It didn’t bother her when she woke up specifically to ring back during their evening, and Jessica answered the house phone, and they spoke for a good twenty minutes without a word about the subject. It didn’t bother her when she said goodnight to her children and they acted as if they couldn’t care less about what day it was. And when she asked to speak to Jamie, her best boy, whom she felt surely would wish her the happiest of birthdays, he only yelled down the phone that he missed her, before running off and leaving the phone on the kitchen counter without another thought.

“You’re up early”

Taeyeon stands by the door and slips on her shoes. “Sleep it off, Mum?”

“Quite nicely, yes, thank you” Sooyeon smiles. “Where are you off to, love?”

“I’m…going to Tiffany’s tomb”

Sooyeon’s smile fades a bit, but she manages to keep just enough of a positive expression. “Would you like me to go with you?” she offers.

Taeyeon shakes her head as she puts on an old coat she found in the back of her closet. “No, Mum. This is something I need to do by myself”

Sooyeon nods. “I understand, dear”

Taeyeon buttons her coat and Sooyeon picks up her car keys from the table. “Take my car”

“No, I’ll take a taxi”

Sooyeon sets the keys back down. “Alright, well…”

Taeyeon looks across the small room at her mother, silently begging her to not say anything else. So Sooyeon nods once and Taeyeon lowers her eyes, nodding back, and then turns to leave.

...

...

The shop is empty, save for the old woman behind the counter putting together a colorful arrangement. Taeyeon walks around searching for something special. Something specific. Her favorite.

The woman behind the counter is eyeballing her over a white lily, so Taeyeon smiles and approaches. “Hello. I’m looking for blue irises. Have you any in?”

The woman walks around the counter to the other end of the shop and comes back with a large bunch of what Taeyeon asked for.

“Oh, those are lovely. I’ll take them all. And, if you could, add some lavender, please?”

...

...

The taxi stops under the weepiest of willows. She asks the driver to wait, handing him one hundred thousand won notes for his trouble, and he immediately turns off the car. Taeyeon picks up the bouquet from the back seat and slides out of the taxi. She walks to the entrance and stops, looking in beyond the large gates at the rows and rows of rock that mark someone’s loss.

She wants to walk. Thinks it might help clear her mind. So she sets off in long strides toward the north end; to a site she hasn’t been to in more than three years, but still knows the way.

The closer she gets, the faster her heart beats. She can see the chestnut tree and the bench that sits underneath it in the near distance. Swallows heavily, her grip tightening around the stems of the bouquet, when the large granite, family monument comes into view. Takes a deep breath as she takes a step up and the foundation changes from cement to grass. Her strides are shorter now, and she trips on a rock, stumbling a bit before regaining her balance. And when she looks up again, she’s there.

Taeyeon stares at her name, etched delicately into the stone. Walks closer and squats down to place the flowers on the manicured grass. Sees the small ceramic figurines the girls left the last time her mum brought them to visit. She expected to cry, but there aren’t any tears threatening.

She reaches out and runs her finger over her name, smiling sadly. “Hi babe” she whispers.

Standing upright, she goes to the bench and sits, digging her cold hands into her pockets as she thinks back to the beginning…

“These animals are going to die; your efforts here are futile”

“That might be true. But these murderous heads won’t get away with it so easily, now we’re here. Who are you, anyway?”

“My name is Tiffany Hwang, and I represent those murderous heads”

Taeyeon shakes her head and smiles at the headstone. “You got me pretty good, didn’t you? Always one step ahead, you were. I was such an idiot”

She sits quietly for a few moments, listening to the breeze as it passes through the leaves above her.

“I’d like to see you again”

“Why?”

“Because you’re interesting, and I like interesting things”

“Do you get many women with that line?”

“…You’ll be the first”

“God, Tiffany…I was so flattered that you wanted anything to do with me. You, a posh lawyer in a power suit wanting to date me, who was still wearing sneakers. What did you ever see in me? I never really knew”

“I want you to meet my parents”

“I thought you said they don’t approve of your lifestyle choices”

“They don’t…so I want you to meet my parents”

“That was the most awkward tea I’ve ever experienced” Taeyeon laughs, her nose reacting to the cold. “Your dad nearly fell out of his chair when you took my hand in yours, remember?”

“We should move in together”

“Like, as a couple?”

“Is that not what we are? Don’t you love me?”

“Yes, of course I love you, you know that”

“Then what’s stopping us?”

“I loved that apartment. It was just classy enough for you and just crappy enough for me. I convinced you that we could paint it ourselves, remember? Instead of hiring out like you wanted” Taeyeon smiles as the memory plays in her mind. “You were the worst painter I’d ever seen”

“Harold’s going to make me a partner, I just know it”

“Oh, wonderful, so I’ll see you even less than I do now”

“We won’t want for anything”

“I don’t care about the money, babe”

“Well you should. It’s my money that allows us to eat every day”

“What the does that mean?”

“It means, lovey, that the little money you do make helping those vagrants you love so much, goes right back to them. You spend all your money on food and clothing and renting rooms for them”

“It’s called humanity. Try it some time, yeah?”

“We had some lovely rows, didn’t we? I think I started out sleeping on the sofa most nights. But you always came and woke me to go back into the bedroom” Taeyeon recalls with a sad smile, pulling her hair back and tying it when the breeze begins to pick up. Something in her peripheral catches her eye, and when she turns to look, she sees a little brown bird foraging along the grass.

“Mm, three times - I deserve a medal, babe”

“I’ll melt the gold myself”

“Make sure it’s engraved with: Ultimate Champion”

“Kiss me, you silly”

“You were the first person, other than my mum, to tell me you loved me. I wanted to please you so much that I, I think I lost a bit of myself. All of those parties you dragged me to; the corporate pigs I despised…I hated it. I hated that you forced me. I hated myself for allowing you to”

“Let’s get married”

“What?”

“Married. You know… ‘Until death do us part’ ?”

“Are you asking me to marry you, babe?”

“Yes, you dork, I am. So, will you?”

“How could I refuse such a romantic offer?”

“We were happy, weren’t we? I was…for a while, anyway. Even though we stood opposite on almost everything, I loved you, and I know you loved me…in your own way”

“I want to have a child”

“Sorry?”

“I’m not getting any younger, Taeyeon, and I think my parents would come around if they had a grandchild to spoil”

“So you want to have a child for your parents”

“I want to have a child for you”

“Afraid I’m not wired properly to make that happen, babe”

“This isn’t the time for your sarcasm, lovey. I’m very serious about this”

“Babe…I…we only just got married last month…”

“We’ve been together for three years”

“…I don’t think I’m ready”

“Well I am”

“When we found out you were pregnant, I couldn’t believe it. And then we learned it was twins and I…I wanted to run, babe. I never told you. But I packed a bag and wrote a note and everything. I felt as though I was being choked, and I didn’t know how to breathe again. I ran to mum’s, and she convinced me to go back. She told me I would be a better mother than she ever was, and, well; I had to prove her right, didn’t I?”

“Remember when you didn’t want them?”

“I was wrong, ok? You were right, as usual”

“They’re extraordinary, aren’t they?”

“They’re the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen”

“I’m going to miss them terribly when I go back to work”

“That won’t be for another six months, babe”

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m going back a bit sooner”

“How much sooner…?”

“After Christmas holidays”

“But that’s only a month from now”

“…And?”

“You’re their mother”

“So are you, Taeyeon. And it’s not as if you’re working full-time…or at all. Harold needs me on a case”

“Your daughters need you here”

“I’m going back in a month. End of discussion”

“That’s when things went to . You truly became one of them after the girls were born. I tried so hard to find the woman I’d fallen in love with somewhere inside of you, but I couldn’t”

The tears that Taeyeon had expected much sooner, finally begin to fill her eyes.

“What’re you doing here?”

“We thought we’d come by and steal you away for lunch. The girls haven’t seen you in a week”

“I’m busy”

“Yeah? But you need to eat”

“I don’t have time, Taeyeon”

“Bella took her first steps today. Now I’m really going to have my hands full, with the two of them walking”

“Taeyeon, you have to go, I have a meeting”

“We can wait, if you like”

“I’ll see you back at the apartment. Bye-bye, girls. Mummy loves you”

“You missed so much of their growing up and yet, they adored you. I was so jealous of the love they had for you. You didn’t deserve it”

“My parents are dead”

 “What? How? Babe…”

“Car accident. I told Mother that Father shouldn’t drive anymore”

“I’m so sorry…”

“They’ve left me Seorae, and trusts for the girls”

“That was kind of them. What can I do for you?”

“Take me to Banpo; I need to be there”

“I couldn’t stand that place. It was so dank, and isolated, and far too large for any one family. But we moved in anyway” Taeyeon wipes the tears from her cheeks. “We were so lonely there” she sighs. “I went back yesterday…to say goodbye. I’m giving it to mum, for the ‘vagrants’“

“What do you mean cancer?”

“That’s why I’ve been so ill, so tired lately”

“But…when did you find out?”

“Last week. I had some tests done”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. Anyway, the doctor says I can begin treatments right away”

“I want to speak with the doctor”

“There’s no need for that”

“You’re my wife, Tiffany! There very much is a need for it”

“I wish you could see the girls, babe; they’re brilliant and beautiful and happy. I haven’t ed them up as badly as we thought I would”

“Where do you think you’re going with my children?”

“I’m taking our children to my mum’s; this is no place for them”

“They are exactly where they belong. If you even try and walk out that door, you’ll never see them again”

“Excuse me?”

“They’re my children, Taeyeon”

“No, they’re our children, whom I’ve raised for four and a half years, practically on my own!”

“Sophia looks so much like you; she’s adorable. She’s so intuitive and kind. Her hair is much lighter now, and her freckles uncountable. She still loves to paint, and read, and loves anything to do with museums And Bella, well…she’s a stunner. Always says she has ‘donor face’, which bothers me, but she seems alright with it. She loves the water, and she took up surfing over the summer. She’s very protective of Sophia. And you’ll be glad to know that she can give as good as she gets. Usually from me” Taeyeon laughs through her tears.

“…Quit your job, and the four of us can move away; start over somewhere new”

“Why the hell would I want to do that?”

“Because you’ve got a second chance at life, now the cancer’s gone. I thought you might want to put your family first?”

“If I don’t work, we don’t eat, the girls don’t attend the best schools, we lose this house”

“Who cares! So we move back to an apartment, we don’t eat roast and lamb every day, our children go to public schools…but at least we’d have you back. We were happier then, don’t you think?”

“I thought I knew why I came to see you; I thought I wanted to yell at you, and damn you for hurting me and the girls. I thought I would scream and cry and throw things. But now I’m here, I don’t want to do any of it”

“It’s bedtime, where’s Mummy?”

“She’s working, darling”

“Will she come to parents’ night at school tomorrow?”

“I reminded her this morning”

“Why do you always look so sad, Mum?”

“Close your eyes now; it’s time for sleep”

“I should tell you that…I’ve met someone. A very brilliant someone. Her name is Sunny. And for reasons I’m not quite sure of, she loves me”

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Happy New Year!!

Enjoy :)