She wakes up in the middle of night, open her Tablet Pc and began to type something.

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Memory is just ghost in the corner of mind

If we just stay silent and do nothing

It forever stays as memory

And never be a reality*

This is the old rule that long time I know. Mom told me about it when she told me about her first love. She said, everyone has first love and be a first love of someone. Why it’s memorable because it’s first, like you remember when you fell from bicycle from the first time. The different is your fate, is he will only become your first or he will become your last. My Dad not her first love but her last love. She told me, her first love only as a memory because she has a beautiful reality now.

But I have the different case, I never forget him even though I never know that he is even exist in this world. I let him stay as a ghost. Let him be a fairytale that only live in a story book. I’m like a Snow White that waiting for Prince Charming to come and wake me up with his kiss.

At first I didn’t know this is love or my delusion, why that few second eye contacts would gave me an electric sparkling that can be a energy for me to live in Castile which built by my Dad?

He resembled my Dad’s cold eyes, he was, but I saw another sensation in his eyes. I didn’t know how to express it with word, it’s a.. pain.

That cutie eyes made me wanted to approach him. I walked toward him but not by my feet, I just walked by my heart. My brain won’t allow the motorist neuron to bring an electric signal to my feet so I couldn’t make a step closer to him.

I let him passed by. Gone as his footsteps wiped by falling snow. All this time I just imprint my footsteps in his mark every year so that memory can’t be wipe. I rewrite it every time I am there, waiting him to come. 

I’m Stupid but this is my way to love him. Simply as a word that couldn’t be spoken by a wood to the fire which makes it as the dust and a signal that can’t be delivered by the cloud to the rain which make it disappear**.  

Yeah…I love him without I have a chance to know him, even I don’t know his name.

--Sunflower—

***

“kkhhh….so sad”, a high school student takes a tissue and wipes her tears.

“Why Soo Jungah?”, a girl with short hair paused her lunch and took a look to a girl in front of her.

“I read my favorite blog”,

“Ahh…That Sunflower Unnie? What story she has today?”

Soo jung told about the story to her friend with emotionally. Her friend never interested to read that blog because she just doesn’t like to read but she likes to hear that story from her.

“Don’t you ever think that Unnie is stupid? She only hurt herself”,

“Saeunah, she doesn’t have a chance to”,

“Why? She had but she didn’t take it”

“Let me explain to you, if you were in her position, he was a complete stranger, were you able to approached him and just to asked ‘what’s your name?’ or ‘what’s your phone number?’, you aren’t”

“Yeah..I agree with that, but by keep love him until now is ridiculous”

“So you tell me ridiculous?”, Soo Jung narrow eyes to her.

“Oppss..I don’t know you have the same problem with that Unnie, hehehe”, Saeun laugh as she continue her lunch.

“Yeah..Make a joke about that”, Soo Jung said with annoyed face.

“I am sorry, but why you don’t confess your feeling? I think that oppa will accept it”.

“Hmm..I want to but I think he just thought me as his sister”,

“You never know the answer until you asked him”

“Yeah…but this is my way to love him”

“Oh my god, I must take you to the hospital”, she stood up from her seat.

“Why?“, Soo Jung gave her a confuse face.

“You just infected by Sunflower Unnie virus”,  Saeun brusted with laughter.

 “Aisshh..”, Soo Jung hit her shoulder. “Stop joking around”.

***

A girl with black knee length skirt and pink shirt walked pass through corridor of hospital. A moment ago she was finishing her case and going to locker, prepared to go home. She takes off her white uniform and hangs it, takes a look in mirror and fixes her hair. She stares the mirror for long time. After that she takes her bag and locked her locker.

While she turns her body but as surprised, “Whuaa…!”, she hold her chest with her left hand and the other hand hold the edge of locker. Jinri is standing right behind her back.

“I don’t have intention to surprise you Naeunah”, Jinri walked beside her and opened her locker.

“But can you come with a sound? I thought there is nobody here”.

“You don’t hear the sound of open door? Are you day dreaming dear?”, Jinri holds her shoulder and shook it as she tried to woke her up.

“Stop it, I am fine”,  Jinri released her hand.

“What are you thinking dear? Aren’t see my face every day enough for you to make you happy?”, she made her face like flower, put her hand below her cheeks.

Naeun rolled her eyes and said, “Ugh..Come on”,

“Ahrasso, I know you have hard time today”, she had a hard time to handle two hyperactive child patients entire day.

“So, let’s we are going to shopping for released your stress”, Jinri clapped her both hand and looked at her with sparkling eyes.

“That’s release your stress, not me”

She frown, “Okay, what are you wanted to do? I will accompany you”

“I just want to sleep in my bed”

“Mm..You just can do that by yourself right? ”.

“Who told you I want accompanied by you”

“Nobody, hehe”.

When they leaved the locker room and walked at corridor. Naeun paused.

She definitely believes she saw a ghost. She shook her head and blinked her eyes.

The male lead in her fairytale story finally out of from her story book.

Her ice prince is exist and looking at her with the same eyes. He gives her the same sensation like five years ago.

But she just standing like statue, barely make moving. For her, is not only her is frozen, time and her whole world is stopped, yeah..She wish she can stop the time cause she want to see him a little longer.

Like under his spell, she followed his moves from she saw him, made closer to her, walked beside her and passed her. Like slow motion in drama.

She stare until him disappears from her sight.

“Oh..Isn’t he…”, Jinri murmured a words.

Naeun turned her head and looked her, “do you…know him?”, she shuttered her voice, the shock feeling still remain.

“Yes, I met him couple times”,

“Oh..Really?”

Jinri said, “He is Minho oppa friend”,

“His name Lee Taemin, but why he is here?”

In Naeun mind, Jinriah..Why you told me now? I think I am not able to sleep because I don’t need to dream to meet him again.

*poem by Dee Lestari (I translated it in English)

**poem by Kahlil Gibran

sorry for grammar and spelling mistake^^

I've come up with idea...Why can't I post this fics same with the day on Naeun's diary? hehe..

whuaw..such coincidences, today is 17 June 2014 has the same day in 17 December 2013, haha.. (p.s I really take a look the calendar for Naeun's diary, so the day is accurate but I never thought it will be match^^)

Enjoy reading...

please comment about this chapter^^