14 Just
Bittersweet Heart
[Gikwang's POV]
"I'm on my way back. Sorry for the late reply."
I smile when I read Sora's reply for my text message. I've sent her a text message around 3 hours ago but she just replied it now, when the clock strikes 9 PM.
She did say that she had a meeting tonight since her research team just received new members for the latest research project. It keeps happening lately, making her to return late to the apartment.
Sora has cancelled her movement to her previous apartment due to my request. Sohyun helped her with the document so she didn't need to move back there.
Today marks the third day since my birthday, the night when she kissed me for the first time. I never expected the kiss from her, knowing that she still loves Yoseob.
"You have my heart now," she whispered as her hands held mine.
"Sora...," I muttered her name with hesitation. I cupped her cheek with my other hand, looking at her with sad smile. "I don't want you to force your heart to be mine."
She shook her head slowly, "This is what my heart is telling me. I must be the luckiest girl in the world to be loved by you for so long."
I caressed her cheek with my thumb, smiling when I heard her words. Could I be any happier now that she had accepted my feeling?
But why did I feel something was not right here?
Her heart was still Yoseob's. At least, part of her heart was.
"Sora, I know you too well," I leaned closer and kissed her forehead. "I know it feels like deja vu but can we do the deal again?"
"Eh?" she blinked, confused with my words.
"The deal of a month relationship," I cleared my throat awkwardly. "If you are sure enough after one month, I will tell the truth to the President so a public announcement can be announced to our fans."
She looked away, avoiding my eyes. I knew she was thinking of our fans' reaction. I understood; sometimes fans could be more surprising than what we've thought.
"I want you to love me back but if you can't do that within a month, then I guess we're just not meant to be," I pulled her into a hug. My heart was aching really bad when I said it.
Honestly speaking, I was really happy that my heart almost jumped out when she kissed me. But a part of me didn't accept the fact that what all people out there knew that she's Yoseob's girlfriend.
How do you feel when your girlfriend is well known as your friend's girlfriend?
One word: awkward.
I haven't told the other members about this because we're really busy as well lately, especially we will start the recording of the new variety show with the new trainees at different countries starting next week.
We will take a flight to Japan next week and continue to Singapore within two days. Our manager has told us that we can consider it as holidays because we won't have another schedule except a mini showcase and recording for the variety show there.
Since Sora hasn't been in charge nowadays, she will be the one who will take care of the documentation next week while Mina can take a break.
I get up from my bed and grab my black jacket, rushing down to the apartment lobby to wait for Sora.
I want to see her.
[Sora's POV]
I sigh heavily, looking at the time. I can't believe it's already this late. I am a real workaholic to work until this late without even realizing the time. If I didn't check my phone and read the text message from Gikwang, I think I am still at the office.
Gikwang always wait for me to come back, bidding me good night in person. He refused to sleep before I arrived safely at the apartment.
He has been really sweet, not to mention that he always been the sweetest guy ever to me since the first time I met him around one year ago.
I don't think the other members know about us yet. I feel awkward; Gikwang must have considered my feeling all along.
If their fans find out about the change of my heart, switching from Yoseob to Gikwang, Yoseob's fans must be enraged and Gikwang's fans must have objection towards this issue.
I really don't know what to do.
What will Yoseob feel when he finally find out that I have returned Gikwang's feeling?
What if after one month, I still can't forget Yoseob fully? What if the memories of Yoseob and me still linger in my mind?
I step out from the taxi after paid it. My eyes widen when I notice a figure, leaning to the wall of the building with black jacket.
"Gikwang Oppa," I call out, approaching him with small steps.
"You're back," he smiles sincerely. "It's really late so I think it will be good if I wait for you here."
"I'm sorry," I bow deeply. "I should have told you earlier. I'm sorry for being really busy that I do-"
"Hey, stop apologizing," he pats my head gently, his favorite act. "I'm glad you're alright."
I was afraid. Afraid that he will feel the same like Yoseob, that I care more about my works over him, that I abandon the one I love because of my workaholic habit.
But he doesn't.
"It's alright if you're busy," Gikwang embraces my hand, noticing my sad expression. "You are doing it for your good. How can I blame you?"
"But I...," I hesitated for seconds. "What if I will work harder that we can't see each other? What if I spend my times more for works than with you?"
"Then I just have to understand you a little bit more," he rests his forehead against mine. "We are working our best right now, aren't we? Until the day come, we just need to understand each other."
My heart skips a beat.
How can he understand me this well?
"Come on," he kisses my forehead and winks playfully. "You need to take a rest now."
I start to blush.
Can he be any sweeter than now?
[Yoseob's POV]
"I will call you again then," I smile and bid her good night, ending the conversation line.
It's Bomi.
We're discussing about our musical performance. My manager has assigned me to accompany Bomi in a musical performance next month, right after her debut.
I have kept in touch with Bomi constantly because of our works. I share my experiences of being main vocalist to her, talking about the variety show and now the musical performance.
I find that Bomi is actually a really shy girl. She is the only child in her family and she really wishes to have an older sister like Sora.
It's fun to talk with her because we share same interests about music, movies, and more, but the sadness strikes me whenever she mentions Sora's name in the middle of the conversation.
How she adores Sora, how she thinks that me and Sora are a great couple, how she wants to work along with Sora. Bomi is Sora's fan and somehow it is actually torturing me softly.
I still want Sora back with me.
That's why I keep the "YS" pendant as my phone strap. I know she will refuse to take back the pendant but it is a really important thing for me and I don't want to lose it.
Maybe, just maybe, someday I can hand it back to her.
But do I still have a chance for it?
Gikwang has been really close to Sora lately. I have a feeling that Sora has moved on from me and, probably, she has fallen for Gikwang. Or maybe she will fall for him sooner or later.
I don't have any right to prevent Gikwang for making her to fall for him. After all, even though I don't want to admit it, maybe Gikwang can make her happier than me.
"Yang Yoseob, you are the biggest fool in the world," I murmur to myself, leaning my back against the wall of my bedroom.
It's 10 PM already and I still can't sleep yet. I grab my gray jacket and leave the room, heading to the rooftop.
Actually I haven't visited the rooftop again since the last time I talked with Sora there because that place will remind me of her, her final decision, her words that breaking my heart.
But ironically, the rooftop is the only special spot that can make me feel better when I'm feeling lonely.
I gaze at the night sky. I used to be here with Sora together. If only I understood her better, this would never happen, this break up that has broken our hearts.
I plug my earphone and start the playlist, pushing the next button until I find a ballad track.
Ah, it's our song.
And Sora loves this song.
[Sora's POV]
Gikwang has returned to his room because it's already 10 PM now. I was thinking of drift away to sleep but I don't feel sleepy.
Yes, I am tired, but I can't sleep.
I take a glance at my camera. I want to take some pictures of the night sky; photography always make me feel better.
I take the elevator to the rooftop after wearing my jacket. Right when I open the door, my heart skips a beat because Yoseob is standing in the middle of the rooftop. His back is facing me but I know it's him.
But he doesn't notice my presence.
He is pressing the button of his iPod, as if he is searching for a certain track. He finally puts his iPod on his pocket and starts to sing the song.
He starts the song after the Doojoon's part; yes, I know this song.
"Uri haengbokhan naldo hamkkehan sigando
Doedollil su eomna bwa sigani ireoke gana bwa"
The times we were happy, the times we spent together
It seems we can’t put them back, it seems time just flows away
It's Just Before Shock. It's a short but sad song. It's their song.
My heart aches again. His voice. His singing. As if he is trying to say something.
He sings the refrain part, making hand gestures along. I don't make any movement, listening to his voice which is slightly wavering.
"Baby baby please Naege dasi dorawa
Baby baby Why Jakkuman naegeseo meoreojyeo
Saranghandago, malhaedallago
Butjabeuryeo haedo amureon daedabi eobseo
Baby baby please Doraseoseo hanbeonman, Ttak hanbeonman nal hanbeonman
Useumyeo nal barabwa jwo"
Baby baby please, Come back to me
Baby baby Why, You are becoming further away from me
Tell me that you love me
When I try to get a hold of you there’s no answer
Baby baby please, Turn around once more, just once more
And smile as you look at me
The song will be over soon.
I quickly step back, opening the door slowly so he won't notice that I was there, listening to him.
I rush back to my room, forgetting my former plan to take some pictures at the rooftop.
I still can't forget about Yoseob.
Why? When Gikwang is here for me, understanding me, caring for me, loving me with all his heart.
I put down my camera on the table and open the shelf, taking out the silver photo frame from inside. I stare at the picture of me and Yoseob in the frame.
"We're just friends now, right?"
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