13 Now
Bittersweet Heart
[Yoseob's POV]
"Saengil chukkahamnida~ Saengil chukkahamnida~" Dongwoon and Hyunseung sing in unison for Gikwang while Doojoon puts the birthday cake on the table.
Gikwang laughs and claps for himself, "Ah, so there is no surprise as well this year?"
"We better think of new idea for the variety show rather than an idea to surprise you," Junhyung jokes. "Make a wish now!"
He closes his eyes with a smile forms on his lips, making his own birthday wish and then blows off the birthday candles.
"I hope your muscle will be stronger," I hug him with a big grin. "Don't make them for eye candy only."
"Can you give me another greeting?" he pats my back twice, laughing happily. "Thank you, Yoseob."
Each of us gives us our greetings, wishing him birthday wishes. We sit down again, waiting Gikwang to slice the cake.
"Ah, Bomi sent you a birthday greeting," I blurt out. "She just sent me a text message."
Gikwang stops his movement, looking at me with surprise expression.
"Looks like you're getting along with Bomi lately," Doojoon says with doubt in his voice.
"Don't worry," I assure them. "There will be no rumor between us. Nothing happened between us."
A week has passed since the night I talked with Sora. That night I decided to give up on her, knowing that she is actually hurting because of me.
How much was she hurting because of me?
If staying with her means breaking her heart, I'd rather choose to leave; I love her and I want her to be happy.
The knocks on the door stop our conversation. Hyunseung stands up and walks to the door, opening it to welcome the guest.
"Sorry, I'm late," Sora steps in the main room with Hyunseung. "I must take care of the recruitment of new members for the team."
"As long as you bring a present for Gikwang, he won't mind," I grin widely to her.
Since that night, the frequency of our communication has decreased. I rarely text her except if it's an important matter. She is busy with her works as well so we don't meet often.
But I try my best to keep a good relationship with her. At least I need to make her happy with my own ways, right?
[Sora's POV]
Drowning myself in works is an effective way to make me forget about Yoseob, even though my hear always skip a beat whenever I look a him, reminding me of his sad smile that night on the rooftop.
He has already gave up on me.
Mina has reported to me about their activities lately and I've checked all the documentation. Before the public announcement was publicized, Yoseob didn't smile often, but now he looks much better.
A part of me is glad that he is more cheerful now. He even managed to talk as usual with me, as if there is nothing happened between us.
But a part of me is regretting the fact that he has probably moved on from his feeling for me.
I don't respond anything to the public announcement, considering the fact that I don't want our fans to cause new issues for now.
Bomi will start her debut soon, BEAST will release a new album, and I still have a contract with BEAST. I don't think it's a good idea to ruin over our images because of my broken relationship with Yoseob.
After all, we're still family, aren't we?
"Here," I hand over the present to Gikwang. "Saengil chukkahamnida."
I bought him a black cardigan, knowing that his favorite color is black and he always love to wear a jacket or a cardigan. Actually I didn't have any idea of his present since he can have anything he wants and his fans will give him presents as well.
"Thank you," he takes the box from me with a smile. "Where is Mina?"
"She is on her way here," I take a seat next to Dongwoon. "She's just done with her project."
I take a glance at Yoseob. He is playing with his phone, probably updating his Twitter.
He is wearing the wristwatch I gave to him on his birthday this January. He always wear the watch except when he is performing.
But my eyes widen when I look at his phone strap. He changed his phone strap.
It's a silver phone strap with "YS" pendant.
[Gikwang's POV]
Mina arrived at the apartment around 8 PM. After enjoying the cake and the dinner together, Mina helps Hyunseung with the dirty dishes, telling Sora to take a rest because she still have works to do tomorrow.
"Sora," I approach her when she is wearing her shoes. "Can we talk?"
She looks up and nods with her usual calm smile, "Sure. Do you want to talk in my room?"
"If you let me to," I reply. I wear my shoes and leave with her, stepping into her apartment and sit on the sofa, side by side like we used to do.
It brings back the memories of last year. I confessed to her next year, on my birthday as well. I still keep the black knit hat she gave to me last year; it's one of the most precious things for me.
From what I saw, she has talked with Yoseob and they look a little bit better now. Even though it's still awkward, they managed to start a good conversation between each other.
I could see Yoseob was holding back his feeling when he's with Sora and I knew Sora was preventing herself to get too close with Yoseob.
I'm gambling with my own decision now.
"Anything?" Sora tilts her head cutely.
"You're cute," I chuckle. Right away, she blushes madly. It's been a while since she blushes like this.
I look at her face. I never stopped loving her. Not even once.
"Sora," I embrace her hand gently. "I've been holding on this feeling for so long."
Gikwang, say it.
[Sora's POV]
My heart starts to beat uncontrollably. I rarely spend my times with Gikwang lately because of my hectic schedules but he never failed to make me blush whenever I'm with him.
He never failed to make me feel comfortable around him, even though I am really tired because of my works, no matter how late I return from the office; he always be there for me.
I know where this conversation is heading to.
I know I'm being so confident but this happened before, right?
"Do you want me to be my girlfriend?"
My brain freezes for a second upon his confession.
He keeps his sincere smile, holding my hand in his as he looks at me with gentle eyes.
"I...," I'm speechless, looking away from him to hide my blushed cheeks.
"I know it's too fast for you," he says calmly. "I know you're trying to prevent anything bad from happening. That's why you let the public announcement of your relationship with Yoseob keeps going on."
"But, Sora, I'm serious," he kisses my hand softly. "I still love you. I want you to be happy. If Yoseob can't be the one to do that for you, I will."
Why? Why does he still love me?
After all these times, after everything happened. I've broken his heart before. He has been the one who supported me with Yoseob during our hard times.
Yet he still loves me.
Why?
"Just think of it, will you?" Gikwang caresses my cheek. "Don't think about it too hard. I know you're busy with your works."
Why is he so caring about me? Why does he keep loving me?
"Sora," Gikwang wipes away my tears that I don't even notice have escaped my eyes. He pulls me into his hug, embracing me tighter. "I'm sorry. Don't cry."
Why does he even apologize to me?
I clutch his shirt, trying to control my overflowing emotion.
Despite the fact that I still can't forget about Yoseob, I can't deny that I have been thinking about Gikwang lately.
He always support me through everything, even when I was still with Yoseob. He cares for me with all his heart, telling me that he will always be with me.
Why don't I even realize his love for me?
"Don't cry on my birthday," he cupped my face with his hands before pinching it playfully. "You're more beautiful with a smile."
I smile weakly, knowing that he is trying to cheer me up.
"I love you, Sora," he rests his forehead on mine, making my heart to continue beating rapidly. "I just want you to know that."
He tilts his head, leaning closer to me. I close my eyes, not knowing what to do.
Then I feel his lips on my left cheek.
I open my eyes to find him smiling sincerely, "I don't have your heart so I can't kiss you, right?"
My heart sinks.
He still remembers the promise. He still keeps his promise.
I reach out my hand, touching his cheek with my cold fingers.
He has been with me all these times. Through up and down. Through happiness and sorrow.
Why did I just realize it now?
I lean closer to him and the next second I know, my lips are locked with his.
This is my first kiss with Gikwang.
He is the only person I ever kissed, other than Yoseob of course.
I part the kiss. The surprise and shock are written on his face.
I hold his right hand with both of my hands as I whisper.
"You have my heart now."
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