I should have felt afraid and sad and miserable, but the only thing I have inside me was anger.

                I’m angry that Luhan does things without me knowing. I’m angry that the headmaster makes him do missions that could get him killed. I’m infuriated that this is not even the first time he’s going out to find the enemy’s lair. All this time he’s been doing it, and I just can’t contain the rage knowing that he’s been putting his life on line because of me.

                And not just that, I’m just so mad, so mad knowing that the reason he’s doing it is all because of some stupid mark on his collarbone that makes him my slave.

                “Mi Yeon…” I heard Chanyeol speak, but it felt like the sound’s coming from a hundred miles away. “Are you okay?”

                I turned my head to him but I’m not exactly looking. I was so concentrated on my thoughts and on the boiling feeling raging inside me that I couldn’t even focus on what my eyes were taking in.

                “No,” I finally let out. Putting both of my hands on the table, I stood up indignantly so that it actually shook the table.

                Everyone suddenly looked at me. I watched as their faces turned to surprise then to questioning then to concern. Only Kai and Sehun looked unfazed. In fact, Kai’s expression looked like it want to question what the dumb thing I’m doing. Sehun, on the other hand, looked like he’s waiting for me to take action, probably barge in the headmaster’s office or stupidly come after Luhan. However, I was not up for any of that.

                “I need some fresh air, ” I declared,  perfectly aware that I already put on my expressionless face.

                Right after I said that, I walked out of the cafeteria, not even turning one eye back. I know it’s very immature and inconsiderate when I should be impressing them so I can gain more of their trust, but I cannot pretend and I don’t know how long I could contain this feeling that seems to consume me every single tick of the clock. I just needed to go, and calm myself. I’m just going to apologize to them tomorrow. Hopefully, that will work.

                I kept on walking with no direction in mind. I did not go back to the classroom because I didn’t want to have any encounters with students or perhaps teachers who would just treat me like I’m such an extraordinary human being. I don’t want to be a person everyone will look up to. I don’t want the attention. I just want to be me the way I know myself, even if it's just for one stolen moment. Is that too hard to ask?

                Frustrated, I crouched down on green grass. I didn’t even know why I went to this clearing, the one where I saw Kai’s duire first. But the place made me feel safe, concealed from unwanted eyes.

                I didn’t know how long I’ve been crouching outside. I’m not even sure if the bell already rang. All I know is minutes after I settled on the ground, I found myself playing with the grass, pulling and throwing bits of it, eventhough it's definitely cruelty to nature.

                “You know,” someone spoke from behind. “You’re the sulkiest person I’ve ever met.”

                I turned my head only to see Kai looking down at me with both of his hands on his pockets.

                “Go away,” I told him and continued plucking the grass in front of me.

                “Last time I checked,” he said, crouching down beside me. “This is my place.”

                “Oh I didn’t know this territory is marked with your name,” I said sarcastically.

                 Kai shook his head and muttered under his breath, “Girls…”

                “People don't need to hit me with double standards, ” I snapped, looking at him.

                “I don’t understand why some people like to overthink,” he said, staring back at me. He then propped his elbow up on his knee and used his wrist to support his jaw which was slightly turned so he can look at me comfortably. “But people like you should stop thinking like the world revolves around you. Maybe you should understand that sometimes, people also do things for themselves.”

                “What are you even saying?”

                “I’m saying…” he said, enunciating every word like he’s talking to someone mentally incapacitated. “That all have minds of their own.”

                I sighed exasperatedly. “I don’t get you at all.”

                Suddenly he took out his right hand and before I could know what he’s doing, he flicked my head hard. And when I say hard, duirean hard. I felt like I hit my head on the door for real.

                “Yah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed at him. I didn’t even care how ugly my face looked right at that moment. All I could think of was the lingering sensation the flick caused to my forehead.

                “I just thought I could make your brain process a little bit faster,” he said coolly, like he thought he didn’t do anything wrong. Then, he stood up so I was looking up at him again. “Seijira’s chosen or not, you’re still a turtle head.”

                Then, Kai started walking away. I can’t believe how he can always say harsh things to me. He doesn’t even treat me like he should be protecting me.

                I grabbed a stone near me and then stood up myself. I threw it hard and fortunately it hit his head. He turned back at me and I could see disbelief in his normally serious eyes.

                I walked closer to him and said, “Seijira’s chosen or not, I know how to hurt someone physically, at least.”

                And then I walked ahead of him like I just proved my point well.

                That night, the one on guard duty was Kyungsoo. It made me feel a little bit calmer although the dread that I’m feeling still lingered somewhere in me. Then again, the panic that was supposed to register in my chest ever since lunch only started to settle in. Is Luhan alright? Is he back at school yet?

                This concern made me frustrated all over again.

                I tried to bury it in my sleep but then I saw Ji Hye again in my head. I don’t know what’s happening but the horrors of the past months were hunting me harder. This is not supposed to happen, she’s not even around to set fear in me again. Or is she?

                I couldn’t sleep at all. The feeling that I’m being watched kept on getting in my head. So, I stood up and opened the door. Kyungsoo was a little surprised that I’m still up but he let me sit beside him on the floor.

                “I’m sorry,” I told him. “About earlier.”

                “I don’t really mind,” he said, shrugging. “But were you worried about something?”

                We were sitting almost side by side but we’re not looking at each other. Somehow, it’s more comfortable, just knowing that someone’s listening. I could tell Kyungsoo liked it better this way too. He’s not one to talk with another eye-to-eye.

                “I just don’t understand a lot of things,” I admitted, looking down. “…and I’m supposed to be the chosen.”

                “You’re setting standards for yourself,” Kyungsoo said. “You shouldn’t do