I've always known I'm not the smartest person who had been around Yongguk, but he had always put up with me. But right now, it hurt. I didn't want to cry, but the feeling is different, between when I dont want want to cry, and when I have to hold back the urge to cry. If he'd laugh at me one more time, with that bunch of jerks he calls his friends- even if he's drunk right now, I'm not going to take it.

"Why." I asked. "Then why am I still here?"

His smile is still as charming, but there's the edge to his deep voice that's sharp because he's being honest, and I resent it, strongly. I don't want to listen to waht he's going to tell me, because he's grinning. Just that. I used to love his smile, but right now, I dont want to see this, or listen to this. It's confusing to stand here, because I don't want the answer, but I still am anyway.

"You , okay?" He laughs. He's not mocking, I can say. He wants it to be a silly joke I can brush off later and kiss him on the couch when his friends leave our apartment, which we have shared for years by now - but I don't think I can right now. I wonder, if he had always been reading me - until today, so I try to keep my cheeks composed yet. It's hard not to choke on tears, however. I know I'd want to cry soon, and that I wouldnt have Yongguk to curl up with. 

Have we never had arguments?

"But it doesn't change the fact that you're very pretty." 

-

I've always been quite proud about my face, height and skin. I never thought there would be a day I'd hate the image the mirror would show me until I left Yongguk. And now, I only ponder of the kind of person Kim Himchan would have been, if I didn't see who I see from the mirror. If I'd punch this glass and scrape my face off my skin, or if I would mix up the battery acids on my eyes - so I'd be blind. 

Who was it that told me, that the flatterer feeds with an empty spoon? I think that was in my Highschool days. 

-

Oh my god, finally a proper drabble!