Luhan was gone again the next day.

                It particularly came as a shock to me because it had really been a while since he was last away. For some reason, I felt even more tense and bare and simply, unprotected. Up until now, I wasn’t even aware how much I was relying on his presence. Somehow, it is even sadder to think that he went away just when nothing had been settled between the two of us. How could he just leave like that without a word? Is it really not that important for him? Am I the only one thinking that he owes me an explanation, or even just a goodbye after what happened yesterday? 

               I felt gloomy. Gloomier than ever and that’s not even to mention that I’m already shaken up since this morning. It’s been dragging on for so long, these nightmares. And every time, it gets worse and worse. Before, I only kept seeing black blurs and repetitions of the incident. But just this day, though the knives were still there, it became an altogether different scenario. This time, as the knives went flying towards me and as I watch myself close my eyes in preparation to feel the pain that will pierce my shoulders once again, someone else suddenly jumped in front of me and got hit instead. That nightmare was so clear that I even thought I really felt the person’s hand shove me in the arm. It was just like a vision. You can’t imagine all the blood that was there. Red. Deep, dark red. I watched as the person who saved me fall to the ground, lifeless with all the knives stuck on his chest. For a wild moment, I thought it was Luhan but it was much much worst than that. It was even worst than watching myself die. I only listened as his breath completely transformed to one long, deafening silence. I watched as the blood finally stopped pouring out. I watched, watched my father die in front of me for the first time.

                A cold shiver went down my spine. I’ve never dreamt of my father before. Not once. Probably because I'm not even really familiar with his face to start with. However this time, as that man appeared in my dreams, I just knew it was him. There was this weird connection, like a string of electric cord that kept fluctuating, letting me know that we are, in every possible way, attached. Even that feeling seemed real. Like for once, I knew I have a father. Like, I’ve been given a flash of hope, but it was cut immediately as soon as it came. It was mad. It was bizarre. In fact, it was all so mind-boggling to find as soon as I've woken up that I was crying so hard. It even took a while for me to open my eyes completely. That feeling of pure sadness stuck in my head since that morning and I still am spaced out and acting like a zombie. I don’t know and I don’t understand. It’s just plain abnormal to start crying about someone who’s already long gone, someone you don’t even got the chance to know personally. Plus, I just don’t know where that dream came from. It was absurd beyond extent. My father did not die for me. He did not die to protect me and my mother. He died for the president.

                So what am I going on about? Thinking that he cared for me even just before he met his demise.

                I shivered. Cold. Every day, it’s getting colder and colder, but still, there’s no snow. And I doubt it will come pouring out any sooner. I looked up at the sky slowly, but just doing it made me tired and worn-out. Everywhere I gaze, it’s dark and completely bare of any living thing. Again, this added up to my list of not-so-happy things. The sky is my favorite thing in the universe and now, it doesn’t appear in the slightest bit encouraging. Surely, this is not one of my perfect days.

                It was almost time for P.E. Class. I walked to my locker with a frown on my face, thinking of how to possibly speed the time. I was spacing out all the way, even when I finally shut the door close after getting my P.E. uniform. I was just going on my way to the bathroom to change when out of a sudden, my bubble popped and I could hear angry voices from not so far away.

                “What’s with your skin, b*tch? Are you a ghost or something?” I heard a screechy voice say.

                As always, curiosity got the best of me. I went around the corner, as slowly and as silently as I can so my shoes could not even make the tiniest squeak. I peeked and was surprised by what I saw. There was Ji Hye, standing with her back almost touching the wall, and she was surrounded by three other girls who I definitely know. They are Luhan’s fan girls fr