~Hyukjae~

Donghae shyly slipped his blazer down as he let two foreign hands casually touch him. Those hands belonged to a girl from the art club and she seemed to be enjoying her time feeling up his body with a measuring tape. An unpleasant anger boiled in my stomach. I had no choice but to watch in politeness from afar. It was her job to measure his body so that she could tailor the costumes and unfortunately I was next. What bothered me the most was that Donghae looked comfortable with her scrutinizing his body like it was nothing. He didn’t look the slightest discomforted or embarrassed.

“Let’s change Gaston’s perspective of Beau. Instead of viewing Beau as a man that shouldn’t think and read, how about he sees him as more of a woman rather than a man in general.”

“Why?” I asked.

Siwon shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe Beau is as attractive as a woman? And that way there is still conflict.”

I stared blankly at him.

“Hey, I’m just giving ideas here. We don’t have to add it into the script if you don’t like it.”

I sighed and lazily directed my eyesight back towards Donghae again. Tsk. She was still taking her sweet time, touching him. There was no other choice though, since there isn’t a costume around for a male Belle, so his clothes needed to be handmade. Thankfully, some of the art club members volunteered to help with the set and costumes which was very relieving, as did a few of the top choir members that wanted to help coach our vocal abilities. This musical was going to need all the help it can get since two month is all we get to pull this off. Personally, I’m not too familiar with plays, but now that I’ve gotten the chance to experience what it’s like, I might as well learn as much as I can from it. Oh, and spend as much time as possible with Donghae too. Two month of preparations means two months of me and Donghae getting to be together constantly again. Just like the skit assignment, except this is much more important and pressuring.

Donghae walked off the stage as the girl finally finished. His face looked like he was spacing out or much rather he was watching something. I couldn’t tell what though. The way he was focusing so intently on something looked suspicious. He then began to head towards the exit that led into the hallway. Why was he leaving?

I stood up.

“Hyukjae, are you even listening?” Said Siwon.

“Huh? Yeah. I like that idea. While you’re at it, add a crossdresser in. I don’t know – do what you want. I’ll be right back.”

“Hey–” He called, but stopped to think about it. “That might not be a bad idea.” He muttered under his breath. Siwon flipped some pages and began to jot down some ideas. Meanwhile, I hastily followed after Donghae.

“Hyukjae!” The art club girl shouted. “Let me take your measurements!”

Crap…

“I-I’m on a break right now! Sorry! I’ll be back though!” And with that, I rushed out not waiting for her reply. When I got out into the halls, it was pretty much empty. Where did he go? He disappeared so fast… I looked from side to side, choosing which possible way he could’ve taken. Maybe he went to the bathroom. Well that settles it, the bathroom it is. I needed to pee anyway or release whatever was left since I went twice during rehearsal from intense hydration.

As I walked, I pretty much figured out that I was hopelessly searching without a clue where he had gone. I had lost him right when he left the auditorium. There wasn't any evidence that he even need to go take a leak. Where could he have gone? My little searching trip ended when I got to the bathroom which was too soon. I shrugged and just entered. After letting out my load and not to mention washing my hands, my body tensed when I started to hear footfalls nearby. However, it wasn’t from the sound of footsteps that made me freeze, but the voice of a certain someone that accompanied it. “Jessica!” that person yelled. It came from outside. Luckily, I hadn’t walked out yet. There was no mistake. That was Donghae’s voice.

“Jessica…” He said again, panting. They seem to be near each other now. I was hoping for them to pass by, but their presences seemed to remain directly outside the boys’ bathroom. Damn this inconvenient spot… I stood there waiting for any chance that they’d leave.

“H-How have you been?” He asked. Is he nervous? Sounds like it. What for?

“Uhhhh, Good. What is it, Donghae?” She said. She sounded totally calm, but impatient.

Y’know, it was times like this I wished I had superpowers like x-ray vision or invisibility, just so I can see what’s going on without people noticing. I swear it isn’t for erted purposes, unless we’re talking about Donghae then that would be the only exception. I could look at his all day, not that I already don’t. I’m surprised he still hasn’t noticed.

“I just–Well you know… Why did you give up the role for Belle?”

I leaned towards the door to listen closer, but I couldn’t hear a single movement or word. There was an incredibly long silence. It must have been awkward. Even I felt it.

“No reason…” She responded. It took her way too long to just say two words.

“Was it the pressure? You know you could’ve swapped roles with other people.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to.”

“Why backstage then?”

“Because–”

“Oi! Jessica!” Someone else shouted. It was a male, with quite a deep voice too. His footsteps were quick, and they were growing louder. “Jessica, where’ve you been? The backstage crew needs you.”

“K-Kris, what are you doing here? Did you come to get me?”

Kris? Who the hell is Kris?

“Of course, I was getting bored working by myself.”

“You were bored? I thought everyone else needed me?” She giggled.

“Them too, but I need you more.” His tone was soft and gentle towards her. There was something going on with that voice of his and it changed when he spoke to Donghae. He asked who he was.

“I’m Donghae. I’m her–”

“Friend.” She finished for him. “He’s my friend. We were just talking.”

“Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt?” He introduced himself. "I'm Kris. I auditioned for a part as the cast, but I lost to Hyukjae for the role, Beast. So now I'm part of the backstage crew. It's nice yo meet y–"

“Oh-kay! See you around, Donghae!”

"Jessica!" He called.

She hastily left. The sound of her running told me otherwise. I assumed she took that guy, Kris, with her too. Seriously, who the hell was he? I gave it a minute and straightened myself before pulling the door open. Unexpectedly it opened before I even got to touch it. It banged my head and I staggered backwards as my face throbbed.

“Hyukjae?!” Donghae gasped, asking if I was okay. He then turned stiff all of a sudden. “W-Were you standing here the whole time?”

“Uh, kinda…” I rubbed my forehead, apologizing. He sighed and went to a urinal and did his business.

“How much did you hear?”

“Pretty much everything–I didn’t mean to though. I didn’t want to open the door and interrupt your moment.”

“It doesn’t really matter. Talking to her wasn’t worth it in the end.” He was obviously thinking about something upsetting him and probably not going to tell me what it was like always.

“It seems she’s gotten herself a new boyfriend.”

“Who? Kris? Who is he anyway?”

“New transfer student, I think.” He didn't sound very delighted talking about it. “He’s tall, handsome, and totally her type… She looks much happier with him… I’m glad she’s found someone better at least, they suit each other…”

He finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. There was this worried feeling inside of me. I wanted to see his face. I don’t know what made me do it, but I impulsively grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn around. It startled him. “H-Hyukjae, what are you doing?”

I was stunned for a second at what I did. “Nothing, I just–” I thought you were crying…

He stared blankly, but resumed to rinse and then dry. I tried to talk to make up for what I abruptly did. “We should head back, they probably need us. We’re Beau and the Beast, right? We can’t be fooling around while everyone’s working, after all, our characters’ names are in the title.”

I reached for the door handle until he said. “Hey,” I turned around and found him approaching me. I thought he was going to say something like he didn’t want to head back or worse he didn’t want to be Beau anymore, but what he did was contrary to what I expected. It was something I never saw coming. He grabbed my waist and pulled me into a quick, but heart pounding kiss. “Then let’s get serious, Beast.”  My jaw dropped. Those eyes he was gazing at me with were eyes that I’ve never seen before. There wasn’t the lost abandoned puppy or the empty cries of love in them anymore. Instead his eyes were piercing hot and y. Like a new part of him I’ve never witnessed. I couldn’t tell if he was speaking as Beau or Donghae, either way I lost complete control over my desires. I pulled him in by the nape of his neck and passionately and messily continued to make out. He more than happily returned my mutual crave. We pulled apart, panting softly.

I his cheek with the back of my fingers. “Donghae, does this mean…?”

He held my hand, squeezing it tightly. “Yeah. It’s mutual." His face looked about as if he was going to cry, but he smiled so true, so real.

“Oh, Donghae.” I cooed.

He buried his face into my neck and we stayed like that. It was so warm. His arms wrapped around my body, holding on like I might disappear if he let go. It felt so unreal. Yeah… Unreal… What changed his mind? It couldn’t be because of Jessica and Kris, right? This absolutely was the worst time to doubt, but I couldn’t help not thinking about it. I believe him, yet I wanted him to prove it more. I wanted more than this confession… His body, his heart, his soul – I wanted so much it was almost sinful. Not from loneliness and comfort, but desire and love.

I watched him carefully as we practiced. He’s been acting casual ever since he confessed to me a few days ago. We made eye contact every so often and he’d smile and blush, but other than that he hasn’t made any moves or mentioned anything about that time. I’ve been deliberately holding back once again just to test what he’d do. So far I think I’m on the thinner end of the ice. I remember telling him the next time we kissed it would be when our feelings were mutual. But his sudden confession has my mind all over the place. It pissed me off how crazy he could make me feel and not know it.

“Hyukjae, you’re doing it all wrong!” Jonghyun critiqued. “You only have one singing part and you can’t even get it right!”

“I’m trying.” I rubbed my neck.

“Is this role important to you or not?” He questioned.

“Of course it is! It’s very important.”

“Then try harder! Stop slouching too!” He slapped me on the back. I tried again. He stopped me before I could finish. Jonghyun demonstrated the flow and rhythm of the lyrics for ‘Something There’ for the millionth time. I took a deep breath and gave it another shot. “Hyukjae, your rhythm is no good. Your notes are either too high or too low and they never follow the music. You lack expression in your vocals as well. Are you bothered by something? Is that why you can’t concentrate?”

“I’ll admit that I’m distracted by my own thoughts, but hearing you sing the same lyrics over and over again isn’t helping either. I don’t get it.” I sighed.

He threw his hands in the air, frustrated. “Let’s take a break then.”

I grabbed my water bottle and took a few big gulps to rehydrate myself. My throat was feeling quite dry from all the singing rehearsals and there’s a good chance I won’t be perfecting the song in this condition. I just couldn’t feel the music connecting with my voice. Jonghyun scratched his chin, looking observantly at me. “Are you thinking about Donghae?” He asked out of the blue. I nearly choked on my water.

“N-No. Not right now.”

He chuckled. “Aha, so you were thinking about him earlier. Did something happen?”

“No… Nothing special. Same old, same old.” I lied. I don’t think there was anything official between us, yet. So I have no plans on telling anyone until I cleared my thoughts.

“Is that so?” He eyed me with doubt. Thank god Key came and distracted him. 

“Hey Darling, rehearsal is over, let’s leave together.” He chirped affectionately.

“I’m coming.” Jonghyun sang, following behind his boyfriend. “We’ll continue this next practice.” He said to me. "Don't let other affairs distract you!"

Key reached for Jonghyun's hand and they walked like an actual couple. They were so open about their relationship. No one seemed to care either. Everyone was too occupied in their own activities that other people’s businesses were none of their concerns, which is how it should be with everyone. Sadly, society is more or less accepting about what other people are like and choose to do, but there’s no helping it. Everyone thinks differently.

I sat down on the edge of the empty stage and swallowed some more water to get rid of the dryness. It became empty quicker than I expected. Just like the auditorium. It cleared out fast, yet practice didn’t feel like it was over. Next rehearsal, I’ll prove my vocal skills to Jonghyun next time, I determinedly thought.

“It must be hard learning from someone who was born with a natural talent to sing.” Donghae’s voice came from behind. It almost made me jump. He walked over to sit beside me. “Want some?” He offered me his water. I took it since I was still parched. I thanked him and we sat there for a good amount of time before the quietness got to me.

“Well, I think I’ll be leaving now.” I got up, secretly hoping he would stop me – and he did. He grabbed my ankle as I was midway up and tripped me. I collided with the floor and he broke out into laughter. My mouth gaped open in disbelief. “Bastard…”

“I didn’t expect you to fall so gracelessly.” Donghae chortled. Once his laugh had died down, at last he said, “Stay.”

I rolled my eyes. However, inside I was actually relieved. Although, he could've at least used a kinder method.

“Can I hear you sing ‘Something There’?” He asked, swinging his legs.

My head sunk dejectedly. “I rather not...”

 “Come one, it’s just the two of us. Give it a try.”

“Oh I’ve tried plenty of times.” I assured him. “I'm pretty sure it you don't want to hear it.”

He pouted and stopped swinging. Suddenly, he started singing his part of the song. Attentively, I listened. “There’s something sweet and almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined. And now he’s dear and so unsure. I wonder why I didn’t see it there before.”

His voice was perfect. Smooth like silk and gently. I could feel every emotion in each word. Goddamn... “Sing.” He whispered, balancing his weight on one arm, leaning in towards me with eagerness.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was suddenly too nervous to sing in front of Donghae. He gestured for me to continue the song. I pouted, but knew from his determined look that he was too obstinate to let me off the hook. “I want to hear you sing to me.” The tenderness of his voice further persuaded. One corner of my mouth rose up. Oh well… I gave it my best effort to keep my voice on track.

“He glanced this way, I thought I saw. And when we touched he didn’t shudder at my paw.” Donghae sand along, effortlessly harmonizing with my voice. “No it can’t be, I’ll just ignore. But then he’s never looked at me that way before.” My heart leaped in astonishment. For once I think I actually got the rhythm right. Still needs further improvement, but right! It seemed to put an even bigger smile on Donghae’s face as he was pleased with my singing and his guidance.

He continued his next line. “New and a bit alarming. Who’d have ever thought that this could be? True that he’s no Prince Charming. But there’s something in him that I simply didn’t see.”

He leaned forward and touched my chin with the tips of his fingers. It felt warm to hear him sing to me – Only the two of us. When he went back to leaning on his arm, a sudden epiphany hit me. He had a look in his eye like he wasn’t just singing the song for my enjoyment. The way he sung those meaningful lyrics, was like he trying to express his actual feelings. There were no more lines next for the either of us to sing so we sat there without exchanging another word.

“Hyukjae…” Donghae spoke up. “I didn’t kiss you off a whim because I was hurt. I planned to do it in the first place, but I’ll admit that the timing was quite inconvenient.”

I emitted a small, entertained laugh. “I know.”

He slid his hand and touched mine. His entire body seemed to be trembling at the contact. I could feel it through all his tension. He pressed his lips together as his hand then squeezed mine.

“Why are you shaking so much?”

He instantly apologized and withdrew his hand.

“Don’t be.” My fingers lifted his head up so I could just observe his face.

His face looked flustered, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously as he gulped.

“I kissed you – In the bathroom. And I said my feelings were mutual… But I’m so nervous right now. My heart won’t stop pounding. I’m so…”

“So what?” I said, staring deeper into his eyes.

“So…” He was turning red.

I moved closer and whispered. “What?” I was so close I felt his heat radiating from his skin.

“Scared,” He closed the gap between our foreheads, shaking so vulnerably, looking down. "But I’m certain. I-I'm in love with you...”

Hearing him say that made me feel honored, but it was amusing at the same time.

"Pft...!" I chuckled. He broke away looking hurt.

"Donghae,” I reached for his hand again and I laced our fingers together holding it like fragile glass, it lightly with my thumb. More blood rushed to his face which I didn't even think was humanly possible. It felt so good to touch him. Finally, he accepted my feelings and his own. Took his damn time, but I'm happy regardless. I'm also glad that he reciprocated the same amount of happiness. I could see the life thriving through his smile. I’ve never gotten the chance to his face this close for this long before, in so much detail. No matter how close I got he stayed his ground. It was proof enough he’d meant what he said. “Kiss me.” I dared him.

He was taken aback, but complied with a smile.

Awkward and confident, he stretched his neck forward and kissed me. I pulled him closer to savor those thin, shivering lips that were kissing me hard and messy, but it was all he had and I loved it. We untangled fingers and Donghae slid his arms around my neck and I brought him down slowly to lie on the stage. He clung to me while I caressed his body from his chest all the way to his belt. My hands carefully untucked his shirt and slid under, curious and exploring. He was slim, but strong. His skin burned feverishly in my arms. He arched his back, letting out a soft moan. I heard a gasp from the bottom of his throat and he pulled his head away.

He looked shocked from hearing himself moan, almost horrified.

“It’s okay,” I murmured. “That’s a good thing.”

I moved my hands some more and he let out another gasp like he had just noticed they were still there.

“You have an impressive abdomen by the way.” I beamed.

His body tensed, which brought out his muscles. “Stop! T-That tickles!”

I masterfully move my fingers around as he squirmed.

“H-Hyukjae...!” He cried.

I pulled my hands out, heart fluttering, blood rushing to my ears.

“Really? You’re gonna cry my name out like that while I’m trying to hold back not to you?”

“You want to me?” He sounded amused.

I found his lips, giving him a series of tender kisses. “I want all of you.”