18 Sorry
Bittersweet Heart
[Yoseob's POV]
"Wait a moment," Sora pulls her hand from mine, walking inside a store by herself. "I think Mina asked me to check on something."
I don't want to let go of her hand. At first, I just didn't want her to be separated again because of the crowd; I was in complete panic when I realized that I lost her.
But now, I just want to hold her hand. I miss these moments: being with her, hand in hand, walking around, talking about works, and more.
I want us to last forever.
I walk in the store, looking around but still trying to hide my face. It is a music store and I don't want any fans to recognize my face, at least not now.
There she is. Sora is holding a new album from a foreign artist in her hand but now she is looking at another album: BEAST.
She has a smile on her lips, the smile which makes me feel the butterflies are dancing in my stomach. I can't fool myself that I still love her.
"Do you want that album?" I approach her, making her to flinch a little because of the surprise. "I can ask our manager to give you one."
She puts back the Shock of New Era album and turns to look at me with blushed cheeks, "No, I was only checking your albums here."
I tilt my head, looking at her cute expression. I am thinking of the way to tell her that I still want her back. But can I have her again?
"Come on," I take her hand, dragging her to the cashier. We can't stay too long or the recording will be finished soon and they will realize that both of us disappeared together.
I feel like I'm still having the backstreet relationship from public but ironically people know me as Sora's boyfriend.
We finally bought some chocolates and some merchandises around Orchard and Somerset before I told her that we must return to the recording site; two hours have passed quickly and Doojoon has told me that the recording will only take less than three hours.
The MRT station is full with the crowd. Probably people just finished their works. I embrace her hand tighter, not wanting her to be separated from me now.
We step inside but the seats are all taken so we must stand, holding on firmly so we won't fall aside. Sora leans to the door while I stand in front of her, protecting her so she will stay safe.
We are standing really close and I can't help myself from looking at her.
[Sora's POV]
I don't know that it will be this crowded. I have texted Gikwang to tell him that I'm on my way back when I suddenly realized that it means Gikwang will find out that I've been travelling around with Yoseob.
I sigh, leaning myself comfortably against the door while Yoseob is standing right in front of me.
I only spent around two hours with him but I feel something that I can't explain with words when I'm with him; I still want to be with him.
Just a little bit longer.
Suddenly I feel that Yoseob takes a step closer to me, burying his face in my hair. This gesture makes my heart to beat rapidly.
"Sora...," he murmurs my name, kissing my forehead gently. "Stay with me."
I feel that my heart stops beating for a second. My blood is rushing to my brain and I can't think of anything.
"S-stop...," I try to push him by placing my palms on his chest but I don't have any power to do it. "It's in public..."
"Do you still love me?" Yoseob wraps his left arm around my waist while his right hand is holding on the hand-grip. "Because I still love you."
His voice is only a whisper but I can hear it clearly. And I can't answer him; I can't even say a word out from my mouth.
"Close your eyes," Yoseob whispers again. "Just give me a minute."
With hesitation, I close my eyes slowly, not knowing what else to do.
I can feel he shifts his body closer to me. He lets go of the hand-grip, cupping my left cheek with his right hand.
He kissed my forehead one time before his lips reaches mine. He kisses my lips gently, the kiss that I miss, the kiss that I always love, the kiss that full of his hope for me to be back with him.
I clutch his shirt, hoping that my heart will stop beating madly like this. I think I'm going to explode if he doesn't stop.
He finally breaks the kiss after few seconds. I open my eyes, feeling that my face is definitely burning. I look at his face and he is blushing but there is a smile on his face.
"I'm sorry...," he rests his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry I wasn't everything you wanted. But I really love you."
My heart skips a beat.
Before I could say anything, the announcement that we have arrived at our destination is echoed.
[Gikwang's POV]
I quickly change my clothes and take my black knit hat, the one Sora gave to me on my birthday last year. I wear my black cardigan and my black thick-rimmed glasses, trying to disguise my face even though I think it's useless.
My recording has finished and Sora has told me that she is on her way back to here. I wonder where did she go in these two hours.
"I'll go first!" I tell Doojoon who just entered the make up room. "I'll be back with Sora!"
Without even waiting for his respond, I leave the recording site, heading to the nearest MRT station to find Sora.
I take out my phone as I walk to the MRT station. I want to update my Twitter to tell the fans that we're doing perfectly good in Singapore.
But I stop my steps when I look at the Trending Topic.
YoRaKiss
What?
I read all tweets which mentioned both Yoseob and Sora together along with a link to a picture.
"Yoseob and Sora spotted in the MRT Singapore! What a cute couple!"
With the uneasy feeling, I click the link.
A picture of Yoseob and Sora. I think it's in the MRT. This picture is definitely taken using a phone but I still can recognize their faces easily.
Yoseob is kissing Sora's forehead.
I know it looks really simple but my heart keeps aching, worse than ever. I clench my fists, trying to control my anger.
I thought Yoseob was at our hotel to take a rest. Then why is he with Sora? Why didn't Sora tell me about his presence with her?
I turn my body, taking the taxi to return to our hotel. I send a text message to Doojoon, telling him that I'm not feeling well and I want to take a rest in my room.
I don't want to see anyone now. Especially Yoseob and Sora.
My heart is bleeding.
For a moment I thought that we can stay together; me and Sora. But looks like it's always been one-sided love all the time.
I never happened to have her heart.
[Sora's POV]
Gikwang doesn't pick my call. Did something happen to him?
I look around, trying to find his figure around the MRT station but he is nowhere to be found.
"Doojoon said that he has returned to the hotel," Yoseob puts his phone back to his pocket; he just called Doojoon. "He said that he is not feeling well."
I gasp. He looked perfectly fine when I left. I quickly take my phone and send a text message to him.
"I will visit you at the hotel. Are you alright?"
"I will go back to the hotel now. Can you please tell the others?" I ask Yoseob casually, trying to keep calm even though I'm sure that I will blush again when I look at his face.
"Sure," he pats my head gently. "Be careful."
I nod and leave him alone, taking the taxi to our hotel. When I almost reach the hotel, I receive a text message from Junhyung.
"Check your Twitter."
I frown. What's wrong on Twitter? But he won't give me this kind of message if it's not important. I open my Twitter in a rush, hoping that it's not something bad.
But I'm wrong.
There are hundreds of tweets from Yoseob's fans and mine, mentioning both of us. Some of them retweeted the others with a link to a picture, talking about a fan who took the picture in the MRT, about how cute we are as a couple.
I open the picture and my heart sinks when I find it's a picture of me and Yoseob. He's kissing my forehead; I don't even know I should be grateful because it's not the picture of him kissing my lips or not.
Gikwang found out about this; that is the only reason why he returned to the hotel by himself.
I hurt his heart again. I'm really the worst.
Once the taxi arrives in front of our hotel, I pay the driver and rush to his room. I knock the door impatiently, hoping that he will open his door for me, hoping that he will let me to talk to him.
I don't know what I will say to him. I just want to talk. I don't know what to think now, honestly.
I can hear the clicked sound; Gikwang opens the door.
"Gikwang Oppa," I sigh in relief when he opens the door wider, letting me to step inside his room. I clench my fists, taking a step inside so we can talk properly.
He closes the door in silence. There is no smile on his face, the usual caring and sincere smile that he always showed to me.
"Shouldn't Yoseob be with you?"
His question pierces my heart. Yes, he knew about the picture. And his heart is breaking now because of me.
Again.
"I... The picture...," I stop.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to explain. I'm speechless.
I don't know what to say. I don't know what to explain. I'm speechless.
"Do you still love Yoseob?" he blurts out the question without any changes in his tone.
I look at his eyes. His heart is broken, totally broken. I was the one who said that he had my heart, I was the one who accepted to stay with him even though for a month.
He cared for me, he tried his best to understand me, he never forced me for anything.
And yet I keep hurting him.
"If I really have your heart," he lifts my chin with his finger slowly so our eyes can met, "can you kiss me once again?"
I blink. I stun on my stand, looking at his sad eyes. And then a tear rolls down on my cheek.
He knows what it means.
I can't kiss him. My heart doesn't let me to kiss him.
"I-I'm so sorry," I try to wipe away my tears. "I need time. I'm sorry, Gikwang Oppa... I-"
Gikwang cuts off my word with a forced smile, "I'm sorry."
He caresses my cheek with his thumb gently. He steps closer and kisses my forehead deeply, "I'm sorry for loving you with all my heart."
Gikwang breaks the kiss and takes his black cardigan, "I'm going out for a while. You can stay here and return the key to Doojoon when you want to go back to your room."
He doesn't look back at me, leaving me dumbfounded as he closes the door behind him.
I cry. Why do I keep breaking Gikwang's heart? Why do I keep hurting him when he loves me truly?
"I'm sorry...," I murmur to no one, not bothering to stop the tears. "I'm sorry."
Why is my heart betraying me?
Comments