First, he raised a brow. It wasn’t because he was surprised, but was mostly because he was impressed. ‘To Kim Himchan’; said the plain white envelop he had in his hand, which was dropped there by the most silent kid in the high-school, Bang Yongguk.

It wasn’t really the first day Himchan had made eye contact with Bang Yongguk to figure out he had an odd sense of fashion and an even weirder sense of wording conversations, but it was today he realized the silent music lover might actually be a little bit better than what he bothered to give credit for.

Nobody dared to approach him.

Especially not quiet kids like Yongguk.

***

Yongguk; just a couple of good hours before the mentioned evening came up – was against the wall of the subway; his eyes closed – nodding and muttering to himself lowly the lyrics of the song that went repeat in his headphones. His train was five minutes away, and thanks to how late he had got spending time doing nothing but wondering around the town, the train station was empty.

He refused to cut the music off when the train decided to slide into his ears beside his closed eyes.

It might look as if he was just spending his day like he usually would; but reality was, that his mind was in chaos and he strictly refused to let himself see what kind of mess he is. Finally, when he was slightly turning too used with the song, he pressed the shuffle button of his phone. It quickly swapped into a song he didn’t really think would fall crashing on his head like it suddenly did.

It wasn’t exactly the song that crashed on him.

It was the way that Himchan moved to it that shattered his reluctance to grasp his own bit of rationality.

***

It wasn’t really a big day – at least on Yongguks side. His cousin brother just transferred into his school; and to be absolutely honest with himself, he found the fact a little itchy to his comfortable zone. Junhong was a nice kid with a great sense of fashion, music and dance; that the rest of the package that came with him was fun. It’s just that Yongguk found Junhong extremely clingy that he couldn’t feel perfectly comfortable with the teenager. He also didn’t act his age sometimes – but Yongguk finds it unfair to lecture anybody.

It was just after term end exams that Junhong decided to mourn over how Yongguk-hyung was no fun and wouldn’t help him sneak into this club he very badly wanted to visit. He just didn’t want to look uncool – which he quite actually is; but at least not in front of Junhong who sort of admired him – and decided to the boy. Also; he didn’t want to leave him alone with his ridiculous bunch of friends.

Yongguk regretted nothing.

Of course; it wasn’t out of anybodies train of thought to not expect the kingka Kim Himchan to be in the middle of the dance floor, but Yongguk was caught unprepared.

Honestly; until that very evening, Yongguk had hardly had an eye. If his mother was questioned she would probably say Yongguk was just ears and gums. But Himchan caught his breath that night.

God he looked so gorgeous with the colors fawning on him and his slender hips swaying in the upbeat music. For the moment; it hadn’t even matter that he had a girl dancing with him going all oogely eyes because Himchan obviously shined her off.

‘Crazy to think like that, huh?’ and then there came Yongguks y self-speaking part of his mind. It never seems to agree on things.

‘Trust me.’ Yongguk warned his conscience. ‘If you ever saw how y he was that night, with his smile and all, you’d be as just as crazy as I am.’

The music went perfectly with how his feet moved, and Yongguk would swear he had his lips agape, thinking how in the world it was possible for Himchan to have such bright twinkles in his eyes. Was it just him or had his lips always been so plump and kissable?

If he ever told his mother; she would figure out why Yongguk never really went through any stable relationships. He was gay, obviously. Or at least in an odd way gay for Kim Himchan; maybe.

***

A couple of weeks after that, Yongguk actually spend a bit of time off his headphones and his eyes open. Himchan – for some miraculous reason had his seat right next to him the back of the class. Yongguk thinks the only time they ever spoke to each other was the first day of school, when Himchan was late and he raged out yelling he wants the seat by the window.

Yongguk wasn’t bothered then. He just clicked his tongue and moved his seat. Himchan wanted the corner because he had his feet in the chair in front of him (mostly the backpack of the student to his front) and drops his head to his shoulder and falls asleep during all classes.

No wonder he needs to sleep in class, he’s partying every evening.

Then; of course – came the confessions.

Of course, nobody really dared to approach him directly. First off; he was very rude. Once Yongguk saw a girl – who actually looked cute and adorable; crying and sniffling while Himchan had an extremely impolite finger pointed at her in a mocking laugh. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”

Nobody wanted that sort of reaction, so it was very reasonable that most of the confessions were written. But the fate of them were even sadder. Himchan didn’t just throw them in the dustbin.

He ripped every single of the letters under his table every morning, piece by piece, muttering how he hated cowards.

And of course; nobody really knew what kind of a person Himchan liked. The most probable theory is that Himchan never really bothered himself to think of an ideal type because he’s the one picking here – obviously. What he wants he gets.

***

Yongguk sighed deeply onto the blank sheet of paper ahead of his table, wondering what in the world to ever write. What would Kim Himchan ever be pleased with? I bet the said person himself has no idea.

It’s the reason Yongguk spends a lot of time outside his room these days. He actually paused trying to write his own lyrics because the fact that his mind is like an dusty garage thinking of ways to even approach Himchan was rubbing onto everything else he was trying to do.

If he writes a letter and leaves it under his desk, he’d rip it without reading it.

If he decides to walk up to him and confess, he’d probably bury Yongguks head in the school ground.

 No wonder his mind is in chaos. What that was turning more obvious to him was that he really needs to realize Himchan was off limits, and that he wouldn’t learn it unless Himchan would slam it on his face. If that’s how he has to learn, then that’s how he’s going to.

As time passed, his form of desperation turned out to be yearning a way to get over the tingly feelings in his stomach whenever he sees the boy with those absolutely gorgeous raven eyes. When he finally decided to sit down and write his feelings to get it over with; it wasn’t primarily his intention to impress the said boy.

He just wanted to get over his little crush that is not fading away like he expected it to. He started with a deep breath.

***

I kiss love.

When or why, don’t ask; I don’t know.
But once I did;
when music blended with you.

The twinkle in your eyes, have you noticed?
touched me.
You’re beautiful;
you know…

Irk!
 …please not.
For I’ve only kissed love.

Will you kiss with me…
…these strange feelings?

-BYG.
Ps. I’ll stand outside.

***

First, he raised a brow. It wasn’t because he was surprised, but was mostly because he was impressed. ‘To Kim Himchan’; said the plain white envelop he had in his hand, which was dropped there by the most silent kid in the high-school, Bang Yongguk.

It wasn’t really the first day Himchan had made eye contact with Bang Yongguk to figure out he had an odd sense of fashion and an even weirder sense of wording conversations, but it was today he realized the silent music lover might actually be a little bit better than what he bothered to give credit for.

Nobody dared to approach him.

Especially not quiet kids like Yongguk.

**

“Yongguk, isn’t it?” Himchan asked, smiling.

The boy nodded, shoulders against the classroom doorframe, shifting on his feet quite uncomfortably. It felt as if butterflies suddenly thought it would be nice to flutter against Yongguks ears, as he clearly started to filter out a constant thumping. It must have been his heart, he thought – as he watched Himchan hold the envelop he passed over a matter of minutes ago.

Though it was a given to be turned down, Himchans’ smile said otherwise and Yongguk saw expectations in the pink clouds accompanying the sunset ahead of him. This was all too much to take from a window of a school hallway.

Himchan was tall, almost in equal levels with Yongguks eyes, never dropping the gaze. He kept his smile constant, and flutter did the colorful butterflies in Yongguks ears.

Himchan chuckled, making way for conversation. “You watched me dance?” he asked, quite casually – but Yongguk nervously gulping down a lump nevertheless. He nodded. “Last Friday.” He said.

“Was I y?”

The question clearly caught Yongguk off guard, making the boy blush – much to his embarrassment. To nod or not, he himself wasn’t so sure. Then again, there was that smirk in Himchans lips, making him wonder if the other wanted to know an answer at all. But he nods. “Very.”

It wasn’t an attempt to flirt, but it came out that way, and taking that Himchan chuckled, Yongguk thinks that was okay.

“Nice poem.”

…. “….Thanks….; I guess.” Yongguk says after a while, wondering what Himchan meant. Maybe it was good approach but wasn’t really his choice after all…?

“Hm.” Himchan too, hummed, his smile thinning out a little as he did so. His eyes were still fixed on Yongguks, searching for things Yongguk apparently had no clue of.

Time passed, quite frozen with Himchan staring into Yongguk soul, before Yongguk cleared his throat. “Er, so…”; and that called back for Himchans’ smile, turning Yongguk into a silent vegetable again.

“I guess I’d like to give it a try, after all.” He says, continuing his grin.

“Huh?”

“The kissing, remember?” He chuckled, hands daringly on Yongguk shoulders, pushing him flat against the cement, lips against Yongguks – whose wide eyes slowly closed; his mind giving into the warmth.

**

Yongguk was now, comfortably lying on the slightly muddy grass – not to mind as he was anyway quite a work of mud having to plant all the flowers plantains that Himchan had ordered yesterday on the lawn, as he insisted that their garden had to have at least some color in it. Yongguk rolled his eyes though; since the man who said so is now busy at work, leaving all the hard work to Yongguk.

He turns his head to the window of the house, looking through to catch a glimpse of the clock on the wall; a little surprised to find the time so late in the evening – because Himchan would be coming home any minute now.

Just then, the gate creaks, and the man Yongguk had been expecting walks in, dressed in a white shirt, black slacks and eyes fixed on his cell phone. Yongguk scoffs at how the younger just walks in without sparing a glance outside his screen, and isn’t hesitant to pull his leg (literally) when he walks past Yongguk to the door.

“Ya!” Himchan yelps, losing his balance. However, there’s Yongguks stomach to break his fall, making the older groan.

“I keep telling you to keep that phone away from your face.” Yongguk grumbles, Himchan only chuckling in reply. “Sorries.” He offers, getting himself seated next to Yongguk. “You planted the flowers!” he exclaims happily, making Yongguk grin in return.

Himchans’ the one to find Yongguk fingers to twine his fingers on, only to later put out his tongue out at the amount of mud Yongguk had between his fingers. Yongguk refuses to let go, tightening his grip. “Hold up a bit.”

Himchan rolls his eyes, but obliges anyway.

It’s comfortable, which probably is what anyone would expect out of a lover, as Yongguk waited, eyeing the line of short plantains, only one out of the eight bearing a small purple flower.

“You know, it’s been a while; but I always wanted to ask…” Suddenly Yongguk speaks; breaking the silence. “I always thought it was a bit too much for you to kiss me straight away after the confession.” He chuckles at how Himchan pouts.

“Was it bad?; it was my first kiss after all.” He shrugs.

Yongguk laughs, shaking his head.

“No, I’m just wondering. Why’d you do that suddenly?”

Himchan rolles his eyes, sighing. “Why, You should remember Guk. Your poem.” He explain, which much rather sounds like a riddle to Yongguk; still. “Huh?” Himchan hits Yongguks shoulder playfully, expressing his frustration.

“Will you kiss with me, these strange feelings…?” Himchan quotes dramatically, a hand on his chest. He chuckles afterwards. “I thought I should.” Yongguk first stares at Himchan; unable to comprehend – and then starts to laugh his head off.

“that was metaphoric, hat!” he keeps laughing as he says, almost hitting Himchans knee as he kept venting off his laughter on the lawn. Himchan first frowns, but later – having to see Yongguk enjoy himself with all his gums out, he too joins later on.

“But it’s great though; that you still remember it.” He adds, when the laughter slowly thins out. Himchan smiles. “Yeah.” He too agrees. “I don’t remember a single other confession.” He says, rather proudly – as Yongguk sees in Himchans eyes.

Himchan turns slightly red at having to speak  his mind without much thought, clears his throat and stands up. “Take a bath.” He commands, as he turns on his heel to leave.

“Wait up, me too!” Yongguk soon shuffles in along Himchan to their house as well.

AN:

Well; let's see how Trin might come up with a possible Alternative ending over "here"