BANGLO FINALLY :D 

Note : The quotes in fire brick are of Junhongs'

Junhong is the prettiest thing I have seen in my life. He’s the boy I fell in love with. We met in a pawn shop; much to anybody’s displease. But when he first pushed up his golden ringed round glasses up his slender nose and fixed eyes with me for the brief moment his lips curled upwards to greet me behind the counter, he had my heart thumping in my throat.

“Yongguk, I’m terribly sorry.

He was just so beautiful. His curly blonde hair was neat beside its tangled state, and those yellow curls fell perfectly over his forehead that his dark brown orbs were in absolute contrast against everything that built up the boy. He was pale and milk skinned to the point his contrasting eyes had earned themselves a grant to mesmerize onlookers in just one glance casted upon them in a smile. I feel as if those eyes of his full of young youth were fated to be only his. They wouldn’t have fit anybody else in the world the way they fitted into his being. Those dark orbs were just his’ that I found myself prisoned in. Then that smile…

Whatever he found attractive about me; thank you havens. To say I was attracted would be an understatement. Everything about him was alluring me in; like a moth into the light.

It was as if he had the sun beaming behind him – as he continued to glisten beside the dull, musty background of the pawn shop. When he smiled – with his plump lips in the perfect curve; I must have grinned back like an idiot struck with love. I bet I must have made the ugliest face ever; as I know how stupid I look when all my gums start to show. But he always said to me he liked how sincere and obvious I am; so... for the moment it hadn’t matter.

As cliché as it sounds, it must have been love at first sight… for both of us.

That day; I went to the pawn shop to collect a couple of jewelries that my grandmother had pawned a good couple of years ago, and only came to mind after she had passed away. My grandparents lived in England, though I was born Korean. My mother liked to travel and she had settled with my father a good twenty three years ago, just two years before I saw light in this world.

The bills were happily settled by him and I had not helped my running mouth and had questioned if he wasn’t a bit too young to be running a pawn shop. That day; he shook his head; with his curls dangling on top – and said he was not.

Thanks to the umbrella I intentionally forgot in the shop; I got to telephone the number in the receipt, and for that life favors miracles; Junhong picked up my call. I would recognize his melodious ‘Hello’ anywhere on earth. Much to my own surprise, he recognized mine as well. He was the first to ask if I was ‘Bang Yongguk’ and after a couple of victory backflips that only occurred in my mind in silence, I had replied yes – hopefully my ugly smile unseen over the phone line. He chuckled and said he recognized me by my ‘manly’ voice – exactly his words.

I swear he’s the only person in the world that can make my cheeks burn the way they do.

When I asked him if I’ve left my umbrella – he hummed. Before I could have suggested coming and getting it again later on; he said he could bring it over if I wanted to. We agreed to meet by a coffee shop that faced the lake of the town.

I’m not even complaining about the rain that evening.

I can count the days from today when I remember his tall figure slumped to fit inside the large umbrella he had over his hair, and wrapped around a heavy coat approaching the glass door of the shop. I was seated by the glass of the coffee shop in the furthermost corners’ table, and his searching eyes made me gulp down a ball of tingly feelings right into my heart.
When we met eyes and he smiled, a crazy dance of butterflies in my lower stomach started to erupt. It brought out yet another cheesy smile of mine, and no matter how much I try to suppress it in, Junhongs’ smile brought out my own in an accord as if it was given to be that way.

Despite the cold weather; his eyes were just as bright. When he sat right in front of me, I’m sure it was just out of instinct I pulled off his glasses off his nose which held onto a couple of neat droplets of water that I cleaned off on my sleeve. I meant to push the glasses back on, but he stared at me in a skeptical expression and reddening cheeks that I remember placing the said item on his palm instead. My actions had spoken louder than words and thinking back to the day even right now makes my face fluster.

“I didn’t know I was sick either. Just a few weeks ago Himchan found out – I’m so sorry Yongguk. I spent a lot of time alone thinking if I should tell you.

Buying him a hot cup of coffee the two of us settled into a shy conversation and it had been the most comfortable awkwardness of all times.
Looking back now; I still think it’s not that cliché to learn each other’s pedigree first – even if it’s done as painfully slow as we did that evening. As he said to me about his runway mother and his granddad that had raised him up; now ill because of leukemia, he mostly stared out of the glass into the lake downhill over the street. It was only when he said that I noticed the ballade of raindrops on the lake water.

The rain only appealed me when Junhong was next to me, his eyes fixed on the dancing droplets of water.
It’s just that he himself never realized how great of a piece of art he himself was.
It took me a great deal of unbearably slow flowing days and a great deal of meetings to say it to him, but before the rain season had passed – he had smiled gratefully at my predictable confession and muttered to me he likes me as well, with his usually pale cheeks painted a rosy red. I was most comfortable with both my mind and heart at rest when Junhong didn’t mind wrapping his arms around my waist and didn’t mind my nose buried in his blonde curls. His fluffy hair always smelt of cherries and a faint trace of the earthly rain. It filled my lungs and put me at ease that I would dare spend my entire life burying myself in his scent.

First, the times we had to twine our fingers and share a couple of kisses were short and brief. As if inevitable it is to keep the flame off a burning candle; the two of us met and met.

“I know you have much as of right I have of my own life; but I only had a couple of sunrises ahead of me. Forgive me for being selfish, Yongguk.

A couple of weeks later when we both weren’t ready to accept we would ever part; his granddad came down with the worst stage of his illness and passed away before the two of us were ready to face him as lovers. He grieved less and settled all business and closed the shop in a matter of three weeks. We moved onto a new house together and filled each other’s loneliness with one another. It was heartwarming at any time to curl my hands on his slender waist and place a kiss on his forehead, cheeks or lips. Those moments full of bliss made me think Junhong was all I ever wanted at all.

Then it became a given to love him. To love how he kissed me awake every morning and made a mess out of breakfast without fail and let him chose what I have to wear for work. He himself would follow me to the ‘Collectibles’ shop my grandparents passed on to me with their death. I had left Korea to settle down here just months ago then.  It wasn’t as if our small shop had customers swarming in it, but then; it was peaceful and brought along many customers that loved to explore and fall into a hearty conversation with.  I start to understand from where my mother gained so much courage to travel the world by just sitting here in my table and watching Junhong turn his eyes wide on one thing or another he can find on top of a random shelf of the shop.

We didn’t have much; but we were happy with each other.

Then the evening came to us, Junhong closing all the windows and me checking all the books and finish summing up the earning for the day. He’d lean against the bricks over street before me and wait for me to close the doors by flipping the signboard close. He smiles with his hands in his pockets, inviting me to go home with him with just the inviting smile on his lips. I would gladly oblige.

We didn’t live in amongst a sophisticated neighborhood; and unless for the couple of friends we had to share a cup of coffee with; we hardly had any contacts in the world. But we still had each other and we cherished our existence to the core.

“For Jongup, please summon your courage and confess. It would be my last request from you. Live and love; for it’s the purpose of life.
Daehyun, Youngjae… live well.
Thank you, Himchan-hyung; for being a friend in need. Other than the five of you; I’ve hardly loved anything dearly in my life.

On Saturdays, Junhong would pack a backpack that included a couple of clothes and a bottle of water. We had a bit of cash to spend about, and where his head turned he tugged me on. We’d mostly ride a train by a ticket Junhong decided on by asking me to pick a finger, and he made sure to turn me into a part of all the adventures he had.

The living room of our house was far too small to be even called one; but it was filled with framed pictures of the two of practically everywhere in England, summer, winter and fall – everywhere just standing by each other’s’ side – me in my gummy smile Junhong doesn’t let me hide; and him in his own, that always held no boundaries.

But there were always those weekends he wouldn’t pack his bag, and he wouldn’t pack mine. In my perspective, these were the best.

Junhong would sit with his glossy brown eyes looking onto mine, purring – almost; when I’d reach out to comb his hair. He’d lay his forehead on my shoulder and mutter to me how much he loves me, and would ask me to hold him tonight.

“It would be foolish of me not to say good bye beforehand when I can from you. There’s so many ‘thank yous’ I have to offer you, my dearest Yongguk. You’re the one who brought to me a new life, and showered me with love to the last bit of my life. You’re a wonderful person, Yongguk. Let no one say otherwise. I’ve loved you with every bit of my heart, dear. Death comes as inevitable and your tears on my grave would not put my heart in ease. Even if I’ve lived longer, I wouldn’t have been able to show you more love, Yongguk. I’m not carrying regrets in my shoulders when I would someday leave, for that; do not weep.
You’re strong, Yonggukie.

I swear, that he’s the only thing that can make me feel the way I do when I look into his eyes.

Is it always like this, to feel my chest swell up in pride and content when I simply see him stand next to me in equal? If this was not how the others had felt love, then I doubt love from the very existence itself. Love, came with a Pandora of never ending questions and answers that never fit in; but to me, love had been as simple as Junhong.

Simple as the unspoken words I can read in his eyes; simple as the smile that adorned his lips, and the warmth of him that would wrap around me.

Junhong hadn’t just been love to me. Junhong had been life to me, had turned to be the air I breathe before I ever noticed him turning into everything I truly had in my life.

One day, he was sleeping like he usually would right beside me, with the duvet covering him up to his nose, only his curly hair visible against the white pillows he arranged last night. A smile came onto my lips at the sight before I stretched a bit and left the bed to brush my teeth. It was a Tuesday, about seven thirty in the morning when I had poured him his cup of tea and walked in to wake him up from his peaceful slumber thinking of the kind of mess he can make out of breakfast today.

But alas, when the sheets over his body were dragged down; there was no more Junhong to protest to me how cold he was. His pale cheeks and slightly agape lips brought me to nothing, and my world only crashed when I realized how cold his body was. My kisses weren’t replied and I felt not his warm breath fanning against my cheeks.

Lastly, Yongguk. Please water the daises daily.”

Oh he was so young….

Everything that built him were still perfectly in place, my lord.

It was only for a while they let me bend over the velvets Junhong lied on and weep. His curls still smelt of cherries, and his closed eyes were steady as if he would open them if only I would cry harder. Junhongs slender fingers were stuffed in gloves and crisscrossed over his still abdomen. If only they would have allowed me to remove those gloves, he would be twining his fingers on my own.

The courageous smile that adorned his immobile lips only dared me to bend over and kiss them, as if they would kiss me back if I did so.

But Junhong wasn’t in Junhong anymore.

When I had to close the coffin, the skeptical expression on his face reminded me of the first he made for me, when I wiped his glasses off of raindrops – as if he wanted to ask me why I was doing this.

The way my heart clenched around the fist of first earth that was to bury him and the way my lips brought me the salt of my tears to my senses were cuts that were deep enough to last in afterlife... it must have been a part of everyones' life.

Every day when I place a daisy beside his tombstone, I would be reminded of how beautiful and young he looked just before he was placed underneath.

I lived a couple of days drowned in the scent of Junhong in the pillow next to mine. Then; I packed myself a bag, and left to wherever my head turned me to. I meant to travel, but when I stood before the ticket counter…

…there was no more Junhong to pick a destination out of the fingers I held. I remember scoffing at the face of the lady behind the counter when she asked me where I wanted a ticket to. When I answered ‘I can’t choose’; she turned red in anger and asked me to step aside without holding the queue.

I went back home.

“Yongguk, I’m terribly sorry.
I didn’t know I was sick either. Just a few weeks ago Himchan found out – I’m so sorry Yongguk. I spent a lot of time alone thinking if I should tell you.
I know you have much as of right I have of my own life; but I only had a couple of sunrises ahead of me. Forgive me for being selfish, Yongguk.
It would be foolish of me not to say good bye beforehand when I can from you. There’s so many ‘thank yous’ I have to offer you, my dearest Yongguk. You’re the one who brought to me a new life, and showered me with love to the last bit of my life. You’re a wonderful person, Yongguk. Let no one say otherwise. I’ve loved you with every bit of my heart, dear. Death comes as inevitable and your tears on my grave would not put my heart in ease. Even if I’ve lived longer, I wouldn’t have been able to show you more love, Yongguk. I’m not carrying regrets in my shoulders when I would someday leave, for that; do not weep.
You’re strong, Yonggukie.

For Jongup, please summon your courage and confess. It would be my last request from you. Live and love; for it’s the purpose of life.
Daehyun, Youngjae… live well.
Thank you, Himchan-hyung; for being a friend in need. Other than the five of you; I’ve hardly loved anything dearly in my life.

Lastly, Yongguk. Please water the daises daily.
 

-Junhong”

[A/N: Actually i expected it to turn into like 4k words but that's a wrap at 2k.

"La follia" genrally refers to a melody. The reson I named the story 'La follia' was because that this pecuilar call of European musical theme was used much by many composers... Ur, because everyone dies. The story did relate to a lot of deaths, including Yongguks grandparents and Junhongs farther, so - you should have seen Junhongs death comming. It's the way of a writers warning. 
Junhongs father died of leukamia so, it should point you to somwhere about Junhongs sickness. 
The moral I guess, is first, to love and second, to learn to let go. 
These are two tasks theorically impossible to be done at once; but is something all men has to go through as a part of their life. It's why I named it "The La follia of me".
Junhong's death isn't a waste, so - Don't be sad, dear subbies. :) Do leave me pleanty of comments though! If you'd want to read this story again after a couple of months, it would be in "Symphony ft. BAP" where I shift all my oneshots to. Do read more from me! :D ]