22 Not Going To Stay
Bittersweet Heart
[Yoseob's POV]
I take a glance at Sora. She is closing her eyes, listening to her iPod silently. She sits next to Junhyung due to her request when we got in the plane.
Right after the mini showcase, Gikwang started to stop talking with me. He is really mad at me because of my selfish decision.
Our manager has warned me that I must meet the President with Sora as soon as we arrive at Seoul. They want the detail so the fans will not misunderstand about what is happening.
Sora didn't stay with us during my recording session with Bomi. She left to the hotel by herself to pack her stuff; that's what Doojoon told me though.
"Oppa," Bomi calls my name with worry. "Are you alright?"
She is sitting next to me; Sora exchanged her seat with Bomi because she was arranged to sit next to me again. What a concidence, eh?
"I'm good," I smile weakly. "I'm just tired."
To be honest, I don't know what I'm feeling right now.
I've done what I must do. She wanted me to tell the truth, right? She said that she is good without me, right?
Then why do I feel something is wrong?
I look through the window, letting my mind to wander somewhere else.
[Sora's POV]
I'm tired. Not physically but mentally. I tried to sleep on our flight back to Seoul but I couldn't. In the end, I just listen to the music, trying to get rid of Yoseob from my mind.
"We're not in a relationship anymore."
The words keep echoing in my mind.
And my heart is aching worse than before now.
"Sora," Junhyung mutters my name; he knows that I'm just pretending to sleep.
I open my eyes slowly, looking at him silently. He gives me a sad smile after sighed heavily.
"Yoseob still loves you," he opens the conversation. "I know you know it."
I hold my breathe; I don't know what to say about Yoseob now. I don't even know what to do about us now.
"Sora, we will be happy if you're happy. And looking at you and Yoseob now is hurting us," Junhyung continues. "I know it's not easy. It's incredibly hard for both of you. But I know you two are made for each other."
"Thank you," I murmur without focusing at him at all. "But I think Yoseob has made up his mind with the announcement."
Junhyung sighs and mumbles, "Just think of it. Think of what your heart is feeling. Think of what your heart is telling you."
He ends the conversation, leaving a question to linger on my mind.
What does my heart want?
[Gikwang's POV]
As soon as we arrive at Seoul around 8 PM, we go straight to CUBE Entertainment building to meet the President; he wants the explanation from Yoseob and Sora in person.
Fans are talking about them on the net. They appear as Trending Topic and the news has been spreading around.
No one talks during our way to the building. Sora doesn't say a word and Yoseob just keeps looking through the window. The gloomy atmosphere is filling the van.
I am extremely mad at Yoseob.
I just put my faith in him after convincing myself that Sora would be happier if she is with him; but he made a decision without telling Sora or us at all. The decision that could turn everything upside down.
Sora must be really hurt now. The moment when she has chosen to return with Yoseob, he crushed down her with the public announcement.
And now they need to talk directly to the President.
They are so in trouble.
We leave all of our luggages in the van once we arrived at the building. We head to the President's office room, preparing ourselves to listen to his lecture now.
"I'm sorry for asking all of you to come after your long journey," President puts down his pen and stands up from his seat after we stepped inside his room, bowing politely. "But I need to talk."
"How long have you been hiding it from me, Yoseob?" President approaches Yoseob with serious expression. "I thought you have announced that you're still in a relationship with her less than a month ago."
"Two months...," Yoseob answers, staring at the floor. "I'm sorry..."
"Sorry doesn't change anything," President sighs with disappointment. "I agreed to let you in a relationship, just like what I've said to Junhyung, but I thought you're going to tell me about your relationship."
His gaze moves to Sora, who is closing her eyes, trying to keep calm; I know her heart is clenching right now.
"Sora, I don't want to interfere with your personal life, but I really need to know about the detail," President walks closer to her. "Did you really break up with Yoseob?"
I can see that Doojoon and Junhyung exchange looks, looking really worried. All of us are waiting for her answer.
What do I expect her to say?
"Yes," Sora opens her eyes calmly. "And I'm going to do something about it."
[Sora's POV]
I've been thinking on our way to CUBE Entertainment building. It's not that I want to take a revenge on Yoseob but I think all of us need some times for ourselves.
"I'm going to Paris," I tell the President and I can see that the other members are widening their eyes, including Yoseob.
"I'm not asking you to leave," President frowns. "You know that running away is not a wise option."
"I want to focus on my work as a researcher," I explain, trying to keep calm. "I'm sure Mina will work with better focus. I will talk to her."
There were seconds of silence before the President speaks, "I have no right to forbid you from working your other work."
"But-" Gikwang tried to protest but Doojoon quickly cuts his words.
"Can we talk with Sora?"
"Sure," the President nods slightly. "I will announce the news officially now since both of you have nothing against the news, right?"
I don't say anything and neither does Yoseob.
"You can return to your apartment now. Take a good rest," the President bids us goodbye, returning to his works again.
"Sora, are you serious about going to Paris?" Hyunseung blurts his question as soon as we step out from the office room. "You never told us about it."
"I'm going to concentrate on my research project," I answer his question, avoiding Yoseob's eyes. "I'm sorry for the sudden decision."
"I'm sorry," I bow down to them. "I'm sorry for giving more and more trouble to all of you. I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing," Doojoon pats my head gently. "You did nothing wrong."
My eyes finally meet Yoseob's. He looks at me with sad expression, showing me that he never expected me to leave. Again.
"It's alright," I finally say something to him. The other members turn to look at his reaction but he just blinks. "Thank you for telling the truth."
"Sora...," Gikwang looks really worried about me.
But I'm not going to cry again.
"I don't want to hurt anyone," I explain to all of them about the reason behind my decision. "But I think I still have a lot to learn in life. I need some times for myself, to adjust my feeling and to be better."
I smile calmly, "Thank you for everything."
I bow down once again.
I'm not going to stay.
Comments