29 December 2013

The bizarre sun enters into my empty room between the curtains.

I wake up as I’m looking for each corner but there still a cold wall.

This is not a dream.

Tick tock clock play the sad song, bring my heart belong.

Sit on the bed, hold my knees tight.

I thought I had bad sight.

Because of my eyes still looking your cold eyes with my tears full it each side

This is bad…really bad. You invaded into my soul as I lost myself there.

 But when you leave, it’s empty.

I hate you…

But I still love you at the same time

 

-Sunflower-

 

***

 

He holds his anger, “if we continue this conversation is not good for us”, he closed the door and turn on car’s machine, leaved her with teary eyes.

Naeun lay on the bed; bury her face in the pillow, tries holding her tears as she remember the last conversation with Taemin . While her hand keep dialing one number. She never stops doing that even she knows he never answers it because his phone is inactive.

She keeps regretting what she had done. If she can bring back the time, she will tell him everything. Impossible, it was too late.

With sore and swell eyes due to crying, she washes her face with warm water. Hope it will help warm her heart, but it failed.

She walks out from her bedroom. Climb down the stairs and she reaches the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator, find a small size tart cake and a bar of chocolate. She takes it out. She brings a bottle of wine and a chalice glass too. Put them in one tray and take along that to her room.

She place it on the short square table as she reach out remote control, play the music.

She sit on the fury carpet while pour wine on chalice.

I’m without a heart, I don’t have a heart

So I wouldn’t be feeling pain

Every day I talk to myself and put myself under a spell

But even so, I keep shedding my tears*

“I hope I don’t have a heart”, her tears started falling again as she chewed the cake.

With mouth full of food she said, “Why do you play sad song, huh? Do you know how sad I am right now?”, she talks with her music player.

She slurps the wine and switches the song,

I’m praying that your eyes are the first to go

The way they looked when you smiled

The way they opened and closed**

She remembers when his eyes nearly close each other as he smile and laugh.

And your nose, every single breath against my neck**

When they kissed, his hot breath always tickles her neck.

And then your lips, every empty promise made and said**

His full curves lips that she wants to touch and taste it, she misses it.

Please fade, fade to black**

She shouts, “please fade, fade to black Lee Taemin!”.

“Because your eyes, nose, lips every look and every breath, every kiss, still got me dying, still got me crying**”, she sang with whole hearty and shouted with the whole breath, luckily her room is soundproof so her craziness not bother people who still sleeping.

A bottle of wine already half empty and the other half was in her stomach.

She dials his number again, after a while she throw her phone away, “when you will turn on your phone Lee Taemin!”, she already drunk.

She grabs her phone again and dials another number, after two sounds, “Hello…”, she said with sleepy voice.

“Jinriiiaahhh…”, she said with sobs voice.

“Who are you?”, Jinri still half awake.

“Even you unrecognized me?”.

Jinri looks the name of her phone, “Oh..Naeunah, what happen with you voice, it’s sound like a frog”.

“Jinriahh…”, she answers with crying sound.

“Ya! Are you crying?”, Jinri raise her body and manage to sit.

“I’m not crying…it just my tears keep falling, it doesn’t stop”.

“Why are you crying at this time?”, she peeked at clock, it’s already 04.00 a.m

“I’m not crying!”

“De..De..What happen?”.

Naeun calms her breath, “Jinriah…Why love can be this hurt?”.

As soon as she heard that she sighs, “What he did to you this time?”.

“Not him, but me”.

“What you did?”.

She is wheezing when she said, “I…I…made a mistake, he was really angry, I’m scared Jinriah, how should I do?”.

“What’s mistake?”.

“He…found out about my father and”, she hiccups, “He thinks I am arrogance because I am from wealth family”.

“Wait…What did he said? Arrogance? Why?”.

“I don't know…”, she shook her head, “He didn’t give me a chance to explain, he just leaved”.

“Why you didn’t tell him from first place? I already told you, didn’t you?”.

“I did Jinriah, but…Dad and Mom appeared before I told him the truth”.

Jinri sighs, “Bad luck…so, he met your parent?”.

“De, but Dad still don’t know about me and him dating”, am I still dating with him? She thinks.

“Complicated…Okay, first, you go sleep now. We meet tomorrow at Jun Myeon opaa café”.

“Jun Myeon oppa? Why him?”.

“We need suggestion from him since he knows Taemin well”.

“Why not Minho oppa?”

“He is busy, even its hard for him to have a dinner with me”.

“Gure…But I think I can’t sleep”.

“Aigoo…Should I sing a lullaby to you?”’.

“Ani…It makes me can’t sleep at all”.

“Just read a thick book then”.

“Ahrasso…gomawo”.

“it’s okay, don’t think of weird things, there is no problem that can’t be solve, believe in me”.

“ngg…”

After Naeun turn off the call, she stares Taemin’s number again, she dials it again but still inactive.

She puts her phone and climb to the bed, pulls the blankets covers her body, start sleeping.

 

***

 

She enters Jun Myeon café and sits near the bar.

“Naeunah… What with those panda eyes? And you look pale too, are you sick?”, Jun Myeon approached her and sits beside her as she sits near the bar.

“Aniyo Oppa, I’m okay”, she said with hoarse voice.

“What happen with your voice?”, he looked worried.

“Hmm…I think I have sore throat Oppa”, after she drank much wine and shout like a crazy woman, impossible will be fine.

“If you sick, you should stay at home not wandering around like this”. He calls a waitress, “Please make a glass of hot lemon tea”.

“I’m okay Oppa”.

“Just listen to me, but why are you come here? Do you have appointment? With Taemin?”

“Aniyo, I’ve…”.

“Annyeonghaseyo!”, Jinri greeted them as she sit beside her.

“Oppa! Hot Americano one”, she said to Jun Myeon.

“Order by yourself”, he frowned.

“I need to talk with her privately first”, she hold Naeun shoulder as she her to the table on the right corner. That place has one long table which connects to the wall. Most people sit there when they use Laptop or want to use the electricity. And that is Naeun’s favorite seat.

“So…Are you feel better after you sleep?”, Jinri asked her but she thought her condition not good as she looked her pale face.

“Little…”, she bitterly smiled.

“Are you still can’t contact him?”.

She opens her bag and search her phone, rubs the pocket in her jeans and coat, she can’t find her phone.

“Why? Are you lost your phone?”, Jinri asked.

“Ah…I think my phone still under the table; I put it there after I called you”.

“Aigoo…should I call him, ah..I don’t have his number, do you remember his phone number?”, Jinri hold her phone while waiting Naeun to say Taemin’s number.

“No…I don’t want to see him now”.

“Why? Better you fix this misunderstanding fast before it will be huge problem”.

“I can’t face him, I’m afraid, and look at me, my panda fluffy eyes and hoarse voice, I’m horrible now. He will more hate me”.

“Heol, what is the more important now? Your appearance or your problem?”.

“Both…”, she little smiled. “I must look pretty, if he dumps me, he will regret why he left this beautiful lady”.

“Uuu…Where is the source of this confident? Don’t you say, are you perhaps prepare for being dumped by him?”.

“I don’t know, I hate to admit it, I think the worse case too. If we don’t reach the better conclusion, if he still don’t want listen me. If…”, her tears started falling again.

Jinri hugs her but it makes her crying more hard.

Jun Myeon approach them with brings their order, he confuse with that atmosphere, “What happen in here?”.

Naeun wipes the remaining tears on her cheeks.

“Oppa…sit here”, Jinri tapped the chair beside her.

“Naeunah..Why are you crying?”. Jun Myeon asked her.

“Oppa…You already know Taemin ssi for a long time right?”, Jinri said.

“So, Naeun crying because of Taemin, What did he do? Is he cursed you? “, Jun Myeon said with anger tone.

“What?”, Jinri widen her eyes as she looked at Naeun.

“Aniyo…he never did that”, Naeun said.

“So, what happen?”.

Jinri explains to him, they have misunderstanding about Naeun hide her status.

“Oh..I think I understand why he was like that, he just sad or disappointed with you. He will be okay and find you after he calm his heart first”.

Naeun wonders, “Do you think it will be like that? But every word that he said really mean it, I think he hates me”.

“Don’t misunderstand Naeunah, he always like that, too straightforward without realizing people around him hurt by his words. You know, his father left them and all responsibilities he took in young age, life make him like that. But I don’t like him treat you like this, where is he? Is he contact you?”, Jun Myeon said.

Naeun shake her head.

“Let me call him”. When he about to reach his phone, Naeun said, “Oppa…”, he paused, “Let him contact me first when his heart already”.

Jun Myeon sighs, “Ahrasso…Drink this, Hot lemon tea and this…”, he gave her a pudding cake, “This is orange pudding cake, it’s not frozen, it’s warm, not sweet because we don’t use sugar, it’s fine for your sore throat”.

“For me?”, Jinri questioned a pudding cake for her.

“You can order it if you want”, Jun Myeon said cooly.

Jinri slightly pout, “What is it? Why are you just care to Naeun, I’m jealous”.

“Because I like Naeun more than you”.

Jinri give him Narrow eyes.

“Oppa…”, Naeun startled.

“I’m just kidding, please enjoy your meal”, he said as he leaved them.

“What is it? Is Jun Myeon oppa still like you?”, she said while she took a spoon of Naeun’s pudding cake.

“Impossible, he has a girlfriend you know”.

Jinri nodded as she chews that pudding, “mm…It tasted good, I will order it”.

Jinri leaves her.

When she order the pudding cake, she goes to Jun Myeon office room first. She knocked the door.

“Oppa…Can you do this?”

Jinri said her plan to make Taemin and Naeun solve their problem.

Jun Myeon calls Taemin, “Ya…What did you do to Naeun, huh?”, he tried hold his smiled.

“Better you come here, as in right now”.

After he hangs the phone call, their tossed hand together, Jinri said, “Thank you Oppa”.

She is out from his office and still order pudding cake, for take away.

She approaches her while memorized her script for trick Naeun, “Naeunah…I must go now, My mom need to use my car because her car is in reparation room, are you okay if I leave you alone?”.

She nods, “Thank you for cheer me up”

“That’s why you need a best friend, alright then, I leave now”.

Before she leaves, she hugs her and it cause Naeun tears falling again.

“Everything will be okay dear”, she tapped her back gently.

 

 

 

 

 

*  Without a Heart - 8eight.

** Eyes, Nose, Lips - Tablo version.

Am I teasing you guys?hehe...

 

Thank you for Zaradeamor for fix my grammar, spelling and the structure of sentence plus give me many idea.

Thank you for my subcriber for subcribe my story. I've got new subcriber.

Thank you for people who regulary comments about this story, I love read your comments, even just "please update soon authornim!", that's mean you waiting my story ^^.

 

Happy reading!