Okay, I admit it-

I miss you.

I never imagined this day where I actually look around and notice the stains of your presence.

No longer is my band folder switched with yours due to your prankster friend.

No more squishing into a packed cafeteria table, sitting across from you.

No more listening to music, my head on your shoulder as we both fall asleep.

I will not lie that after those few months, I tried to wipe clean any memory of you.

I hung up the dress in my closet.

I smiled and said hi, but barely exchanged words and jokes anymore.

I did not look for you at your graduation until you had already sat down.

I was different.

I was determined to be older, wiser, more mature-

Perhaps you knew I was fooling myself.

That I was just being selfish, and unsure if I knew you.

One of my childhood friends knew more about you than I did just from one car ride.

What did I want?

More importantly,

What did you want?

The old me is back, perhaps the one you actually remember.

The one that laughs and tries to keep up your string of puns,

The one who listens intently to your words of strange but nifty wisdom,

The one that could put a smile on anyone's face through her quirkiness.

But you are gone.