I have often have nights where I lay awake thinking of what my life would be like if I weren't important. If I were just another person with no power or political standing. Would I be able to live my life in peace and comfort or would it be the same with just as many hardships and tradgedies? These are the questions which torment me day and night. Then there are also days when I want to fight for power because there's only so much belittlement and torment a person can take. Not to mention being a woman make everything even more difficult. As a woman you are expected to fufill every duty you are given. These duties mostly consist of getting married, pleasing your husband, bearing him sons, and running household affairs but I can't help but want more in this life. I know that sounds greedy but it is what I believe. I wasn't meant to sit around like a doll in a box I was meant to make a change. This whole experience has made me realize even more for myself what is expected of me but it has also made my beliefs grow stronger. Let's face it I have failed my duty as a wife already, I lost my first child and I have realized it is naive to think the way I have for most of my life.

~*~1 Month Later~*~

"Your majesty, his majesty wishes to see you" my lady in waiting sighed as she stood in the door way. "He's waiting out side"

"Send him in" I sighd yet she didn't move.

"He wants to take a walk around the garden" I nodded and she exited the room. My health has recovered and Luhan has been making sure that I take care of myself. We seem to be recovering from the trauma but there are still moments where everything seems to come flooding back the crying, the nightmares, the screaming. It all comes back.

"You wanted to see me" I smiled as I walked out of the room to see him resting on one of the stone pillars.

"I wanted you to get some fresh air" he smiled as he pushed himself off the pillar and began walking towards me. Thing have been okay between us but it's mostly him worrying about me. He truly is a good husband I can't count the number of times he would hold me until I fell asleep after crying or a nightmare.

"Ahhh" I sighed as we walked through the garden.

"You know you're going to have to face the court again sooner or later they're all starting to have suspicions on why you are in your chambers all the time" Luhan sighed as he escorted me to a bench in the garden.

"You told them i'm ill right?" I looked down to my hands. He's right I can't hide forever but the last people I want to see Is that group of nosey old men.

"Yes, but you know how the court is. Especi