Trying

Not Anymore

She goes about her evening routine in somewhat of a daze. The toothbrush seems to move in and out of of its own volition as she stares at herself in the bathroom mirror.

When she woke up this morning surrounded by jungle-animal print wallpaper, Taeyeon never thought her day would end like this: Back home, brushing her teeth well after midnight, Sunny in the hospital with a broken wrist and bruised ribs and a mild concussion - it was almost too ridiculous to believe. And so after she put the kids to bed, she allowed her mind to detach for a few minutes, just for a break; just so the feelings couldn’t consume her completely.

And it worked, because by the time she’s pulling the covers over her shoulder, facing west, listening to the sound of the sea, allowing reality to sink back in, she’s ready to face whatever tomorrow brings.

As her eyes blink sleepily, Taeyeon reaches over and opens her nightstand drawer. She pulls out her Kindle, the bundle of birthday and Mother’s Day cards from the girls wrapped in a rubber band, a love note Tiffany had written her when they dated, and she sets them on the nightstand. Her hand reaches back inside the drawer and finds what was buried beneath the other treasures, pulling it out. Taeyeon replaces the other things back inside the drawer and picks up the item that she’s kept hidden for two years; the one thing she didn’t keep packed away when she and the girls moved in, but hid it nonetheless. She sets it on the nightstand and folds her hands under her cheek as she stares at it.

She had tried all day to catch her in a candid moment, but every time she pointed the camera at her, Sunny would look up and smile, as if she knew Taeyeon was watching, as if she could feel it. And it was only when Sunny sat in the yard speaking with her mother, distracted by her mum’s ramblings, no doubt, that Taeyeon finally found an opportune moment and zoomed in with her camera, quickly capturing Sunny’s profile before being wrestled to the ground by Jamie and the girls.

Taeyeon smiles at the memory as she studies the photo, her eyes following the shape of Sunny’s face, her cute nose, and her perfect lips. But it’s the hair that stands out the most. The fiery blonde that set Sunny apart from all others; that color that made her stand out in a crowd, that color Taeyeon spent the last two years - intentionally or not – searching out whenever she was in a grocery store, or a mall, or even just sitting in traffic. And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed when she first saw Sunny at the Getty, with her long brown hair up in a high ponytail. But the natural color has grown on her and Taeyeon couldn’t imagine Sunny any other way than she is now.

The knock causes her half-lidded eyes to open wide.

“Come in” she calls out, turning over to see which of the three it will be, silently congratulating herself for thinking ahead and wearing a tank top and pyjama bottoms to bed. The door opens a crack.

“Can I sleep with you tonight, Mom?”

Taeyeon pulls her hand out from beneath the covers and holds it out to her daughter. “Of course, darling, come and cuddle”

If someone had asked her to pick one out of the three that might end up in her bed tonight, Taeyeon would never have picked Bella. But here she is, scooting under the covers, wrapping her arms around her mother’s waist, cuddling into her chest.

“Sunny’s going to be ok, right?” she asks, as her mother her dark hair.

“Yes” Taeyeon answers, kissing the top of her head, “she’s going to be fine”

Bella looks into her mother’s eyes, searching. And when she finds nothing but truth in them, she relaxes in her arms.

“I don’t want you to worry about Sunny, ok?”

“Too late for that” Bella dryly retorts.

Taeyeon sighs and rubs her daughter’s back. “Well, try just the same. You have school starting next week, and I want your mind focused on all things ten-year-old”

“Yeah, I know, I’m thinking about that stuff too”

“Mm? What kinds of things are you thinking?”

“Like…I might want to cut my hair before school starts…and, maybe, I don’t know, get a new book bag”

“I see. What kind of haircut are you thinking about?”

“Maybe something…short…shorter. And maybe I can donate my hair to Locks of Love, or something”

It makes Taeyeon’s heart swell, and she has to close her eyes and squeeze her eldest daughter tightly and wonder how, after everything they’ve been through; after all of the she’s put them through, how they turned out to be such compassionate, intelligent, beautiful young ladies.

“That’s a very noble reason to get your hair cut – I’m proud of you”

“Well…first I thought about the haircut, and then I thought about donating it. Still proud?”

Taeyeon laughs out her nose. “Always”

There’s another knock on her bedroom door.

“Shall we take bets?” Taeyeon asks Bella.

 “It’s Sophia, I know it” Bella says confidently.

“Hmm, not fair, you’ve got twin intuition to your advantage”

The door opens before any wages can be exchanged.

“Why didn’t you say come in? I heard you talking” Sophia says.

Taeyeon smiles at the hand on her daughter’s hip. “Sorry, darling, we were gambling”

Sophia furrows her brow. She closes the door and walks across the room to the bed. “Can I sleep in here, too?”

“There’s plenty of room” Taeyeon tells her.

Sophia’s just settling in next to her sister when Taeyeon’s bedroom door swings open and hits the wall.

“What’s everybody doing?” Jamie scurries across the room to Taeyeon’s side of the bed and hops onto it, landing on his knees.

His eyes bring Taeyeon crashing back to reality. Not that she’d forgotten about Sunny, but she had been sufficiently distracted by her daughter before his identical Sunny-eyes looked at her for all the answers to life.

But she won’t let the negative thoughts from earlier in the evening back in. Not when she’s responsible for her daughters’ well being, and for the well being of Sunny’s son.

“You may go and shut the door, James. And then, if you like, you may get into bed and stay the night with us girls”

“Ok!” he says excitedly and far too loudly for the time of night. He slams the door shut and is back on her side of the bed in a flash.

Taeyeon looks over at her daughters. “Scoot over ladies, make room for one more, please”

Jamie doesn’t wait, climbing in as Taeyeon is still making room for him, grabbing her arm and kissing it, forming himself into a fetal position at her side.

Taeyeon takes her arm from between his and stretches over, and with one final look at the photo of Sunny, she switches off the small lamp on her nightstand and wraps her arm around Jamie’s curved back, rubbing it comfortingly. He nuzzles into her side, the top of his head pressing into her armpit.

Bella’s cheek is still pressed to her mother’s chest, and Sophia turns and spoons her sister. Taeyeon’s other hand finds Sophia’s somewhere between the two girls, grabbing it and squeezing it once.

“Goodnight, everyone” Taeyeon says into the darkness. And three quiet goodnights later, the room falls silent…except for the sound of the sea.

...

...

...

For five hours of sleep, in a bed with three unconsciously active children, she’s feeling quite refreshed. The warm shower water cascades down her long body, washing away the drool Jamie so generously left on her arm. With one last rinse, she turns off the water and steps out of the tub, grabbing her towel off the pole and putting it to use.

She dresses inside her closet, because of Jamie. She knows if Sunny was around she’d tell her that she was being ridiculous, perhaps even call her a prude. But dressing in her bedroom, where the kids are all still sleeping soundly in her bed, and risking a curious young boy waking up and seeing her , engaging her in conversation about her s, or something equally as awkward…well, she won’t have it. So she dresses quickly, not bothering to blow dry her hair or put on make-up, tying her hair up in a messy wet bun, and pinning the stray hairs back, shrugging at herself in the mirror hung on the closet door.

The room is slowly filling with light as she tiptoes across it toward the door.

“Mom…?” the whisper stops her.

Taeyeon walks back to the bed where Bella is sitting up between a sprawled out Jamie and a peaceful Sophia.

“Where are you going?” Bella yawns.

“I’m off to the hospital. I want to be there when Sunny wakes up, and when the doctor makes his rounds”

Bella nods groggily. “Can we come too?”

“Maybe later, darling, I’ll call you in a bit. Emma’s downstairs, alright? Scoot down and go back to sleep now” Taeyeon kisses her own hand and reaches over Jamie, pressing it on top of Bella’s head. “I love you. Look after your sister and this one here” she whispers to her daughter.

“I will” Bella whispers back. “Love you, too”

...

...

...

Her legs aren’t getting her there as quickly as she wants them to, but short of running down the hospital corridor, there isn’t much she can do to get to Sunny’s room any faster.

Her eagerness is short-lived, though, when she walks into the room and finds someone sitting in the chair she expected to be sat in all day.

“Hi” Sunny greets, with a huge smile and a chest full of surprised happiness.

“Morning”

“Hey, Taeyeon”

“Sooyoung” Taeyeon nods curtly.

“Well” Sooyoung turns to Sunny, “I should get going. Our office is, what, twenty miles from here? But it’ll take me an hour to get there” she chuckles, and Taeyeon rolls her eyes.

“You don’t need to leave” Sunny says to her, and Taeyeon shoots Sunny a look.

“I know, but I do need to get to work. I missed a meeting yesterday because I was playing hero” she winks. “So I’ll stop by your house and pick up a few things and we can put the finishing touches on the book tonight. Sound good?”

Sunny smiles gratefully, nodding. “Thanks, Soo”

“Welcome” Sooyoung stands and kisses Sunny’s cheek, and it takes everything in Taeyeon to not leap over the bed and wring her smug little neck. “I’ll see you later”

“Ok, have a good day”

“You too. Be a good patient” Sooyoung warns with a playful wag of her index finger.

Sunny laughs. Taeyeon locks her jaw.

“Taeyeon” Sooyoung says on her way out.

“Goodbye” Taeyeon bids, her icy eyes following Sooyoung out the door, lowering the temperature a few degrees at least.

When the door closes, Sunny clears . Taeyeon looks back at her, swallowing thickly.

“She did kind of save my life, you know. And the lives of these babies”

Taeyeon sighs and slumps her shoulders. She drops her briefcase and the bag of goodies she brought for Sunny next to the wall and rounds the bed.

“Do I have to like her?”

“You might be grateful”

“Because she did what I wasn’t there to do?”

“What? No, of course not; that isn’t what I meant at all. Just…can you tolerate her…for me?”

Taeyeon quirks an eyebrow and smirks. “For you, I can do anything”

It’s obvious from the way her face relaxes and her eyes go all doe-like, that Sunny wasn’t expecting that reply.

Taeyeon sits and scoots the chair closer to the bed. “How are you?”

“Well. I mean, I feel better. My mind is clearer”

“Good. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke”

“Don’t be” Sunny tells her, and wants to ask for a kiss so badly. “How are the kids?”

“All happily sleeping in my bed”

Sunny laughs and winces all at once.

“Jesus, Sunny, don’t laugh” Taeyeon scolds her, worried black eyes scanning her gown-covered body.

“Don’t make me, then” Sunny throws back.

“Are they giving you any pain medication?”

Sunny breathes out shallow breaths until the pain subsides. “Just some acetaminophen; I don’t want anything stronger that might have an affect on the babies”

“Stubborn woman” Taeyeon says, shaking her head.

Sunny smiles sweetly, and Taeyeon knows she’s a goner.

“It seems your babies enjoy hospital food” Taeyeon observes, moving Sunny’s empty breakfast tray out of her way.

Sunny rubs her belly, pensive. She nods in agreement a few minutes later, after waiting to see if the nausea would kick in or not. “All this time they’ve wanted bland food and tapioca…and there I was making them crepes and chicken parmigiana”

Taeyeon laughs as she washes her hands. She has to admit the last two hours have been rather perfect. Sitting with Sunny and chatting, and watching her take a short morning nap.

Listening to Sunny tell the story of why she was on a ladder and how she fell. There aren’t any thoughts of doom and gloom, or worries about what comes next. But when the doctor walks in while Taeyeon is drying her hands, her chest tightens.

“Morning, doctor” Sunny welcomes him and uncovers herself.

Taeyeon pulls the chair back and stands off to the side, crossing her arms and biting her lip.

“Doctor, this is my…” Sunny glances at Taeyeon, “friend Taeyeon”

The doctor nods at Taeyeon while he puts on a pair of latex-free gloves. She nods back.

“Any pain this morning, Sunny?” he asks as he lifts up her gown.

Taeyeon doesn’t know why but she averts her eyes, as if seeing anything other than the skin of Sunny’s arms and legs might hurt her, or even worse…

“My side has been hurting a bit. Mostly when I take very deep breaths or laugh”

“There’s no laughing in hospitals, Sunny, don’t you know that?” the doctor winks playfully.

It makes Sunny giggle. And as she winces the doctor presses harder on her ribcage. The sound Sunny makes causes Taeyeon to stand at attention and take a worried step forward.

She couldn’t look away now if she tried.

“Perhaps a bit more than bruised” the doctor mumbles, as one of his hands presses gently on the other, all along Sunny’s right side. “I’m going to order another ultrasound, just to safe. And maybe an x-ray of those ribs”

Sunny nods with concerned eyes, and Taeyeon approaches the bed, taking her hand. She glances at Sunny’s pregnant belly, cursing the fluttering in her own when she does.

“Can it hurt the babies, doctor, if it’s more than just bruising?” Sunny asks.

“Not likely”

Taeyeon squints trying to read him, trying to get a sense of what kind of a doctor he is. She had terrible experiences with the doctors who treated Tiffany. They’d lied to her continuously; giving her false hopes when, really, there was no hope at all.

But she doesn’t see deception anywhere on the older man’s face, and so she nods reassuringly when Sunny looks up at her for support, patting her hand comfortingly.

“I’ll be by later, and we’ll talk about the results”

“Thank you, doctor”

“Rest, Sunny” he orders, before walking out the door.

“You heard the man” Taeyeon says loudly, and she walks over to the window to close the curtains. “You need rest, and I’m going to make sure you get it”

Sunny lies still as Taeyeon presses the button that lowers the bed. “I’d much rather talk with you, or just lay here and stare at you” she says openly.

Taeyeon pulls the chair closer to the bed and sits down, taking Sunny’s hand in hers. “I know I’m a magnificent specimen of a woman and everything Sunny, but you can’t spend all day just staring at me” Taeyeon presses a hand to Sunny’s mouth quickly. “And don’t laugh!”

Sunny scrunches her face up and holds back the laughter. Taeyeon takes her hand away.

“Sleep, yeah? I’ll be here when you wake…I’m not going anywhere”

Sunny lifts her hand and Taeyeon’s cheek. “I really could stare at you all day”

Taeyeon feels her heart speed up, and her body stiffens for a moment. But she pushes the anxiety down and leans her cheek against Sunny’s hand, whispering, “I know the feeling”

...

...

...

They’re both asleep when the tech comes in, rolling a large machine with her to perform the ultrasound. It was easy for both of them to fall asleep to the soundtrack of the day - rainforests and pan flutes have nothing on fetal heartbeats. Taeyeon bends her neck from ear to ear, cracking it as she sits up in the chair.

“Am I alright to sit here?” she asks the tech.

“Yeah, you’re good” she tells Taeyeon, as she presses buttons that make short digital sounds. She puts on a pair of gloves and tells Sunny she’s going to lift up her gown. “Cold gel” she announces, before squirting a glob of clear goop right below Sunny’s belly button.

All eyes are on the screen of the machine as the tech rolls the wand across and up and down Sunny’s belly.

“There we go…” the tech says, and the grainy black and white image causes Taeyeon to slowly tilt her head and widen her eyes.

Sunny reaches for Taeyeon’s hand without taking her eyes away from the screen. Taeyeon has to work hard to swallow the heavy lump that’s forming in .

“How do they look?” Sunny asks.

“So far so good” the tech smiles.

When Sunny finally tears her eyes away from the screen and looks at Taeyeon, she smiles hopefully at her. But Taeyeon doesn’t return her enthusiaism.

Sunny can read Taeyeon’s face immediately and doesn’t hide her disappointment, waiting for Taeyeon to look back up at her, before smiling weakly and turning back to the monitor.

“I’m not your OB, and I probably shouldn’t do this…” the tech starts, capturing both women’s attention “but would you like to know the of your babies?”

Sunny looks at Taeyeon, beaming again, but Taeyeon just shrugs.

“They’re your babies, Sunny”

Sunny sighs painfully and turns back to the technician, shaking her head. “I think I’d like to be surprised, actually”

“Okay, then. Would you like a printout?”

“Yes…please”

A few minutes later, it’s just Sunny and Taeyeon and the two heartbeats again. Taeyeon tries to be distracted by her phone while Sunny stares at the new printout.

“We haven’t really spoken about this”

Taeyeon looks up. Sunny keeps her eyes on her babies.

“About what…?”

Sunny turns the small paper so it’s facing Taeyeon. “About this. About them. About all of us”

“I…”

“I know you said that you aren’t really sure about anything, but you also said that you don’t want to be with anyone else”

“Perhaps this conversation should wait until…”

“No” Sunny cuts her off, “I need to know now, Taeyeon”

“Need to know what, exactly”

Sunny forces her to take the printout. “I need to know how you feel about them. Because if you don’t want any more children then…”

Taeyeon reamins calm. “Sunny, really, we can talk about this later”

Sunny shakes her head as tears start to form in her eyes. “I don’t want us to get closer and then have you decide you can’t be with me because…”

The door opening stops Sunny mid-sentence. Jessica and Yul walk inside, pushing a stroller with a fussy Eden in it. Yul immediately picks her up and walks around the room with bounce in her step.

“How’s our favorite little daredevil?” Jessica asks Sunny, leaning against the chair Taeyeon’s sitting in.

Taeyeon and Sunny glance at one another.

Jessica looks between them a few times. “, did we walk in on something here?”

Conflicting answers fly out of Sunny’s and Taeyeon’s mouths.

“I told you we should have called first” Yul scolds her wife, bouncing quicker as Eden’s fussiness turns into a full-blown cry. “I’ll take her out into the hall” Yul says.

“No” Taeyeon says, standing up, “you stay. I need to call home and check on the kids” she mumbles, and walks out quickly.

Jessica stays in her relaxed position, until she locks eyes with her wide-eyed wife and takes the hint. “I, uh, I guess I’ll go and help her call home?”

And she walks out just as quickly.

...

...

...

 “…It just seems like whenever we make even the slightest bit of progress, she pulls away”

“Taeyeon cares about you. She probably just wants you to recover before you two talk twins and blended families” Yul tells Sunny, as she pats Eden’s bottom gently.

“Well I want to talk about it now”

...

...

...

“…She wants to talk about the rest of our lives, Jessica. I can barely think about what’s going to happen tomorrow” Taeyeon confides.

Jessica sighs and sits down next to her friend. “Listen, Taeyeon…if it was any other day or any other woman, I’d say stick to your guns. But this is pregnant Sunny in a hospital bed. Your pregnant Sunny…”

“She’s not mine…”

Jessica shuts Taeyeon up with a look.

“It’s not going to kill you to tell her how you feel”

“I don’t know how I feel”

“Yes, you do”

Taeyeon buries her face in her hands.

Jessica crosses her arms. “What are you doing here, Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon looks over and shakes her head. “What?”

“Here, in the hospital. Why are you here?”

“Because I…because she needs me”

...

...

...

Sunny’s talking on the hospital phone when Taeyeon goes back into the room. Jessica and Yul had only stayed a while longer, so Taeyeon decided to take a walk down to the gift shop clear her mind.

Sunny glances up and Taeyeon smiles apologetically at her. She sits back in her chair and puts a small gift bag on the bed. The corners of Sunny’s lips twitch at the sight of the bag as

she listens to the person on the other end of the phone.

Taeyeon quickly concludes that Sunny’s talking to Sooyoung and she has to stifle an eye roll.

“…Ok, yeah…thanks for calling. Ok, bye”

Taeyeon takes the phone off the bed and puts it back on the small side table after Sunny hangs it up.

“Everything alright?” she asks.

“Yeah. Sooyoung can’t make it tonight…some last minute meeting or something”

“You look upset about it”

“No…not upset. But we only have one more day to get the book in order and I’m worried we won’t make it”

“You need to not worry about anything right now, Sunny. You need to heal”

Sunny shifts slowly, flinching when the pain in her ribs shoots through her. “This is for my life, Taeyeon - this book. I’m counting on it doing well so I can make a better life for me and my children”

“You seem to be doing alright for yourself”

“Alright isn’t good enough. Especially now with the babies…”

“I can help you…”

Taeyeon stops when Sunny shakes her head and looks away.

“I’m sorry about earlier” Taeyeon says quietly. “I…I just…can I just say that, if things don’t work between us, it won’t be because of your babies”

Sunny slowly turns her head and faces Taeyeon, who hands her the small gift bag. She holds it steady while Sunny reaches inside of it with her good hand and pulls out a small, pale green photo album, decorated with a pair of baby booties on the front cover.

“It’s for your printouts; I thought they should have a permanent place”

Sunny cries immediately. Taeyeon drops the bag on the floor and grabs some tissue from the box on the side table.

“Come on now, it’s only a silly album”

“No, it’s not” Sunny sniffles, “it’s the most perfect gift ever”

Taeyeon nods because she has to. “Ok…it’s the most perfect gift ever. No more tears, now” she hushes Sunny, wiping her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I tried to force you to talk” Sunny says shakily.

“No you’re not” Taeyeon smirks, throwing the tissue in the empty gift bag.

Sunny swipes at her playfully with the photo album. “Stop it. Don’t aggravate my hormones”

Taeyeon grins and picks up the sonogram picture from the table. “Let me…”

Sunny hands her the album and watches as Taeyeon carefully pushes the small paper inside a clear pocket.

“There. Much better” Taeyeon smiles, taking a deep breath as she looks at the fuzzy image. “I never could make anything out clearly in these things” she says. “Congratulations, it looks like you’re going to give birth to a squirrel and a banana”

Sunny snatches the album out of her hand, laughing as much as her pain will allow, a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks. She looks at the image of her unborn babies.

“Whatever they are, whoever they are…” Sunny says, looking right at Taeyeon, “I’ll love them completely; with all my heart”

...

...

...

Taeyeon wipes the dirt off the spare key and inserts it into the lock. She closes the door behind her and feels around the wall for a light switch. Walks a few steps and picks up an overturned box, carefully re-folding the clothes that have fallen out of it.

It’s all still there: the ladder on its side, the two boxes, clothes strewn about the floor. It makes her realize just how seriously Sunny could have been hurt, how seriously her babies could have been hurt.

After setting up the ladder and picking up the mess of clothes, Taeyeon finishes what Sunny started out to do, and places the two boxes full of Jamie’s old clothes, which Sunny wants to save in case one of the babies is a boy, on a high shelf in the hall closet. She folds up the ladder and leans it against the shelves in the closet, shutting the door and taking a deep breath.

She sifts through the boards and papers on the dining room table, looking for the specific ones that Sunny finally convinced her to come and get and bring back to the hospital. She stacks them neatly and puts them by the front door, checking the list that Sunny made her write down, and heads down the hallway to Sunny’s room.

Taeyeon fights off the urge to smell the dressing gown Sunny requested as she folds it, putting it in a bag and turning off Sunny’s bedroom closet light. She’s only been in here once before, very briefly, so she takes some time to look around, just as she had caught Sunny looking around her bedroom all those weeks ago. She picks up some familiar items, trinkets mostly, that she remembers from Sunny’s apartment, and they make her smile sadly.

She sits down on Sunny’s unmade bed, and this time can’t resist picking up a pillow and inhaling deeply. Taeyeon’s hugging it to her when she spies the photo of herself on Sunny’s bedside table. She knows Sunny hasn’t had it hidden away in a drawer the past two years, like she did, and she wishes she could be braver when it comes to Sunny.

...

...

...

“You just missed the doctor” Sunny tells her when she walks in.

Taeyeon makes a frustrated face. “I told you he would come while I was at yours” she says, and puts the bag of Sunny’s things on the floor. “What did he say?”

“He said everything and everyone” Sunny pats her baby bump, “looks fine”

“…And?”

“And I can go home tomorrow” Sunny beams.

“Tomorrow” Taeyeon furrows her brow. “So soon?”

Sunny smiles and nods.

Taeyeon sits in her chair and looks Sunny up and down. “I don’t think you’re ready”

“I’ll be fine, Taeyeon”

“But you can barely move”

“I can move…slowly”

“But…”

“I’ll manage, Taeyeon” Sunny says, and there’s finality in her tone. “Now, did you get something for dinner?”

Taeyeon shakes her head.

“I knew you wouldn’t” Sunny squints. “Go to the caf and get something”

“I’m alright”

“Go” Sunny orders.

Taeyeon sighs frustratingly. “Fine…but I’ll be right back”

And Sunny smiles victoriously.

...

...

...

“So…”

“So?”

Taeyeon bites her lip. “I’ve been thinking…”

Sunny looks up from her story notes and glances out the window at the dark sky. “That’s always dangerous”

Taeyeon pulls a face, and Sunny grins as she looks back down at her notes.

“I think it would be best…I mean, until you’re better…because you’re going to need help with James…and there’s the guest room downstairs…Emma will be there to help a few times a week…and you can get some proper rest…”

“You’re trying to tell me something” Sunny teases.

“ off” Taeyeon fights back a smile. “You and James…you should stay…with us” she exhales, and thinks back to the time that she asked Sunny to move in while Jamie recovered.

Brown eyes widen as they looks into nervous black ones. “Oh”

Deep down Sunny knows Taeyeon is only being chivalrous, but she can’t help wishing it were more than that.

“You’re hesitant”

Sunny shrugs on her uninjured side. “Perhaps it’s not the best idea?”

“Why not?

And Sunny has to think about the answer to that question, because all she’s wanted since forever is to be with Taeyeon and the girls; to have all of them together, under one roof, living the life she denied them two years ago.

It’s when nervous eyes change to hurt that Sunny listens to her heart and her hormones instead of her mind, and accepts Taeyeon’s offer.

“Only until I’m well” she stipulates.

Taeyeon nods happily, nervously, all the while wondering what she’s just gotten herself into. “Of course…” she agrees, “only until you’re well”

....

....

....

....

So sorry this is late guys. (If anyone even still cares)


real life is kicking my .


Thanks, as always, for all the comments, votes and subscribers!

 

 

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KangRaejin
#1
Chapter 62: I’m not disappointed. I just too immersed with the story, and feeling insecure as well as Dandyu
KangRaejin
#2
Chapter 61: I like it author, a lot! I would mind to stick with you :) And probably, i will print out the pdf so i can read it like a book.
KangRaejin
#3
Chapter 60: Hi author! I’m not mad at you because same author, same! Me either don’t want this story to end.
KangRaejin
#4
Chapter 59: First, i’m telling you that i was smiling while commenting. Hehehe. Thank you sincerely for the whole eight months you spend on writing this story. You never fail to make me cry, laugh, and smile when i read all the chapter. I really enjoyed my time reading! My pleasure! It’s the most beautiful “Start Over”. Thank you for the messages, i will try to being proud of who i am, and who actually am. Well, i don’t want to say goodbye to “Not Anymore”, rather i would like to say see you again instead :)
KangRaejin
#5
Chapter 58: Yes. She loves you. Sunny loves you, Taeyeon. It’s a sure thing.
KangRaejin
#6
Chapter 57: No, you don’t need to apologize author. You’ve work really hard to make this fic. It’s not easy to keep up the story, but you make it! From the chapter 1 until now, you’ve gone through so many idea. Good job and thank you so much!
KangRaejin
#7
Chapter 56: It’s look like now… or never.
KangRaejin
#8
Chapter 55: I think this update is important. Because i read important words… “for Sunny” and “for our future”.
KangRaejin
#9
Chapter 54: Oh i almost forget that every meet have a goodbye, cause i don’t feel like this story to be end :( soon or not. But if it was your desicion author, then fine… i will really miss this story, miss jamie, bella, sophia, and Dandyu of course :(
KangRaejin
#10
Chapter 53: This fic deserve more upvote and subscibe, because of the great story itself. I almost tear up as Sunny while i read Taeyeon words… but thanks, Taeyeon correct it so she don’t hurt Sunny feeling