After spending the whole afternoon talking about their past, their hopes and their dreams, Ji Hyo felt like she got to know another side of her boyfriend yet again.  He was a well-rounded entertainer, a great romantic partner but he was also a man of high emotional intelligence. He had shown prowess in street smart and quick wits numerous times on Running Man, which Ji Hyo witnessed first-handedly only seldomly, but he has rarely been portrayed as a man in touch with his and others' emotions. Seeing how he had nothing but great things to say about his family and his sunbaes, some of which she had been told were quite nasty, Ji Hyo felt like she was once again proven that he was the one. Love can't be rushed, but she was 100% sure of her feelings; all her past relationships that ended in failure were only preparation for this one with the Commander. She knew it sounded naive and slightly vain of her, but she had a feeling that the person she had been waiting to sweep her off her feet all her life was Kim Jong Kook. All the hardship she went through was all worth it; dating, lying and breaking up with Gary left a scar on both of them, but nothing compared to how fulfilled, loved and safe she was right now. She was hopelessly in love with Jong Kook. She could say that she was absolutely radiant about the prospect of their future if it weren't for one tiny detail. Oh, yes.

The national headlines that she was dating her CEO.

''Oppa, do you think that we're too careful for no reason? That I'm too protective, too psycho about what's going to happen to all of us?" She asked, her whole body turned in his direction after they have decided to sit in the backseat. Blinded by the strong and bright sunrays on this cold day, she put a hand to her eyes. Her eyes roamed, destabilized by the contrasting darkness in the car. From the window behind Jong Kook, she could see young couples joking affectionately hand-in-hand. That could be them, openly going out and being all over each other instead of hiding like criminals in the darkness of their car's tinted windows.

This was probably the hundredth time that this topic has been brought up by his anxious girlfriend, and every single time, he would say that whatever she chose to do concerning this matter, he would respect. Tell the world it was all a lie? Fine by him. Insist on the authenticity of the fake relationship? No problem.

He inched his face a few centimeters from hers and cupped her cheeks between his calloused hands, "You do what makes you comfortable. I trust your gut." 

Ji Hyo looked down, conflicted, resting her hands on his, her fingers curling around the tips of Jong Kook's. What was her gut telling her? Couldn't it make itself clear about what it wanted instead of letting her mind take over and causing her heart to feel jittery?

"I feel like my gut is not working. It really felt like this decision was the best I could make at that time, but maybe have I been looking at this the wrong way the entire time? I should've told the truth right from the start...Right, oppa?" She didn't know what to think anymore! If only a watchful angel could appear before her and show her how life would've been different depending on the path she chose, she wouldn't have to wreck her brain over this matter!

"Sometimes, I wish I could just not care about anything and barge into a live-recording show, grab a mic and shout to whoever wants to hear that I - excuse my language - give no s about what people have to say about who I choose to date." She ranted, a bitter smile drawing on her lips. Jong Kook perfectly understood this desire for freedom. Hell, who in the industry doesn't long for this carefreeness? 

"But this is not me. I can't do that. I can't help myself...I want people's approval. That's just who I've always been and will always be," she uttered, playing with an unravelling thread from her jeans. 

Secrets that she wasn't ready to reveal about herself were flowing out of . She had been leading an unending fight against the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability ever since she could remember, but this deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy still followed her around stubbornly. She had fought so hard and for so long, always pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, but somehow, they have never failed to resurface. So, she pushed them back even deeper. This time was different though; her dark inhibited thoughts wanted to be heard, and in a moment of weakness, they rolled off her tongue. And now, she couldn't stop anymore. She was bare in front of Jong Kook. 

"The happiness of the greatest number of people is what I strive to achieve. As long as I have anything to do with it, everyone will be happy. Even if it means that I'm slightly less happy than them." 

He gazed at her nervously picking the skin around her nails, his cheek now on his hand and his elbow resting angularly on the driver's seat, his heart aching to see - to finally understand - the demons hidden in the heart of his loved one. He didn't make any sound to acknowledge her words instead he listened and her knuckles with his other hand as a source of comfort. 

"I can't afford to make a mistake, I can't just openly love someone and ignore how it will affect others around me. Everyone needs to believe that I'm competent, professional, strong..." She raised her chin and stared into his soft eyes. "They have to believe in what I'm not." She said the last part, barely above a whisper, her expression unreadable. Tears had been welling up in her eyes ever since she started talking but she was unknowingly and continuously blinking them away. Before she even realized it, droplets of salty water were rolling down her cheeks. 

Ji Hyo touched her face and examined her wet palm, surprised. "What the hell...Am I crying?" She asked him, incredulous.

Jong Kook grinned sadly, before yet again gently holding her face in his warm hand, wiping the tears away. "Yeah. You're crying. It's okay, cry all you want. Don't worry, I won't tell the members, you'll remain tough in our eyes."

Ji Hyo managed a small laugh as she sniffled. She could always count on her spartan boyfriend to lift her spirits up. 

"I mean it Ji Hyo. I know you think you're not strong but you are. This has been hard on you, pretending, lying to the others and I'm pretty sure that if it was anyone else in this situation, they wouldn't have held out for so long." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders; immediately and intuitively, she nestled her head in the crook of his neck.

"You have fears and anxieties, and I get that. We all do. But you're so much more than that. There might be some days when you'll feel like no matter how hard you try, the skies will always be gray. But I'll be right beside you, cheering you on. So don't be scared of anything, I'm here." He laid a chaste kiss on her forehead, "Always."

Ji Hyo lifted her head to get a long hard look at Jong Kook. Her Jong Kook. She was a very lucky woman. She had to admit to herself that, if she was in his shoes and she had to withstand all that annoying repetitive anxiety-fuelled questionning about whether the decision to lie to the whole Republic of Korea was right or not, she would've long packed her bags and jumped off the wagon. But time after time, he was still here. Right by her side.

Jong Kook could tell that as time went on, this situation they found themselves in was taking its toll on Ji Hyo's mental and emotional well-being. At first, he supported her choice, assuming she'd be able to pull through considering how strong-minded she was. Now is a completely different story. He didn't think he would get to see her tears so early in their relationship; he had expected those to come later, like when he'd get down on one knee and ask her to marry him in an disgustingly romantic way. Blissful tears, not stress-filled tears. Never, never did he want to see her cry again as long as he could fix it.

Now, he was absolutely positive he couldn't let this go on any further.

"I've seen you worried sick over this for far too long. Way longer than I should have." Jong Kook started, releasing his grip on her.

"As your boyfriend, I've failed you. I should have 'maned up' when I had the chance but I didn't want to go behind your back and do something you wouldn't want. But I can't take it anymore, seeing you like this. So, this - " He pulled out his cellphone from his bulky winter coat pocket and punched in a few buttons. " - this is what I should've done from the start."

Ji Hyo pulled her famous 'mong' face as she peeked at the screen of his mobile device. "Huh? Who are you calling? Oppa, what - "

She immediately got her answer. 

From: Jong Kook

To: Star News Park PD-nim.

Hello, this is Kim Jong Kook.

I am writing to tell you the exclusive news that I am dating my Running Man cast member, Song Ji Hyo.

You may now leak it to the world.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye.

From: Jong Kook

To: (5 people) Jae Suk hyung, Suk Jin hyung, Ma Man Gary, Dong Hoonie <3, Young Master Kwang Soo.

Ji Hyo and I are dating. 

Tonight 6 PM. My place. We'll explain everything.

 See you all there.