At Naeun parent’s house

What should I do?

Naeun rolled his body to the left and right on the bed. Shrug her face in the pillow. Mess her hair roughly. The Doctor’s voice is echoing in her mind.

Flashback

“Thank you Doc for your help”, Doctor who in charge for Naeun is her father’s friend.

“You shouldn’t say thanks to me Naeunah, you should say to a person who gave you the emergency treatment on the right time”

“Who?”

“Don’t you know him? because I saw him entered your room this morning with flower bouquet”.

“Lee Taemin?”

“how could I know his name Naeunah, I just knew him when you were in emergency room and gave explanation about what procedure that he has done, it’s good he has CPR license, if he wasn’t, hmm..Your parent would be sad because their precious daughter would be in dangerous or almost die”.

Flashback end

That time she didn’t know what to say.

She touch her lips, she doesn’t know it was tragedy or lucky. “My first kiss ever, Lee Taemin, my ice prince was stole it”, she thought.

“Another problem is how I can face him after this?”.

When Naeun was busy with her mind Jinri entered her room.

“Naeunah…why you are so messy?”, she touched her hair combed it with finger.

“Oh…just…whatever”.

“Why? Are you still sick?”, Jinri was worried for her.

“Aniya…hmm..Do you know what happened to me two days ago?”

“You were chocking and almost die”.

“Yeah…but…”

“And the cold Lee Taemin not just hugged you from behind, hold your waist, upped your body, touched your belly, and kissed your lips..hahaha”.

 Naeun covered her cheek which already red because of every single word that she said. She bent her head down.

“Why ..Hmm..You looked so depressed?”, Jinri hardly hold her smile.

Naeun just gave her a long sigh as answer.

“I know…you like him right?”

Naeun dilated her eyes. In her mind, how did she know?

“There is no one you can hide from me Naeunah, all this time I just pretend like I don’t know anything”.

“What do you mean?”, Naeun was confused.

“You are afraid to talk what is inside your heart, you just write it, save it and send it to whatever you called as your blog, Miss Sunflower”.

“Maybe you are mistaken person Jinriah, I don’t write anything”, Naeun gave her best to not revealed this, this is, her blog is the real her, she feel if everyone know about it especially Jinri. It’s not because she doesn’t trust her, but her selfish things, her wall, her shell, she afraid to be broken. It’s like her territory is invaded by stranger.

Jinri give her a serious face, “do you think we just as a friend for a couple years? No, Naunah. I know you since we are in middle school, even our parent is a friend too, you know me better Naeunah, but I don’t know you, I mean, I don’t know what is in your mind”

She paused, “I know you write diary every day since you were child, there was one day I was frustrated with you, do you remember? When we stayed quieted and don’t greeted each other because of that boy, I had a planned to stole your diary, but I hold it, I didn’t want to invade your privacy”.

They were too childish, fight over boy. Jinri had crushed on him, but he tried to close to Naeun, Jinri was jealous and Naeun didn’t know Jinri like him. She was angry with Naeun without Naeun knew the reason and it was made her feel angry with her too.

Naeun nodded as she remembers it, but she still silent.

“and few days before, with accident I saw your blog when I searched about Sunflower stuffed for your …”, she take a breath, “…birthday”

Naeun raised her head and looked into Jinri’s eyes.

Jinri smiles, “I’ve planned to give you a sunflower party”.

 “What?”

“Yeah..i’ve planned it for my introvert friend”.

With flattery voice Naeun said, “thank you…but”.

“That’s no matter with me, but can you just be truthfully to me? Tell me what is on your mind, share your secret with me, open your shell, do you know me right? I’ve blabber mouth but I am not blabber with somebody secret”.

Naeun bitted her lips. She struggle to tell her or not.

“Ahrasso…I will understand you, I’ll wait until you are ready to do it”.

Jinri walks to the door and leaves her alone.

After she leaved, Naeun can’t hold her tears, she is crying. She felt guilty to her. She wanted to tell her but something inside her heart can’t allow it.

Jinri can’t hold her tears too, she already in her limit. She thought she can handle it and keep pretending, but the more she ignores it the more she hurt, it against her personality, she hates to admit, she was faked to her. Naeun’s wall is hard for her to climb, she give up.

***

“I am home..”, Taemin entered his house but he doesn’t find anyone in his house and it’s already 10 p.m. He thought, “where is everyone?”.

“Mom!”, he wondered to kitchen but he couldn’t find her.

Opened his sister room, but no one in there, “where is she?”.

When he opened his mom room, he found her sit on the edge of bed, hold a picture. He walks toward her but his expression suddenly changes.

He sighs. “Why are you doing this again?”.

Her mom wiped her tears and hide that picture, “oh..You are home? Are you already have dinner?”.

“Mom, please…don’t be like this. Why you wasted your tears for that person? He doesn’t worth for it”.

“Hmm..I just.. miss him”

“You are still missing him after all he did to you? To us?”.

She remains silent. She knows all the pain and burden that he gave to his son. Taemin must endure it since he was young.

“Mom, please forget him, he leaved us, and he never come back, maybe he already rooting died somewhere”.

“Lee Taemin! Don’t speak like that to your father”, she raised her voice to him.

“After he leaved this house, he never be my father anymore”. He turned and found her sister already stood behind him.

“What happened?”, she was confused.

“You, told to mom to stop thinking for someone who has forgotten us!”, Taemin said to his sister as he walked out from house.

“Oppa!”.

“Mom, what happen on here?”

His Mom felt her knee was weak and she sit on the bed.

“Mom…”, she hold her hand, “are you okay?”.

She nodded, “find your brother…”.

“But are you really okay?”.

“I am okay, find him”.

She going out from house and searching him.

“Oppa!”, she shout. She search in entire neighborhood.

After searching for 15 minutes, she found him sit on the bench with a bottle of beer. He is staring upfront which he can see many building from above.

She stares him from behind. She understands his feeling. That shoulder has to bear everything for her and his Mom sake.

She sit beside him and takes that bottle beer but when she was about to take a sip from it, Taemin take it.

“Ya! Your age not ready enough for it”

She giggles, “next year I will drink it and it would be you who teach me that”. She thought, Father who should teach her and Taemin that, but he learned everything by himself. Be a father, brother and friend to her sister.

He smiles a second and later it suddenly fade.

“I was lucky to have you, all this times, we rely on you without knowing you need someone to rely on too”. She continue, “I will study harder and help you so..”.

“You just need to focus on your study, don’t think anything”.

“Oppa…can you share it with us? Why you act like you are strong and can do anything by yourself? Look, you don’t know you become thinner?”, she raised his hand and compare it with her hand, “your hand more thinner than I”.

“You don’t know anything”.

“Gure..I don’t know anything because you never told it”, she raised her voice.

He just answers it with silent.

“Oppa…you are allow to cry, you are allow to complain, you are allow to ask, tell me, tell us your worry”

He gulps hard his beer and walk away.

“Oppa…please, let me help you, let us…”. Before she finished her word Taemin already walk far away from her.

She shout with all of breath, “go to the hell with your selfishness!”, she cried.    

***

Their hearts were ache from long ago. Like chronic disease, slowly rotten your body and when the trigger come, it will burst like Lava from volcano, burn entire their heart. They can’t blame anyone for this because the pain is saved. They hide it, cover it with the high wall, so anybody can’t climb it.

As the time goes, they are slowly adapted with the pain. Comfortable with it and life with it.

Without they realize, it makes everybody around them are hurt.

.  

 With ache heart how can they approach each other?

sorry for grammar and spelling mistake,,

please comment about this chapter,,

Hope you will like it, happy reading!