15 Y
Bittersweet Heart
[Sora's POV]
I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my yawn. I lack sleep again last night because of my works. I know I should have managed my schedule but I guess I'm just a real workaholic.
Today I will take the flight to Japan today with BEAST. There will be crews of the variety show and staffs for the mini showcase.
"Are you alright?" Gikwang takes my luggage from me, dragging it with him. "You look tired."
"I'm fine," I try to take back my luggage but he quickly switch the grip to his other hand as he leans closer to me, giving me quick kiss on my forehead. "I'll take it for you."
I start to blush again. Lucky us that we're already on our way to the plane so there are no fans around us right now.
His fans will be enraged if they find out about my relationship with Gikwang.
Well, not an official relationship though, but I'm still counted as his girlfriend, right?
Somehow I feel like the history keeps repeating itself.
I started to stop talking at Yoseob, I was getting closer with Gikwang, his confession, our non official relationship.
All of these happened last year.
What a coincidence.
"Where is your seat?" Gikwang asks when we're already inside the plane. He stops at the second row. "My seat is here."
"Ah," I check my ticket. It's one row in front of him.
My heart almost stopped beating when I see the person who is seated next to mine.
Yoseob.
He is listening to the music from his iPod, not aware of my presence. He looks through the window, enjoying everything alone.
"Right here," Soeun, the main dancer of the soon-to-be-group with Bomi stops behind me. She bows slightly to me and puts her luggage on top of Gikwang's seat.
She will be seated next to Gikwang.
Aish, I need to switch my seat.
[Gikwang's POV]
I know Sora doesn't want to be seated next to Yoseob but fate must be playing with her if the random seats arranged them to be together.
I was thinking to ask Soeun to switch seats with Sora when a sudden thought crosses my mind.
Am I trying to part Yoseob and Sora that much? Am I trying to block their relationship, even as friends?
I can't let my selfishness engulfs my heart. Yoseob is my friend; he is almost like my own brother. How can I let myself to tore them apart as friends, as family?
After all it must be really strange for the others if Sora wants to switch her seat with someone else; she is still Yoseob's girlfriend for the public, isn't she?
"I need to talk with Soeun about the mini showcase," I smile to Sora while Soeun just took the seat next to the window. "We'll talk again later. Is it alright, Sora?"
She hesitates for seconds but then she nods slightly. I help her to put the luggage inside the cabin. I patted her head gently before she finally sits next to Yoseob.
I sit down, closing my eyes as I try to shove away the uneasy feeling in my heart. Deep inside I know Yoseob and Sora have a deep relationship.
I'm scared.
I'm afraid that Yoseob will make Sora fall for him again.
Gikwang, you're being selfish again.
You need to believe in Sora. She is the one who agreed to start a relationship with me.
She said that I have her heart now.
[Yoseob's POV]
I can feel that someone just sat next to me but I don't bother to look who it is. I keep focusing on the music, looking through the window as I wait for the plane to take off.
After around ten minutes, I turn off my iPod because the flight attendant just gave the warning to turn off all electronic devices.
I swear that my heart almost jumped out from its place when I see who is sitting next to me.
Why does Sora sit next to me?
She is looking at the other side of me; probably she does it on purpose, to avoid looking at me, to avoid talking to me.
"Yo," I manage the word to greet her. I'm so awkward.
She turns her face to look at me. Her lips force into a sad smile, "Hey."
I don't want to see that sad smile. I want to see her bright smile, the smile that I always love, the smile that always brighten up my day, the smile of my beloved one.
Silence.
"You look tired," I try to open a topic for conversation.
There are dark cicrcles under her eyes and she looks a little bit pale. Did she sleep well last night? Or she overworked again?
"Work," she murmurs vividly, looking away from me.
"Yah, you shoul-" I stop all of a sudden. Who I am to nag at her?
I sigh with frustration, knowing that I'm not her boyfriend anymore is really stressing me out.
"Sleep, will you?" I tilt my head to get her attention. "You need to sleep for a while."
She nods slightly but her eyes are still avoiding me.
Aish, this girl.
I look at the sign; I can use my electronic device again. I turn on my iPod again and try to find a ballad song.
I give the left earphone to her, "Here. Listen to the music. It will help you."
The doubt is obvious on her face but she takes it anyway. I use the right piece of the earphone and play the track.
I've been listening to this song lately because of its lyrics. And it's a beautiful yet sad song as well.
I guess music has always been my best friend through everything.
Somehow I hope she will realize that this song fits my heart right now.
[Sora's POV]
I know this song.
Y by Super Junior.
"Neol bomyeon (nan) Useumman (nawa)
Sujubeun misokkajido Yeah
Nal boneun ne nunbicheun seulpeun geol
Hoksi ibyeoreul malharyeogo hani Baby"
When I see you, I only smile
Even shy smiles, yeah
Your eyes that look at me
Are they sad and talking of goodbye, baby?
Geez. Why are the lyrics making my heart ache?
"Maeilgachi tto banbokdoel nae moseube
Neoneun geurido jichyeonneunji
Nal yongseohagenni?
Dasi hanbeon deo saenggakhae saenggakhaejullae
Ijeneun nochi anheulge"
Ijeneun nochi anheulge"
Are you tired of seeing the same person
and doing the same things every day?
Will you forgive me?
Please think about it one more time
I won't let you go now
Suddenly I feel the back of his hand touches my backhand. I flinch a little but I try to focus on the song.
"Neoreul ullin geon naega baboraseo
Neoreul bonaen geon naega bujokhaeseo neol
Jiuryeo haetdeon geureon nareul yongseohae jwo nal
Jebal dasi sumeul swil su itge"
I'm a fool to have made you cry
Letting you go was because I was lacking
Forgive me for trying to erase you
Please, so that I can breathe again
Yoseob starts to hum the song vividly. I take a glance at him; he doesn't look at me but he is obviously sing along with the song.
"Neol bomyeon (nan) nunmuri (heulleo)
Nareul baboro mandeuneun neo
Hoksirado ne mam byeonhal ttae
Doraol gire naega seo isseulge Baby"
When I see you, I cry
You make me into a fool
When you have a change of heart
I will be standing there on your way back, Baby
No, Sora, no. You're just listening to Super Junior right now. Focus!
"Junbihaetdeon ne ibyeori naegeneun jigeum jugeul geot gachi apa
Sigani jinado
Ajik neoreul bonaegien bonaegieneun hae julge neomu manheunde Yeah"
This breakup that you prepared hurts me so bad that I could die
Even after time passes
There's still so much that I have to do for you before I let you go Yeah
Aish, this song is going to drive my mind blank!
[Yoseob's POV]
I can't resist myself from singing along with the song. This song really describes my heart right now.
I don't want to let her go. I never want to. How I want her to consider us to be together again.
"Neoreul ullin geon naega baboraseo
Neoreul bonaen geon naega bujokhaeseo neol
Jiuryeo haetdeon geureon nareul yongseohae jwo nal
Jebal dasi sumeul swil su itge"
I'm a fool to have made you cry
Letting you go was because I was lacking
Forgive me for trying to erase you
Please, so that I can breathe again
Yes, I am the biggest fool in the world to have made the one I love to cry, to hurt, to suffer. For now I can still holding on because I can watch her from far, but how long can I stay like this?
"Eeodiseobuteo yaegihalkka
Eonjebuteonga mworalkka sojunghamiran geol irheogatjanha
(Mal an haedo aljanha)
Geundeyo, geudaeyeo uri hamkkeyeotdeon ilbun ilchoga Nunbusige areumdapdeon yeppeun misoga
Geuriwo ne mame kkok dakil
Nae seulpeun gidoga i bissogeul jina hoksi bol su isseulkka"
Where do I start?
Starting at some point, we lost the preciousness
(You know even if I don't say it)
But I miss each second of each minute and
Your beautiful eye, blinding smile
I hope this touches your heart
Will my sad prayer pass this rain and pass on to you?
I take a glance at Sora. She is closing her eyes, having serious expression on her face.
Is she not enjoying the song?
"Naega jigeum neomu apa
Nega tteonan jigeumi nan neomu apa
Mwoga iri himdeunji
Maeil bam nan neol saenggakhae
Harurado an hamyeon nae mami buranhan geol
Neon ani eum ani moreugetji ireon nal al riga eobtji
Neodo gakkeum nae saenggagi nandamyeon
Geu ttae neon doraomyeon dwae"
I'm so in pain right now
Because you have left, I'm so in pain
Why is it so hard?
I think about you every night
Do you know how anxious I get if I don't think about you for just one day?
You probably don't know, there's no way you will know
If you think of me once in a while
Then please come back then
I embrace her hand gently; yes, I know I shouldn't do this especially when I know that she has told me to back off, that everything is over between us.
But, please, I hope this feeling of my heart reaches your heart.
[Sora's POV]
My tears were threatening to fall when suddenly I feel his hand holds me, making me feel ease within a second.
This feeling, the feeling that only Yoseob can give to me.
Geez, Sora, think of Gikwang. Think of the one who keeps loving you all these times.
"Saranghandan mal neol hyanghae haneun mal
Bogo sipdan mal neol ango sipeun mal ojik han saram
Neoreul jikigo sipeo dasi (naege) dorawa jul neoreul wihae"
Saying I love you, saying it to you
Saying I miss you, saying I want to hug you, and only you
I want to protect you (for you) who will come back to me
When I open my eyes, I find Yoseob has fallen asleep. He rests his head to the window.
He must be really tired; he is actually more tired than me, isn't he?
I can't help myself to smile when I see his sleeping face.
Why did we argue? Why did we end up like now?
I turn off his iPod, closing my eyes as I drift away to sleep as well.
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