21 Not Meant To Be
Bittersweet Heart
[Gikwang's POV]
"How do you feel now?" Doojoon taps my shoulder lightly.
I'm just done showering and it's 6 AM already; we need to attend the rehearsal and preparation for the mini showcase at 8 AM. It's not too far though.
"Better," I smile to assure him. "Don't worry, I will do my best as usual for today."
Doojoon patted my back twice with a warm smile before he leaves the room to check on other members. I quickly check on my stuff, getting ready to leave the room as well to check on Sora.
After the conversation last night, I told her to return to her room so she could take a good rest. She cried all night yesterday and I knew she was feeling exhausted.
But actually I told her to go back because I couldn't bear to stay longer with her without wanting her to be mine.
I know there is a small hope for me but I think it's wiser if I let Sora to choose by herself.
And the answer is quite obvious, isn't it?
Honestly speaking, I don't want to choose between Sora and Yoseob. Both of them are two of the most important persons in my life and I love both of them, in different ways. I want them to be happy with their lives.
I guess the hardest choice in life is choosing between what you want and what you deserve.
But I mean it; if Yoseob makes Sora cry again after this, I will stand up for Sora without any hesitation. No matter how much I care for Yoseob as my brother, I still love Sora with all my heart.
As for now, I just can hope they will talk and figure out everything.
If they manage to get back together, I guess I just need to support them again, just like what I used to do.
I clutch my shirt. My heart aches again.
"You're too naive, Lee Gikwang," I murmur to myself.
[Sora's POV]
"Are you ready?" Yoseob pats my head gently from behind.
I look up to find he is smiling at me. He is wearing his white shirt and black jacket, ready to perform on the stage again.
I am at the backstage because I need to take some pictures of their busy preparations from behind the scene instead of their performances on stage only.
The mini showcase has been started since an hour ago. Their fans are gathering in the hall, chanting their love for their idols. Even some fans are actually the fans for the new trainees and I can see that Bomi is the one who has more fans compared to the others.
No wonder. Bomi is cute and talented.
I nod slightly, hiding my almost blushed cheeks. I don't know why I need to blush.
"Good," he grins. "Take a good picture!"
"Ah," I was going to stop him because I need to tell him that I want to talk. I want to say something. But Dongwoon pulls him quickly to the stage because it's time to perform.
Yoseob flashed me a smile before stepping up to the stage with cheerfulness.
Despite the fact that Gikwang has been hurt many times by me, he keeps telling me to have my own happiness.
As for now, I must admit that I do love Gikwang but it's a vivid love; my heart goes to Yoseob all the time.
I wanted to talk to him last night but Doojoon told me that he has returned to his room earlier to take a rest so I didn't want to bother him; they have to perform their best today.
Since the morning, we're to busy with the preparation for the mini showcase and I didn't even have time to talk to him. And I know he was focusing on his rehearsal so he won't check his phone even though I told him via text message.
Blame me for being to have such a simple way of thinking.
I return to my position to take pictures of their performances. I can feel that some fans stare at me whenever I move around; I'm sure enough they want to be me so they can be close to Yoseob.
I am a little bit too cocky, eh?
"Thank you, Singapore!" Doojoon shouts to the fans after they sang Fiction.
Two MCs of the mini showcase step to the stages, ready to translate their words so the fans will understand.
They talk about their happiness to perform here again, their new mini album that will be released soon, and finally the MC mentions my name.
"Yoseob and Sora are hot topic!" the MC grins widely as my heart skips a beat; I can feel the fans are looking at me now. "You two are cute couple!"
"Ah, about us...," Yoseob sounds nervous. "I need to tell all of you something."
I put down my camera. I have a bad feeling about this.
No, don't tell me he is going to...
"We're not in a relationship anymore."
[Yoseob's POV]
I'm glad that Sora looks better today compared to yesterday. After all we will be really busy for today's mini showcase.
"Thank you, Oppa," Bomi returned my tuxedo after we reached her room. "You need to take a rest for tomorrow's mini showcase. We still have a recording to do after that."
"Look who's talking," I patted her head. "You are the one who is sick, Bomi ah."
Her cheeks turned into flushed pink. Her lips formed into a shy smile. She looked really cute.
"Can I ask something?" I suddenly blurted out without thinking. I didn't know what got into me.
"Ne?" she tilted her head with confused expression, waiting for me to continue.
"If I tell you that I broke up with Sora, what will you think?" I asked her with doubt tone. Somehow I wanted to know her thought about me and Sora.
"It's such a pity," she mumbled with sad expression. "Yoseob Oppa and Sora Unnie are wonderful together. I adore both of you."
"But if she said that she is all good without me, do I need to ask her to love me again?" I finally blurted out the question. The question that I've been holding all these times.
Bomi blinked with surprise, "Did you really break up with Sora Unnie?"
"N-no, I'm just wondering," I stammered. I was so stupid to ask this question to Bomi. "F-forget it. I guess I'm just too tired."
"Well, if I'm on your position, and if it happens to me, I think I will let go of Sora Unnie," Bomi answered it calmly. "If I really love someone, I want them to be happy. I don't want to be selfish and force the person to love me back."
My heart skipped a beat. She's right.
"I'm the type of people who believes that when one door is closed, another door is opened for us," Bomi made a peace sign with her fingers, giving me a bright smile.
I couldn't hold myself to smile when I looked at her face.
"Thank you," I patted her head again, feeling better now that I've talked to someone. "You're a good girl."
Bomi blushed again but this time she managed to reply me, "I'm glad that you smile."
Ah, she was extremely cute and sweet. But my mind was wandering to an idea that I needed to do at the mini showcase.
An idea to settle everything.
"Yoseob and Sora are hot topic! You two are cute couple!" one of the MCs gives me a wide grin. I can see the fans show me their happy expressions too.
"Ah, about us, I need to tell all of you something," I mutter calmly, trying to steady my voice.
The other members turn to look at me, surprised with the sudden answer. There is nothing such as this topic to be brought on the stage.
Yes, I haven't told anyone about this idea. But after all the trouble I've caused, including the picture of me and Sora yesterday, I think I really need to tell the public about the truth now.
Maybe Sora will feel better. Because she once said that the reason I've been telling the lie about our unbroken relationship was just for our sakes, for the prevention of fans' attacks.
I love Sora.
But just like what Bomi said, Sora deserves to be happy. And keeping her with my lie to our fans and public is not a good option.
I decided to end the lie.
"We're not in a relationship anymore," I clear my throat awkwardly as my eyes try to find Sora. "I'm sorry for the late announcement."
The translator freezed for a moment before she translates my words into English, making the fans to whisper to each other, giving Sora confused looks.
"Yoseob!" Doojoon hisses, trying to keep his charisma on the stage. "What are you doing?"
"Telling the truth," I answer him quickly, ignoring the other members' eyes.
I lift up the microphone again, close to my lips and continue, "But we're still best friends. She will always be BEAST's little sister. So please keep supporting BEAST and Sora as always."
I bow down and the other members bow next to me. The MCs are both speechless because they quickly give the stage back to us so we can sing our last song.
My eyes try to find Sora again but I can see her face directly; she is working with her camera.
Sora, this is what you asked me.
I hope you will be happy.
[Sora's POV]
I didn't know he would announce our broke up. Why did he do that? Why didn't he ask me anything? Why didn't he say anything?
I took some snapshots for their last song before I rush to the restroom. I cry but not as hard as yesterday. I wipe my tears away, taking a deep breath and telling myself that I need to control my emotion.
I don't understand why Yoseob kept doing everything without asking me first.
His announcement about our relationship after I broke up with him. And now telling the public about the truth.
Yes, he didn't lie but... I thought he would wait for me.
Did he give up on me?
I return to the make up room because they still have their last schedule at Singapore; Yoseob still has a recording to do with Bomi.
"Why didn't you tell us that you would announce it on the stage?!" I can hear Gikwang's frustration words from outside when I was going to open the door.
"It's what she always wanted," Yoseob answers. "If she is happier without me, then let her be happy without me."
My heart sinks immediately.
"Stop," their manager stops the quarrel calmly. "Yoseob, you're going to meet the President after we arrive at Seoul. You and Sora."
There were seconds of silence before I hear Yoseob murmurs vividly, "Yeah."
I clench my fists.
Why?
When I finally decided to tell him that I still love him. When I finally realized that my heart always belong to him. When I finally wanted to be with him once again.
Are we not meant to be together?
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