Author’s POV:

Jessica’s Pregnancy Calendar – Week 17

Jessica only remained silent and tossed the paper she found into one of her vanity drawers. She was becoming extremely angry with Kris’ presence around her and she needed to cool down. Grabbing the rest of the dirty clothes from the bathroom hamper, Jessica quickly made her way down the stairs and into the laundry room.

Wanting to cool off, she took her mind off the phone number that this Hana girl wrote for Kris. Thank goodness Kris was sleeping soundly right now, or else he would’ve been murdered as soon as Jessica saw him. Jessica wasn’t to be messed with at the moment. Not when she’s boiling and raging. The pregnancy hormones only heightened the emotions.

Jessica was not in the mood to talk and she only fixated on doing chores around the house momentarily. She brewed a cup of tea to cool off. The day just started off in a raging terror and it was only a saving grace that Jessica had the chores to distract her. But suppressing the anger and the emotions isn’t good.

Jessica was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode any minute.

Just when she thought she collected her thoughts together after forty-five minutes, Jessica started to boil when she saw Kris walk naturally in front of her eyes. The wife only leaned on the kitchen counters with a poker face while he rummaged through the fridge for a chilled water bottle.

“Should we go out for lunch?” Kris realized it’s the afternoon already with their deep sleeping.

Jessica only shrugged and turned around to place her now empty cup in the sink. “Sure, whatever.” She walked off, her face never wavering with any emotion.

Kris only stared at his wife’s leaving backside. He could only think of how it was possible for Jessica to look both y yet cute in just his white t-shirt. Chugging down his water bottle, Kris tossed the empty bottle before making his way, following in his wife’s footsteps in smiles. He figured that if Jessica woke up in a good mood, she would remain the same throughout the day.

Finding her in their shared walk-in closet, Kris couldn’t help but grin stupidly when he saw her backside. He went up behind her and hugged onto her gently, so he doesn’t frighten her. Kris nuzzled against the nape of her soft neck. He started to plant loving kisses on her exposed shoulder, trailing his lips to her neck, and placing affectionate kisses lovingly. His arms brought their bodies to fit flush together and nuzzled into the nape of her neck.

Jessica was not in the mood for any affection. The way Kris held her and the way he kissed her only made her think about the phone number of Park Hana. Tears welled in the pregnant woman’s eyes. All Jessica could think of was Kris hugging and kissing another woman. She was so furious and upset at the same time that she doesn’t know what to feel.

Within a second, Jessica quickly collected herself and shoved Kris off of her. His touches and holds don’t feel special to her anymore. Not when he does it to someone else. Jessica doesn’t want to be used, but it already feels like she has been.

Kris only stared at her with wondering eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked after seeing her solemn expression.

Jessica blinked. “Yeah.” She responded blandly before heading towards her rack of dresses.

“…Okay.” Kris finally said, after watching her for a minute and went to get dressed as well.

Jessica only stared blankly at her clothes. At that moment, Jessica wondered about the reality of their marriage.

Jessica watched in silence as Kris rummaged through the laundry basket for something. It was time for bed, yet Kris was frantically searching for something. Jessica already had a small hunch for what he was looking for, but she didn’t want to accept it.

“Jess, have you seen a folded piece of paper? It was in my pocket before…” Kris stopped for a moment to ask her, looking a little tense.

The wife could see the small terror hidden in his eyes. She could see that Kris didn’t want her to know, but he just had to make sure to check with her. Jessica has her chance. It’s her chance to ask him, to confront him about Park Hana, to question him about their relationship.

But why didn’t she?

“No,” Jessica didn’t know why she lied. “Haven’t seen anything.” She hopelessly tucked into bed, pulling the duvet up to her chin.

She heard Kris heave out a sigh before continuing to search. Jessica shut her eyes, trying to drown out any noise he was making. She didn’t want to take in the fact that he was searching all over for some other girl’s number right in front of her. Jessica suddenly felt a wave of different emotions. Instead of anger and hate, she felt vulnerable and broken. She was on the verge of tears, sad, broken tears.

Just stop searching and come to bed…please. She was practically begging him. If only she voiced out her thoughts.

“I’ll just look for it tomorrow…” Kris grumbled to himself. “Where did I leave it?” he switched off the lights and made his way into bed.

Unexpectedly, Jessica peeked open her eyes when she felt the bed dip. A part of her felt lifted, a small bit of joy. Blinking at him, Jessica only waited for him. Every night without fail, Kris would always give her a goodnight kiss, no matter what kind of standstill they were in. It was something that always assured Jessica at the end of the day.

But of course, things change. Kris only heaved out a frustrated sigh and turned, as he flipped the duvet over himself. Jessica only stared longingly at his backside. Her hopes and expectations shattered. Was she too harsh on him? Did she take it too far by giving him the cold shoulder?

She only let out a silent shaky sigh. Good night to you too, Kris…

Jessica felt as if she was on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute, she feels furious. The next, she feels heartbroken. She just couldn’t figure it out herself. Even Kris knew she was constantly bipolar. If Jessica could describe it, she would say that Kris was purposely avoiding her.

Every single night, Kris would come home later and later. Jessica already resorts to making a one-person meal since Kris never comes home for dinner anymore. While poking at her already cold dinner by herself one night, Jessica depressingly thought about Kris. He’s coming home later each night. Why? Because I’m too hard to handle. I’m too bipolar. He can’t understand where I’m coming from, why I’m acting the way I am. My emotions are all jacked up. He’s avoiding me I’m not giving him what he wants.

It came to the point where Jessica didn’t feel like eating. The food tastes stale and no flavors pop. Yet another reason why Kris doesn’t come home for dinner, she thought. Jessica’s cooking has becoming like her feelings; depressing and miserable.

Jessica is afraid. The later Kris comes home, the more frightened she is. She knows she hasn’t been giving Kris what he wants, hormonal needs and all. She knew Kris just wants to be loved and given affection to, but she was too mad at him. Kris had been trying to have any kind of affectionate touches with her, but when she brushed him off constantly for a whole week, Kris stopped any advances and that’s when he started to come home even later. Jessica was scared that Kris might find Park Hana to ‘help’ him. It terrified her, but she didn’t want to think about it. She feels all sorts of emotions when it came to thinking about Kris. She just didn’t even know what to think anymore.

Mindlessly chopping vegetables, Jessica was preparing dinner for herself. Of course, she figured Kris wouldn’t be home for her dinner anyways. Jessica felt a sense of relief when she’s in the kitchen, when she’s cooking. It lets her take her mind of things in a way. It calms her.

“Blip, I know you’re hungry~” Jessica pouted when her baby started to kick and move. “Just wait…mommy’s making dinner.” She carefully placed down the knife and rubbed her belly.

Baby blip suddenly stops moving, as if it was complying with Jessica’s words. Blip’s actions only made Jessica smile. She feels happiest when she knows she has her baby with her. She’s not actually alone, when she feels alone.

Picking up the knife again, she was about to continue with what she doing originally. The only thing that stopped her was the front door. The familiar sound of the door swinging open and the familiar sound of shoes. Jessica only stared the kitchen tiled wall in front of her as she listened to Kris’ every movement. Why was he home early?

Jessica only started to move her hands nonchalantly when she heard Kris walking towards the kitchen. “You’re home early.” She spoke, still focused on the chopping board.

Kris hummed, peeking over her shoulder. “Didn’t want to work much today.” He only glanced at what she was doing before walking towards the fridge.

There it was again. That cherry perfume. Jessica’s grip on the knife tightened. Did you not want to work because you were busy hanging out with some girl? Jessica silently thought, as her chopping got more rigorous. She didn’t even receive a kiss or even a hug from him when he got home. Then again, he’s probably not even in love with her anymore. They’re more distant from each other than ever before.

“What’s for dinner?” Kris asked naturally, rummaging the refrigerator for a drink.

“I don’t know.” Jessica answered, indifferently.

Kris only leaned on the counter beside her. “Is everything alright?” He silently looked at her with a careful expression.

Jessica only paused in her actions to glance at him. “Mhm.” She hummed, looking back down at what she was doing.

“…’Kay.” Kris remained looking at her with a deep look, as if trying to pry her open with his scrutinizing eyes.

Jessica knew he was going to ask something. Something that has to deal with her insecurities and her emotions. Ask her why she’s been acting weird or even tell her what he’s been up to. Jessica wished to have some assurance from him. Now was the time to do so and Jessica is more than welcoming, even if she doesn’t seem like it. She wants to know what he’s been doing behind her back. Now.

“…When’s dinner going to be ready?” Kris’ question only made Jessica more furious than she was initially.

Dinner? Really? All you’re worried about is dinner? Not even my feelings? I’m not some maid. You’re such a jerk, Kris.

Jessica only angrily huffed out a breath and put down her knife. “I don’t know, Kris!” she irritably hissed, glaring into his eyes lethally.

Kris’ eyes widened at her, as his eyebrows rose. “What–” his speech was cut off when his phone rang. He fished out his phone and decided that the caller was much more important than his wife at the moment. “Hello?” he put the phone to his ear. “Oh, hey…” his voice softened a significant amount and he immediately produced a smile before he walked out of the kitchen.

Jessica had her teeth gritted and her jaw tensed before she sighed out hopelessly. Running her fingers through her hair, she couldn’t help the tears that rimmed her waterline. She took in a shaky breath before she decided that she couldn’t stand staying in the house right now.

Throwing the knife and the rest of the ingredients into the sink, Jessica shut off the stove and made a beeline for the front door. Passing the living room where Kris was still talking on the phone, Jessica clenched her teeth to prevent herself from breaking down. Slipping on a pair of shoes, she walked through the door, not knowing where she’s going, not knowing when she’s coming back.

Slamming the door behind her, she could already imagine Kris’ face. Or yet, he wouldn’t even notice that she left…because he was too busy talking to Park Hana.

{Author's Note}: Sorry for the late update. I've been busy. 

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