-Hospital; Day 50-

Taeyeon circles the parking lot trying to find the closest space; trying to shorten the distance between the hospital entrance and the car for the passenger seated next to her. She finally pulls into a space two rows from the path that leads to the entrance, turns off her car, and looks over at her passenger. She grins to herself and unbuckles both their seatbelts.

As she walks around the car to the passenger side, she looks around to see when the most opportune time would be to make a swift - hopefully invisible - entrance to the lobby. She opens the door and grabs the arm of her passenger. Takes one more look around. it.

Taeyeon pulls out the passenger and hugs it to her, lifting her chin in the air and tucking its head underneath as she closes the car door. She has to switch arms halfway to the sliding doors, and she fumbles a bit when her companion suddenly flops over.

When the doors open, Taeyeon smiles, realizing this will most likely be the last time she”ll walk through them. She takes a deep, grateful breath and ignores the stares she and her companion are receiving and heads up to the fourth floor.

…

…

“Oh wow…!” Jamie can barely keep still in his bed when Taeyeon walks in and he sees what she’s brought with her.

“Taeyeon…” Sunny says in a disapproving tone, even though she’s smiling.

“Afternoon, all…” Taeyeon grins and winks at Sunny, then sets the life-sized teddy bear on Jamie’s bed.

“I love him” Jamie says as he wraps his little arms around the bear, barely able to reach halfway around it.

“I’m glad” Taeyeon kisses him on the head.

“You’ll never learn” Sunny shakes her head.

“Don’t hold that against me?”

Sunny just arches a brow in reply.

“He’s going home today” Taeyeon starts to defend her purchase, “it’s a special occasion… and every boy needs a bear the size of his mum, wouldn’t you agree?” she leans down and pecks Sunny on the lips. “Besides, I thought he could keep the giraffe company… maybe even inspire a new story?”

Sunny rolls her eyes, “You’re incorrigible”

“I know”

…

…

“Anything else that needs to go in this bag?” Taeyeon looks around the room and waits for Sunny’s answer.

Sunny looks up from the release papers and scans the room. “No, I think that’s it” she sighs, “I can’t believe we’re actually leaving”

“It doesn’t seem real to me either” Taeyeon says, as she zips up the bag and plops it on the bed. She sits down next to Sunny and kisses her temple.

“What…?” Sunny asks, after Taeyeon stares at her silently for a minute.

“I… I’ve been thinking…” Taeyeon bites her lip.

“Hmm, that’s always dangerous” Sunny tucks a strand of brown hair behind Taeyeon’s ear.

Taeyeon remains serious. It takes her a moment to gather the courage to continue, and following a deep breath, she says, “I’ve been thinking that, maybe you and James should stay at my place for a while. Or forever. The girls and I could help you care for him, and there’s so much space, and Emma’s there to help as well…”

Sunny smiles crookedly, “You’re serious”

Taeyeon nods and takes Sunny’s hand in her own.

Sunny looks away briefly. Taeyeon takes this as Sunny having doubts.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’d have to stay with me or anything. You can have your own room, if you’d like and…”

“Taeyeon…”

“… and James can stay with you or have a room right next to yours or we can remodel and make an adjoining room…”

“Taeyeon…”

“... I just… I want to be close to both of you, so I can help and…”

“Taeyeon!”

“What!”

“We would love to stay with you and the girls”

Taeyeon’s eyes widen. “Really…?”

“Yes. Really”

…

…

“No more diapers!” Jamie stands in the doorway of the bathroom with his arms raised, “I can walk to the bathroom all by myself!”

Taeyeon and Hyoyeon clap and laugh when Jamie pulls down his trousers to show them his Toy Story underwear. Sunny turns off the bathroom light behind him and holds his hand, helping him to a chair.

“I can walk by myself, Mama” he insists, and tries to tug his hand out of hers.

“You’re not steady enough yet, young man. The therapist says you need a hand for at least two weeks” she kisses his bald head and lets him guide her.

“Car’s all packed” Sungmin announces when he enters the room.

“Thanks, Sungmin” Sunny smiles and bends down to help Jamie put on his shoes, “we just need to wait for Dr. Grant to come by and then we can go” she ties one shoe and picks up the other, “and I also need to stop by Larry Gray’s office on our way out” she props Jamie’s shoe on her thigh and ties it.

Taeyeon’s head whips toward Hyoyeon and they both look like deer caught in headlights. Taeyeon silently urges Hyoyeon with her eyes to do something. Hyoyeon shrugs back to her.

“Uh… Sunny… I’ll go see that Gray fellow, you stay and wait for the doctor”

Sunny stands and furrows her brow at her sister. “Why would you go and see him?” she asks, walking across the room to her purse.

Hyoyeon looks at Taeyeon, who’s obviously panicking.

“Because you need to be here when the doctor comes…”

“I have to make a payment, Hyo, and I need to set-up a monthly schedule” she tells her sister, pulling her checkbook from her purse. She turns around to face Hyoyeon who is mouthing something to Taeyeon.

Hyoyeon and Taeyeon freeze when they see Sunny staring at them. Taeyeon can feel her heart in as Sunny’s brown eyes go from confused to suspicious.

“What’s going on between you two” Sunny asks, taking a step toward them.

Hyoyeon’s foot begins to tap nervously, and Taeyeon’s bottom lip begins to get gnawed on.

“Mama, I’m thirsty”

“In a minute, love” Sunny looks at Sungmin, “can you…?”

“I’m on it” Sungmin picks up Jamie and carries him out of the room.

Sunny waits for Sungmin and Jamie to leave, then puts a hand on her hip. “Well…?”

Taeyeon glances at Hyoyeon and sighs. She approaches Sunny and takes her hand, “There’s something I need to tell you…”

…

…

“I thought we were going to Taeyeon’s house” Jamie whines.

“I changed my mind, sweetheart, we’re going home” Sunny tells him, as they stand outside the hospital entrance and Sungmin takes things from Taeyeon’s car and puts them into Sunny’s.

“Why, Mama?”

“Sunny, please, let’s talk about this” Taeyeon quietly pleads, trying to keep her voice soft enough so as not to upset Jamie.

“I’m done talking, Taeyeon… no, not that, Sungmin” Sunny stops him before he puts the giant bear in her car.

“I want my bear, Mama”

“We don’t have space for it, Jamie”

“Don’t punish him for my mistake, Sunny”

“We don’t have space for it” Sunny says unemotionally, without looking at Taeyeon.

“I’ll keep it at my house for you, James” Taeyeon adjusts his beanie and tries not to cry.

“All done, Sunny” Sungmin holds out his arms to take Jamie from her.

Sunny hands him over and Jamie waves to Taeyeon before Sungmin ducks his head into the car. Hyoyeon is sat in the backseat next to her nephew.

“Mama’s mad at you” a wide-eyed Jamie says to his aunt, as Sungmin hooks his restraints on.

“I know, alright” Hyoyeon puts on her sunglasses and crosses her arms.

“Everything’s alright, little man” Sungmin pats him on the knee and climbs back out, closing the door. He stands by the car and waits for Sunny.

“Please, Sunny, I’m so sorry…”

Sunny just shakes her head.

“I only wanted to help…”

“You went behind my back, Taeyeon. And then you kept the truth from me, even after we spoke… you said you understood”

“I do… now”

“You lied to me” Sunny whispers loudly, “you told my sister to lie to me. Do you know how betrayed I feel?”

“I’m sorry…”

“I need to go”

Taeyeon grabs Sunny’s arm when she turns to walk away. “Sunny, please…”

“Let go of me!”

Sungmin approaches them and lays a hand on Taeyeon’s arm. “Hey, man, this ain’t the place for it. Let her go”

Taeyeon reluctantly releases her. “Sunny…” Taeyeon can’t stop the tears, and she follows Sunny around to the driver’s side, stepping over Jamie’s bear on the way.

She holds Sunny’s car door closed and sandwiches Sunny between her body and the car. Sunny pulls on the latch, trying to get in.

“Please don’t make a scene in front of my son” Sunny says, her back turned to Taeyeon.

“You said he was ours”

“That was wrong of me to say”

“You meant it. I know you did”

“Please, Taeyeon, give me some time. I just need some time to think”

Taeyeon’s hand slides off the car door and she takes a step back. “Ok” Taeyeon tugs on her shoulder, “look at me, Sunny… please?”

Sunny shrugs Taeyeon’s hand off and turns around.

Taeyeon wipes tears off of Sunny’s cheeks. “I’d give it all up for you and James, if that’s what you want”

Sunny bows her head, but Taeyeon puts her finger under Sunny’s chin and draws it back up.

“I love you”

Sunny pulls Taeyeon’s hand from her chin and shakes her head. She reaches behind her and opens the car door. “I love you, too, Taeyeon”

And then Sunny gets inside her car, closes the door, and drives off.

…

…

…

…

Taeyeon takes a deep breath before she gets out of her car. She looks both ways and crosses the street after a car passes in front of her. Walks up the pathway and stops in front of Sunny’s door. She can hear voices inside and notices the door is slightly ajar. Wonders if she’s doing the right thing by showing up on Sunny’s doorstep unannounced. But after more than two weeks of silence from Sunny, she feels like she has no other choice. She takes another deep breath and pushes the door open. Her stomach drops at the sight before her.

Sunny’s apartment is in disarray. Boxes stacked upon boxes litter the front room, and all of Sunny’s furniture is gone. Taeyeon spots movement from the corner of her eye and looks toward it. One of the boxes is moving. Tears form in her eyes when she sees two small feet peeking out from beneath it.

The box turns around and Taeyeon laughs through her tears when big brown eyes look at her through two cut-out holes. The eyes smile at her and the box clumsily moves toward her.

“I am a robot” says the high-pitched, monotone voice from inside the box.

Taeyeon bends down to its eye level. “Hello, robot. I’m looking for James, have you seen him?”

The box suddenly flies up and Jamie pops out and grins at her. “It’s me, Taeyeon!” he falls onto her and hugs her tightly, “are you surprised?”

Taeyeon closes her eyes and holds him, smells him. “You fooled me, James…” she says through a sad smile, “I thought a robot lived here”

He giggles and climbs onto her. She stands up and brings him with her. And they’re both content to just hold each other.

“Ey, little man, Mum says it’s time for your…”

Taeyeon turns toward Sungmin when he walks into the room. “Hi, Sungmin”

“Taeyeon…” Sungmin glances back before approaching her, “don’t think you should be here”

“I thought I was doing the right thing, Sungmin”

Sungmin nods. “Yeah, Hyoyeon said you was comin” from a good place. But Sunny is awful sad, man”

Jamie lifts his head from Taeyeon’s shoulder. “Auntie Hyoyeon went back to Jeonju”

Taeyeon kisses his cheek. “That’s too bad. I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye to her”

“Sungmin, do you know where the box with my…”

All eyes fall on Sunny as she comes into the room. Her eyes fall on Taeyeon and stay there.

“Hello, Sunny”

“Hi”

“Mama, Taeyeon thought I was a real robot”

Sunny keeps her eyes on Taeyeon. “Did she?”

“Mm-hmm” he smiles and lays his head back on Taeyeon’s shoulder.

Sungmin looks back and forth between the two women. “Jamie, man, let’s you and me play robots in the bedroom”

“I want to stay with Taeyeon”

This makes Sunny finally look away.

“You go with Sungmin for a bit, alright?” Taeyeon kisses his cheek again, “I’ll play with you later”

Jamie leans his forehead against hers and goes cross-eyed as he looks into her eyes. Sunny can’t help but watch as her son clings to Taeyeon. Jamie erupts into giggles and Taeyeon laughs right along with him.

“You sill boy” she hands him to Sungmin, “we’ll play later” she promises him.

Once the bedroom door is closed, Sunny begins to push and stack boxes. Taeyeon stands still, just watching her.

“Why are you here, Taeyeon?” Sunny opens a box and rifles through its contents, and then uses a black marker to list what’s inside on the inner flap.

“You said you needed time, so I gave it to you. But I miss you. We… miss you”

“When someone says they need time, it’s usually wise to wait for that person get in contact”

Taeyeon takes one step forward. “You didn’t answer any of my texts about James; I was beginning to get concerned”

“I would have answered if something had happened to him”

Taeyeon reaches down and fidgets with the corner of an open box. “I was hoping we could talk”

“I’m rather busy, if you can’t tell”

“Moving…?”

“Yeah…” Sunny leans over and tapes up the box, “to Jeonju” she stands back up and faces Taeyeon, a defiant expression on her face.

“Jeonju?”

“Yeah… Jeonju: My home. Where my son was born”

Taeyeon looks around the room, confused and stunned. “I don’t understand… you said you needed time… we prepared rooms for you at the house… were you just going to…”

Taeyeon walks across the small room determinedly, weaving around the boxes in her way.

“… were you just going to leave without speaking to me… without saying goodbye to my children… without allowing me to say goodbye to James!”

“Stop yelling, Taeyeon”

“No! No, I won’t!” Taeyeon runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “You told me you love me, Sunny!”

Sunny crosses her arms and looks away.

“You don’t love me…”

“Of course I ing love you, Taeyeon!” Sunny bursts into tears.

Taeyeon cups Sunny’s cheeks, “Then why are you doing this?” she asks in a calmer tone.

“Because…” Sunny cries, “because I can’t trust you… I don’t trust you… not anymore”

“Because I paid for his medical costs?” Taeyeon’s hands drop to her sides, “Sunny…”

“Because you lied to me, Taeyeon” she turns away and wipes her face, composing herself, “you lied to me for months. I can’t stop thinking about it. How you kissed me and held me and looked me in the eyes every day and… lied to me”

Taeyeon grabs her shoulders and turns her back around. “I love you, Sunny. And, yes, I lied to you, but it’s not as if I murdered someone or stole from someone. I was helping you financially; that was the only way I could think of to help you at the time. You wouldn’t let me near you, and I was desperate to do something… anything for you”

Sunny shakes her head, “You just don’t get it”

“What don’t I get, that you hate my money? I told you I’d give it all up for you. Is that what you want? I’ll burn down the bloody bank if that’s what you want, Sunny!”

“Everything alright out here, kids?” Sungmin pokes his head out from the doorway, “Jamie’s asking why you’re shoutin”

Sunny removes Taeyeon’s hands from her shoulders and turns around. “Sungmin, can you take him for a walk or something”

“Yeah, sure thing, Sunny”

A minute later, Sungmin walks through holding Jamie and a football.

“Don’t be angry at Taeyeon, Mama” he says through a protective mask.

“Sungmin, he can’t kick the…”

“I know, Sunny, I know” Sungmin closes the front door, and it’s quiet in Sunny’s small apartment.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice” Taeyeon apologizes.

“Me too”

“Sunny…”

“Don’t say it again, Taeyeon. It doesn’t matter anymore”

“How can you say that?”

“Because we’re leaving; we’re going home” Sunny says with watery eyes.

“You can still change your mind; you can still stay here and we can try…”

“No, we can’t, because I’ll always wonder” Sunny shrugs.

“Wonder what?”

“If you’re out there doing something behind my back and lying to me about it”

“But you know me, Sunny…”

“I thought I did”

Taeyeon puts her hands on her own chest, “I’m still the same person you fell in love with”

“I fell in love with the soul of you, Taeyeon. You’re a good person, when you want to be”

“So I’m a bad person now?”

“No” Sunny rubs her temple, “it’s not about being good or bad...” she sits down on the floor and crosses her legs. Taeyeon does the same, opposite her. Sunny looks into black eyes, smiles weakly.

“I loved you early on, from when we met. Very early on” she rolls her eyes, remembering the moment “but I resisted giving in to my feelings because I knew you weren’t ready; I knew you were still hurting from losing Tiffany, and that you were struggling with the person you’d become as a result of her illness”

Taeyeon nods. “I think you know me better than I know myself”

“That’s just it” Sunny says, “you do know who you are, and I think you want to be that person again, but you’re scared. I think the circumstances of your life have ed you up a great deal. And I know how that is, I’ve gone through a lot too” Sunny begins to cap and uncap the marker as she speaks.

“I was blinded by love” she continues, laughing at herself, “I thought I could help you heal, that I could show you the way out of despair, like a ing guru or something, because I’d gone through much of the same”

“You have helped me, Sunny. More than I can say”

“But you’re still struggling, and you still aren’t sure of yourself… and the things you do show that”

“And we’re back to the money” Taeyeon says sarcastically.

“Forget the money, Taeyeon. This is about you keeping secrets from me. The money is just a horrible bonus”

“I promise never to keep a secret from you, ever again”

Sunny drops her head into her hands and groans.

“Don’t go” Taeyeon begs.

“I need to, Taeyeon. I need my family, awful as they may be. I can’t afford to be on my own right now, not with all the things Jamie needs. And I have to focus on getting him healthy, and I can’t do that here”

“His doctors are all here, this life… it’s all he knows…”

“Dr. Grant helped us find a wonderful doctor in Seoul, and I’ve already spoken with him on the phone”

“The girls… I don’t know how I’ll tell them you’re gone”

“They need you, most of all. You’re everything to them”

“I don’t think I can live without you, Sunny” Taeyeon says in desperation.

“That’s ridiculous, Taeyeon”

“Stay. We’ll be friends. I’ll get better… see a therapist, if that’s what you want”

“You need to want it, Taeyeon” Sunny says, standing up, “and I can’t be friends with someone I don’t trust”

“You’re breaking my heart, Sunny”

Sunny walks to the door and opens it, “I’m sorry. I guess… now we’re even”

“So that’s it” Taeyeon stands up using only her legs.

“I don’t want this to be long and drawn out”

“You don’t want this at all, I can tell”

“I need to finish packing” is all Sunny says, looking everywhere but at Taeyeon.

“Can I… say goodbye to James?”

Sunny nods. Taeyeon walks over and stops at the door, purposely stands close to Sunny.

“Please don’t, Taeyeon” Sunny whispers.

Taeyeon doesn’t listen. She Sunny’s cheek with the back of her finger, and then uses the pad of her thumb to brush Sunny’s bottom lip.

Sunny looks up at her, like she might give in, like she might just fall into Taeyeon’s arms. And just when Taeyeon begins to lean down, Sunny pushes her away.

“Just go, Taeyeon. Please”

“Sunny…” Taeyeon tries again.

“Goodbye, Taeyeon”

…

…

“See that bird over there?” Taeyeon points to a pigeon perched on a telephone wire in the distance.

“Yeah” Jamie nods.

“That’s how far away I’ll be from you” she wraps her arms around his belly and kisses his neck, “I’m just a phone call away”

“Can you move to Jeonju too?”

Taeyeon presses her cheek to his ear – mindful of his mask - and squeezes him from behind, “No, I can’t” she says, trying to control the quiver in her voice, “I live here with Bella and Sophia”

“Are you coming to visit me?”

“No. Your Mama doesn’t think that’s a good idea”

“Why is Mama angry at you, were you bad?”

“I told a fib, James” Taeyeon confesses.

“Oh” he shakes his head critically at her, “Mama doesn’t like fibs”

“Yes, I know, I was wrong to do it”

They sit quietly for a while. Taeyeon keeps him close, and he tilts his head back onto her shoulder, burying his forehead into her neck.

“Will you remember me when I’m gone?”

The sob she’s been holding back escapes Taeyeon’s throat and she turns him around and hugs him tightly, “I won’t ever forget you. You’ll always be my special boy”

Jamie lays his head on her shoulder. “Don’t cry. I love you, Taeyeon”

His little body shakes as Taeyeon cries. “I love you too, James. Always”

…

…

Taeyeon pushes Jamie on the swing and sees Sungmin approaching the playground. She pretends not see him and pushes a giggling Jamie higher and higher.

“Sunny wants him back in the house” Sungmin says, standing next to Taeyeon.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Sungmin” she tells him when the swing swings away from them, “I can’t watch him walk away. I don’t believe any of this is actually happening, to be honest”

“She’s just being real stubborn because she’s hurt; it’s how she’s always been” Sungmin explains.

“You know her well” Taeyeon gives the swing another push when it comes back to her, “is there anything I can do to fix this?”

“Just let her be” Sungmin says like it would be just that easy. “You know, when he was still in hospital, Sunny told me you’re her soul mate, man. If that’s true, nothing can keep you apart”

Taeyeon feels tears stinging her eyes, “I can’t watch you take him”

“Then you walk away” Sungmin says, “walk away with him laughin”

Taeyeon backs up and watches him swing back and forth. She turns, crying, and walks away slowly, listening to Jamie howl with excitement as Sungmin pushes him higher and higher. She looks back once to see him leaning back in his swing, his little legs up in the air, and she keeps going.

When she looks back again, they’re gone.

…

…

Taeyeon sits in her car staring at the steering wheel. Her face is sore, chapped and red, and her eyes are puffy, but she feels numb to it all.

After she left the park she’d driven up to the bluff, where she’d taken Sunny all those months ago, and let it all out. She cried about things she hadn’t thought of in years, but her mind would always go back to Sunny. To her James. To that empty swing that still swayed slightly when she looked back.

A knock on the passenger window brings her out of her haze. She looks over and sees her daughter smiling and waving at her. Taeyeon’s not really sure how she even got home.

Sophia tries to open the door, but it’s locked. Taeyeon presses the button and all the doors unlock.

“Hi Mum” Sophia greets as she opens the door, “why are you sitting in your car?”

“Just thinking, darling”

“You’ve been crying”

“Yes, I have been”

“Is Jamie ok?”

If Taeyeon had any tears left, she’d cry.

“Yes, he’s fine”

Sophia shuts the passenger door and Taeyeon spies her in the mirrors walking around the car. Her arm falls off the small arm rest when Sophia opens her door.

“Come inside, Mum, we’ve helped Emma make dinner” Sophia smiles, holding out her hand.

Taeyeon pushes the release on her seatbelt and takes her daughter’s hand. She looks toward her house and sees Bella running out to them.

“What’s wrong now?” Bella asks, taking in her mother’s appearance.

Taeyeon takes a deep breath and puts an arm around each of her daughters as they walk together toward the house.

“We need to talk…”

They both look up at her. Bella shrugs, but Sophia leans her cheek on her mother’s hand.

“You’re going to be alright, Mum”

my heart is ing hurts.. its hurts .. its really hurts

this is it. i don’t want to fall in love again.

not anymore.

"People who are meant to be together will always find their way back to each other. They might take detours in life but they're never lost."

yes, i guess that's it . sorry for everything and thanks so much for the love guys.

see you next time ;)

oh i'd love to see comments for this ending hehe