~Hyukjae~

A groan escaped from my mouth like I had just woken up from a hangover. It actually made the pain lessen as I verbally expressed my discomfort with swears and cries. Without noticing, a child passed by me with his Omma and kicked me from saying the f-word out loud. But since he did that, I reflexively called the kid the b-word and his mother slapped me. If I wasn’t on the verge of spilling out whatever that was in my stomach, I’d be able to block it, but since I was in this torturous state any fast motion would automatically put me at a disadvantage – not like I wasn’t already in one.

Afterwards the Omma lectured me, using swear words I’ve never even heard of before and left. The child seemed to agree with every single crap spewing out of his Omma’s mouth and returned the insult. When I mean insult I mean he said the b-word back at me. It seemed the Omma was displeased at his dirty language, but I’d be more concerned of her filthy mouth and ed up teeth if I was her.

I rubbed the stinging slap mark on my face. Good thing she didn’t smack me with full force. Who knows what might’ve come out of my mouth if she did that, and she probably wouldn’t be too happy about that either.

I scouted the crowd from Donghae. He was sure taking is sweet little time to go tinkle. Meanwhile, I just got slapped and cussed out by a rough mama. Despite that little scene we made, I was actually enjoying my time here. At the moment I may not be in the best condition, but spending the entire time with Donghae really makes it worth the ordeals. Although, I do feel a little guilty holding him back from having as much fun as he could have had. I couldn’t care less about my happiness and pleasure – though Donghae has been trying his best to give me a wonderful time – I want to see him have a great time more than anything. Something about his smile was refreshing and invigorating.

Donghae appeared from the corner of my eye. I got up, but the world started spinning under my feels. Maybe I should’ve gotten up a bit slower…

He made his way, squeezing through people. I helped closed the remaining gap. He puffed out a breath and patted his pants when he broke free of the human tide.

“I think that’s enough for today.” He said.

My brows scrunched together in confusion from his sudden impulse. “Why?”

He straightened his back and put his hand on his hip. “You’re asking me why?”

“Is it because of me?” I tensed. For a second, I forgot all about my stomach’s whining. It’d truly be a shame if all his energy was gone because of my state of pitifulness.

He scoffed, “Of course – Not! I just said I wanted to leave, why so sad?” He nudged me and began to look for the exit. My legs scurried to catch up with him.

“I’m not sad, but – I’m sorry.”

Donghae gave me the strangest look ever, like I was stupid. “You’re sorry for getting sick?”

I laughed it off. “Yah, whose fault it that?”

“The carnival’s.”

I shoved him into a garbage can, maybe a little too hard since I nearly knocked him and the garbage can over. Even his wallet flew out of his back pocket. However, he didn’t notice. I picked it up, but before I could return it he retaliated by tackling me back. The motion caused some uneasy movement in my bowels. My hands held my stomach.

“Whoa, still recovering here.” I warned.

I draped my arm over his shoulder for extra support, “Lend me your strength.” I cheesily said as a joke, but he didn’t mind. He guided me to the exit and even offered to drive in my place. “Would you like to go home or go somewhere to eat?” He asked.

“Eat. I’m starving.”

“Good, me too.”

As smoothly as he could, he drove us to a decent restaurant. Almost all my dizziness was cured by time. My mood was definitely better and my stomach was now aching for a different reason. But even if I was yearning for some food, I realized my condition didn’t start improving until Donghae started joking with laughs. I suppose his mood had an impact on me, but I guess that’s what happens when you start to fall for someone. I had my eyes on him since the beginning and the more I spend time with him the more I get pulled into his world. But his world is still too mysterious for me to understand much about him.

He always hides everything, like Siwon said. His only flaw was his eyes, resembling those of a lost puppy. If one were to study them long enough, they would see nothing… Because it was so empty. Occasionally, there was a glimmer, but most of the time it was vacant.  He may be hiding secrets behind them, but I know he wants comfort. And for that reason, I became drawn to him ever since we met.

The waiter took our order and we proceeded to converse as we waited.

“This is really nice.” I took a sip of my water. “Y’know, I rarely get the chance to go out with friends, let alone hang out with anyone.”

He raised an eyebrow, “You really that lonely?”

“Not lonely, I’m just busy.” I corrected him.

“Oh really, Mr. Work-your--off-until-you-pass-out?” Donghae put his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his palm.

“You try going to school and working at a company with your parents pressuring you to do something you have no interest in. It’s really not that easy.”

“I know.”

“On top of that, you have a different passion and… You know?”

“Being pressured by your parents; wanting to satisfy their expectations. That’s practically been my whole life until now.”

I noted what he said. “I guess we float the same boat then.”

He sighed. “I wish, but I’ve got an entirely different story from yours. You see...”

He paused. He was thinking whether to continue or not. I wish he would because he was being too vague. I couldn’t grasp what he meant. He stared at me and then shook his head, “Never mind – Oh, look the foods here.”

The steaming hot, delicious platters of food were set on our table. It was enough to divert my attention too. We stuffed our faces to our content. About half way Donghae excused himself to the restroom.

While he was gone, I suddenly recalled still having his wallet. Pulling it out, I had a sudden urge to open it and slowly I did. I found his ID and slipped it out. A smile spread across my face. He looked really handsome in his picture. I looked at his information. A realization just hit me. Slipping his ID and his wallet back into my pocket, I called a waitress over. I whispered into her ear and she gave me an unsure glance, but complied since I told her I’d pay extra.

Donghae came back.

We resumed stuffing our faces until the check came.

“I’ll pay.” Donghae said.

“No, it’s okay. I will.”

He frowned. “I said it first.”

“Fine then you pay.” I smirked.

He reached for back pocket. He then reached for his other one, and then he checked his front ones, then jacket ones, and back ones again. His expression seemed panicked.

“Ummm… I can’t pay…” He said in a nervous tone.

“No problem.” I said.

I pulled out his wallet.

“Wait – That’s–”

“Your wallet? Yup, you dropped it.”

He made a snatch for it, but I moved it out of his range. “Sir please remained seated. I’m trying to pay here.” I teased. I pulled out some cash and handed it back.

“Damn you.” He chuckled.

“Well, you did say you’d pay.” I reminded him.

He shrugged. “Yeah, I did say that. Whatever, let’s go.”

“Wait, I have one more order.”

A few seconds later the same waitress came back with a to-go box already in a bag.

“Now let’s go.”

Time was approaching 8 when we got back at my place.

Donghae went for the couch. “Ahhhh.” He sighed with satisfaction.

I searched for Victoria to return her car keys. She ended up being upstairs, dusting a vase.

“Oh! Welcome home, Mr. Hyukjae! Splendid! You made it home safely. I presume your friend is here too?”

“He is. He’s resting downstairs on the couch. Say? Do we have any candles?”

“I am not certain, but I will check.”

“Please do.”

I was about to head downstairs but Victoria then asked me for the reason. I grinned. “You’ll see.”

I pulled out the to-go box and set it on the table, Victoria entered the dining room and made an O shape. She nodded, following along. She held the candles up and even brought a lighter. I gave her two thumbs up and went to fetch Donghae.

“Hey, get up.”

His eyes were closed. He groaned, but still got up. “What is it?”

“Close your eyes.” I instructed.

“What are you going to do to me?” He looked suspicious.

“Nothing, I promise.”

I got behind him and covered his eyes myself to make sure he wasn’t peaking. “Walk forward, but slowly. Just trust me, alright?”

I gave him instructions where to step and we finally made it to the dining room where Victoria was waiting.

‘Close the lights’ I mouthed. Luckily, she could read lips and did as she was told.

3…2…1…

I released my hands from his eyes, “You can open them now.”

The moment his eyelids rose, he saw the small, round birthday cake and candles in front of him. He looked at me, shocked yet touched.

“Happy birthday.” I wished him.

He was speechless – Teary-eyed in fact.

“How’d you know?”

“It was on your ID. I saw it when I had your wallet.”

He took a moment, looking at the cake. The candle flames reflected in his eyes. He seemed mesmerized by it. “You didn’t have to.” He crooned.

“No, it’s totally fine. You kinda paid for it in a way, so yeah…” I said.

He laughed, sniffling.

“Blow the candle out first before you cry at least.”

Donghae quickly blew them out. Victoria clapped.

“Happy, happy birthday! Hooray for birthdays! It’s a happy day for a birthday!” She cheered. “Let’s have some cake!”

She sliced three pieces and gave us each a plate. I grabbed Donghae’s plate from him before he could take a bite. I stabbed a piece of it and held it in front of his mouth.

“Say ‘ahhhhh’” I told him.

“I can feed myself.” He said, reaching for the fork.

I moved it away from him. “You’re the birthday boy. I’m going to feed you, so opening your mouth or else it’s going up your nose.”

He gave in with little resistance. He opened his mouth and I fed him the cake.

“How is it?”

“It’s tasty.” He his lips, but he missed the corner. There was frosting left there.

I, who had been holding back, leaned in and it adding an additional peck.

“You said you wouldn’t do anything.” He pointed out, indifferent.

“Can you let it slip?”

“Do you even know how many kisses I’ve already let slip from you?”

I shook my head.

“Enough to start questioning myself.”

“Oh?” I devilishly smirked, setting down the plate and fork.

I moved a little closer to him. My left hand slithered around his waist, to his back, and my right thumb and index finger held his chin up to my face. He was stiff, but that was about it. It almost surprised me how docile he was being. Suddenly he went from the guy who got angry from a simple kiss to someone who isn’t even attempting to escape when we’re this close.

“Am I a bad guy?” I asked him.

“No.”

“Will you push me away?”

“…”

No answer.

I went in for a kiss, testing if he would. He closed his eyes, but they were shut tight. I could feel him trembling slightly. As our lips were about to make contact, I redirected it and just settled for a hug. He opened his eyes.

“It seems you’re not ready.” I said.

Not knowing what to say, he remained still. Not a single word was exchanged at that moment, but it was unnecessary since his eyes were evidently telling me what he wanted to say but couldn’t. Again, the emptiness, the desire for attention, but that was as much as I could read from his dark orbs.

Slowly, he began shaking his head, accompanied with a sad smile. “I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t want to believe I like a guy. I want to push you away, I want to punch you for all the times you’ve kissed me against my will, but even I’m going against my will, so… I don’t know. I feel like I’m crazy.”

His last sentence was muffled because he buried his face into my shoulder and his arms finally moved around me, quivering. We were trapped in silence, but one that we needed.

“Look, I don’t like you because you’re a guy. Males are just the gender I’m attracted to naturally, but I like you because you’re Donghae. Do you get what I’m sayin’?”

He nodded, but it was an uncertain one. I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at me.

“What I’m trying to say is, don’t like me because I’m a guy, like me because I’m Hyukjae, the person who so happens to be a male. There’s nothing wrong with liking a guy. In the end it’s all love, right?” I smiled, trying to ease his heart a bit. “Next time we kiss, it’ll be mutual, got it? So I’ll do the best of my abilities to keep my hands off until you’re ready.”

He seemed to relax more after hearing my words, but I could tell I still hadn’t got through to him fully.

Clapping startled the both of us. We both just now noticed that Victoria had just witnessed the entire thing. Donghae instantly pushed me away, blushing the deepest red I’ve seen on his face so far.

This chapter took me a while to write since I wasn't satisfied with each draft. I'm still a little iffy on this one, but I really wanted to get it posted for you guys to read! It turns out to be Donghae's birthday and things are escalating in their friendship and it might even move to a possible relationship *Wink, wink* Oh Donghae, nothing wrong with same love, Hyukjae seems to understand. Anyways, Thank you~