23 Not Going Anywhere
Bittersweet Heart
[Gikwang's POV]
No new e-mail. No new message. Nothing.
I sigh heavily, leaning myself against the wall. I stare at my phone, still hoping that it will vibrate because of a new text message. But I know there will be none.
Four months have passed since Sora left to Paris for her research project. Mina has been the one who worked with us and she is getting so much better than the first time she started to work with us.
After all these months, the hot topic about the broken relationship between Yoseob and Sora has finally disappeared among public. It brought quite a problem for us but Doojoon still could keep it all under control.
Once in a while, Sora will send us a message, telling her that she is doing good at Paris, giving us her support for our mini album. She even sent a miniature of Eiffel Tower for Dongwoon on his birthday and a pair of gloves for Doojoon last month.
BEAST is doing the best since we just released our mini album two months ago. As if nothing happened, we still shine as one of the best idol groups.
Sometimes one of us forgets about the fact that Sora is not with us anymore. Hyunseung once asked me to knock at Sora's door to invite her for dinner. On his birthday, Dongwoon prepared a plate for her on the table.
We miss her.
I really miss her.
"Sora, are you sure about it?" I asked her once again. Maybe I've asked her the same question for more than thirty times over and over again.
We were at the airport. She took the flight to Paris in the morning two days after our conversation with President. She wasn't in her room the day before because she met her sister for her preparation to leave Seoul to Paris.
She didn't talk with Yoseob, as much as I knew. And I didn't understand why she didn't talk to him because he wasn't here to send her off due to his schedule.
"I'm sure," Sora smiled to me. I knew it's a forced smile. "I will be fine. Don't worry."
"I will miss you," Hyunseung hugged her. "Tell me if you need us. Maybe we can pay a visit for you once in a while."
"Sure," Sora pats Hyunseung's back twice. "Thank you for your concern."
I looked at her. She was hurting inside. How could I say to her that I would be supporting for her through everything?
"Gikwang Oppa," Sora approached to me, holding my hand; she made my heart to beat rapidly. "Can we talk?"
I nodded nervously, walking away from the others to talk in private with her.
"Don't worry about me," she said once she was sure that the other couldn't hear us. "I know you're really worried about me."
I touched her cheek gently, caressing her cheek with my thumb. A silly question just crossed my mind, "Tell me how can I have your heart forever?"
She gave me another forced smile, "I'm sorry."
My heart skipped a beat.
"I love Yoseob Oppa," she told me her feeling without hesitation this time.
It felt really hurt but somehow I felt that a heavy burden just taken from my shoulder after she confessed her real feeling for me; she had been avoiding to admit her feeling when she was with me.
"Can I still be your little sister?" she tilted her head, looking at me with her cute expression.
"No," I answered and she gave me a sad expression. I pinched her cheeks playfully, "You are our little sister. BEAST's little sister. Always."
She smiled brightly and hugged me, "Thank you, Gikwang Oppa. Thank you."
I patted her head, kissing her hair and inhaling her sweet scent, "Promise me to return as soon as possible."
She nodded, "I promise."
I will be lying if I say that I have forgotten about her completely. But I have controlled my feeling for her now. I start to think about her as my little sister.
I love her as my family.
It's hard but I think we're actually better as brother and sister.
Suddenly my phone vibrates because of a new text message.
It's from Sora.
"I'm on my way back to the apartment."
[Yoseob's POV]
I lean to the elevator wall, feeling extremely exhausted after the recording for my duet with Bomi.
Bomi has debuted with the other five trainees as a new idol group under the label of CUBE Entertainment. They have released their first mini album last month and they received positive reviews and comments from public.
"Yoseob Oppa, I like you," Bomi confessed to me with blushed cheeks. "I really like you."
We were at the rooftop of CUBE Entertainment building. President held a small party for all of us to celebrate their official debut together.
Bomi has been a really good friend for me since Sora left to Paris. I didn't have a chance to talk properly with her about both of our decisions.
I felt that something was missing between us.
"Thank you for your feeling, Bomi," I smiled sadly to her; I couldn't return her feeling. "But I think you know that I still love Sora."
Bomi forced a weak smile, looking down at the floor, "Ah, yes, I know it. I can't win over Sora Unnie."
"Yah, don't say that," I speaked. "You are yourself. Sora is Sora. You are good in your own way."
A smile blossomed on her face as she asked, "I'm glad that I love someone like you, Oppa. You are a really good person."
"Thank you," I patted her head. "You are a good girl. I'm sure you will find someone who will love you as much as you love him someday."
Some rumors have been crossing on the net about me and Bomi but I don't give any comment about it. My manager has warned me to stay calm about everything and I do what he told me.
After all, I do still love Sora.
I thought about sending her an e-mail to tell her about my feeling but everytime I remember that she left to Paris to adjust herself, because she needs her time to be alone, I stop myself from bringing up our past again.
I step out from the elevator after the door was opened. I head to our room with my phone in my hand as I check my Twitter account.
Another new direct message.
There is this unique fan. She mentioned me two days ago, asking me about the truth between me and Bomi. I tweeted to clear the rumor slightly that day.
"Bomi is a really good friend of mine. Please support her and her group!"
At midnight, this fan mentioned me again, asking me a surprising question.
"Will you agree to return back with Sora if she ever asks you to?"
I replied to her via direct message because I couldn't answer it with a tweet; it's too frontal. I shouldn't even answer the question but somehow I wanted to tell someone the truth.
"I always love Sora."
The fan didn't mention me again or reply my message after that. I don't really pay attention about it after all.
But her new direct message makes me to freeze on my stand.
"Rooftop. Special spot."
Without even thinking, I rush to the elevator, heading to the rooftop.
That message. The only person who knows that the rooftop is my special spot...
Sora.
[Sora's POV]
I've done with the research project. It was one of the most difficult projet I ever handle but I think the result is good enough.
Drawing a distance with Yoseob gave me times to think about myself, our relationship, and everything. I feel better now even though sometimes I still miss him and the other members.
My parents helped me with my research project. For my surprise, my mother even once told me that it would be alright if I want to return to Seoul again.
"You love photography," she said with a smile. "And you're talented photographer."
She cupped my face with her hands, "And I know you love Yoseob."
My cheeks started to blush madly because of her sudden statement. Was it that obvious?
"I am an experienced woman, young lady," she chuckled because of my reaction. "Love is not something like your object of research project, sweetheart. Love is something that can't be described with full logical thinking."
I blinked. This was the first time I ever talked about love stuff with my mother.
"Your heart might feel bitter sometimes. Or maybe too sweet sometimes. But that's how you know the feeling of being loved and in love is," my mother held my hand gently. "Do you love him, Sora?"
I didn't answer her immediately but then I murmured vividly, "Yes..."
"Good. Now you need to make up your mind," she smiled lovingly. "Show him that you still love him. Show him that you always love him."
That's the first reason why I created a new Twitter accound under a fictional person. I mentioned him, asking about his relationship with Bomi because I've read it on the net quite sometimes.
Since nobody knows that it's my account, I asked him about returning back to me, if I ask him to.
And he sent me a text message.
"I always love Sora."
I quickly bought the ticket to Seoul.
And talking about another coincidence of history is repeating itself, today marks one year since the day Yoseob announced his feeling for me during United Cube Concert at Japan; one year since the day we started dating officially.
And talking about another coincidence of history is repeating itself, today marks one year since the day Yoseob announced his feeling for me during United Cube Concert at Japan; one year since the day we started dating officially.
I wanted to meet him. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know that I still love him.
And I always love him.
I sent a text message to Gikwang since I've promised him that I would tell him if I return to Seoul. And I sent a direct message to Yoseob using the fictional Twitter account.
"Rooftop. Special spot."
I dropped all my luggage in a hotel room before taking a taxi to the apartment, waiting alone on the rooftop.
I miss this special spot.
I didn't know where they are right now; probably busy with their schedule.
Four months without them make me miss them badly. And four months couldn't make me forget my feeling towards Yoseob. Four months without him just made me realize that I really love him.
Four months without them make me miss them badly. And four months couldn't make me forget my feeling towards Yoseob. Four months without him just made me realize that I really love him.
The sound of opened door of the rooftop makes me to turn around.
"Sora?"
Yoseob is standing in front of me, catching his breathe. He must have been running all the way up here.
Without even waiting for my reaction, he rushs to me and hugs me tightly. He buries his face on my hair, kissing it gently.
"I miss you," he whispers without letting me go from his hug. "I really miss you."
"Me too," I smile, ignoring the fact that my face is blushing. Actually, I miss the feeling of blushing because of him.
"Yah, why didn't you tell me that you would return tonight? I could have picked you at the airport!" he pouts. "How long will you stay? Have you eaten yet? How is your research project? Did Mina kno-"
He is blurting his question without a second to pause. I can't even manage to catch all of his words because he says it really quick.
I cut off his question with a kiss.
"Easy," I part the kiss with shy smile. "I'm not going anywhere. You can ask me the questions all night long."
He stands there, stunned because of the kiss.
"I'm serious about the question," I fake a cough. "The question that whether you will accept my feeling again or not."
He blinks in silence, not giving me any reaction.
"Except if you have stopped loving me, of course," I laugh nervously; it's a laugh without any intention because of the awkward silence.
"Yah, tell me," Yoseob reaches out his hand to touch my cheek. He shows me his charming smile, the smile that I really miss. "How can I stop loving you?"
He leans closer to me and kisses my lips passionately. I clutch his shirt, deepening our kiss as he wraps his arms around my waist.
"I love you," he whispers after he parted the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry for everything I did. Will you forgive me?"
"Can I stay mad at you when I love you too?" I touch his warm blushed cheek with my cold fingers. "Forgive me for breaking up with you. Forgive me for leaving you without any explanation."
"But you're not going anywhere again, right?" he tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing it with his finger. He kisses the edge of my hair; his favorite gesture
"I'm not going anywhere," I let his hand to cup my cheek, feeling his warm touch, "as long as you let me to stay."
"Then you're going to stay forever with me," he kisses my forehead and then the tip of my nose.
He intertwined his fingers with me, whispering to my ear before he gives me another sweet kiss.
"I love you."
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