**this fic own mine and my brother's. we worked this story together.

“I’ll wait here” Taeyeon tells her daughters, “it’s right over there, room four-o-two” she gestures with her head.

“You’re almost there, Mum, just come with us” Sophia puts a hand on her back and presses.

Taeyeon shakes her head, “I’ll wait here for you”

Sophia and Bella look at each other and hold hands. Taeyeon watches them walk inside the room and come right back out.

“There’s no one in there, Mum”

Taeyeon’s stomach drops and she rushes to the nurses’ station, “Excuse me… James Lee, room four-o-two?”

“Oh, he’s down in the playroom” a nurse tells her, “it’s just around that corner” she points.

All three of them breathe a sigh of relief.

“You go on, I’ll be in the waiting room” she nods, encouraging them.

As she watches them round the corner, Taeyeon hears the click of heels coming toward her.

“Were you just asking about Jamie Lee?”

Taeyeon turns around and her heart jumps at the sight before her. It takes her a moment to realize who she’s looking at. Sunny’s sister. “You’re Hyoyoen”

“Yeah…” Hyoyeon looks her up and down, “are you a friend of Sunny’s?”

“Um, yes… kind of. I’m Taeyeon”

Taeyeon doesn’t get a chance to have another thought, all she feels is the sting of a slap.

“How dare you ing show your face here” Hyoyeon whispers loudly, and pulls Taeyeon by the arm into Jamie’s room.

Taeyeon is too shocked to say anything; all she can do is hold her cheek and stare into Sunny-like brown eyes. Very angry, Sunny-like brown eyes.

“You’ve got some ing nerve after what you did to my sister”

“I…”

“Do you know what you put her through?”

“I…”

“She’s going through hell right now and all she needed was a friend. All she wanted was you… God knows why” Hyoyeon adds, eyeing her up and down, “and you ed off and abandoned her”

“I’m so…”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear your apologies. You need to leave. Right now. I don’t want her to see you” Hyoyeon pulls Taeyeon out of the room by the elbow, but they don’t get very far.

Taeyeon stands between two sisters, dumbfounded. She can barely look at Sunny, and is afraid to turn around and look at Hyoyeon.

“I’m throwing her out, Sunny, don’t worry” Hyoyeon says softly, and jerks Taeyeon.

“Can you give us a minute, Hyoyeon” Sunny nearly whispers.

“Sunny…” Hyoyeon says, getting close to her sister, “you don’t want to talk to her”

“Will you go and sit with Jamie” Sunny looks at her sister, “Taeyeon’s girls are with him”

“Sunny…”

“Please, Hyoyeon”

“Alright…” Hyoyeon shakes her head and shrugs, “if that’s what you want” she turns and glares at Taeyeon before walking away.

Sunny walks around Taeyeon into Jamie’s room. Taeyeon slowly follows and stands just inside the door. Sunny is looking out the window and Taeyeon racks her brain for what to say next.

“You look thin” Sunny says and turns around, crossing her arms and lowering her eyes before looking across the room at Taeyeon.

“Please don’t do that”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t be concerned about me. Don’t be ing nice to me. I don’t deserve it”

Sunny doesn’t say anything, just looks at Jamie’s empty bed; the pillow covered with short strands of brown hair.

“He asked for you all day, every day” Sunny tells her, walking to his bed. She starts fixing the blanket and brushing the hairs off the pillows.

“I’m sorry” Taeyeon chokes out, “I’m so sorry”

Sunny nods, “So your text said”

Taeyeon rubs her sore cheek, “It’s good your sister’s here”

“Yeah… she arrived yesterday”

“Sunny…” Taeyeon walks over to her and reaches out a hand.

“Don’t…” Sunny steps back, “please don’t”

Taeyeon feels sick again and the tears drop out of her eyes involuntarily, “I’m sorry” she breathes.

“You can see him if you want” Sunny says, looking down at the floor, “he’s missed you this week” she walks around Taeyeon and stops in the doorway, “but please, don’t make him any promises you aren’t willing to keep”

Sunny leaves and Taeyeon breaks down, hitting her thigh with a tight fist as she’s left alone in a hospital room, surrounded by familiar equipment and smells. And the pain of today, and years past, overwhelms her.

…

…

She stands outside the playroom, watching through the large glass windows. Jamie sits at a small table, wearing a blue hospital gown and a mask that covers his nose and mouth. His hair is thinner and he’s attached to an IV stand, his hand and wrist wrapped in gauze. Her daughters sit on either side of him, chatting away.

The large room is littered with children; bald, wearing masks. Taeyeon feels her chest tighten and her legs tell her to turn and walk away, but she knows she can’t. Not again. Sort it out. Breathe. Just ing breathe.

Sunny is nowhere to be seen, but Hyoyeon is there and she looks far less threatening in a room full of children. Taeyeon takes a deep breath and walks inside, stumbling a bit as she makes her way to the table.

“Taeyeon!” he tries to sound excited but his voice is weak and muffled by the mask. Taeyeon squats down next to him and hugs him gently, minding the IV lines, “You were gone a long time”

“I was, James, and I’m sorry”

Taeyeon hears Sunny’s sister huff, but ignores her.

“Mama said you were away. Where did you go?”

Taeyeon looks at her daughters and then at Hyoyeon, “Would you mind giving the four of us a minute, please?”

“Where’s Sunny?” asks Hyoyeon.

Taeyeon shrugs and slowly shakes her head.

“What have you done now” Hyoyeon stands up and leaves. Bella moves to Hyoyeon’s chair and Taeyeon sits next to Jamie.

“I wasn’t away, James, I was at home”

Jamie furrows his brow, “Did your car break?”

Taeyeon shakes her head, “No”

“How come you didn’t come see me? We were going to get toys, remember?”

Taeyeon’s heart clenches. She holds his questioning gaze and notices how dull and tired his eyes look. Just like Sunny’s.

“I… I was afraid to see you, James” she finally confesses.

“But I’m not scary”

Even though she can’t see his mouth, Taeyeon can tell he’s smiling. “No… no, you’re not”

She searches for the right words. “Not long ago… Bella and Sophia’s mummy, she was sick just like you are, and…” Taeyeon looks at her daughters who both smile sadly at her, “it made me very sad and scared to see you sick like she was”

Jamie picks up a blue crayon, his mask moving in and out as he breathes through his mouth, “Oh…” he looks at Taeyeon, “well… do you want to color this car picture with me?” holds the crayon out to her.

Taeyeon laughs and tears roll down her cheeks. She presses a lingering kiss to the top of his head before taking the crayon, “Yes, James, I would love to color with you”

…

…

“What kind of toys are we going to get, Taeyeon?” Jamie crawls into her lap as they sit on a rug in the playroom. Taeyeon holds his IV line up so it doesn’t get tangled.

“Whichever kind you’d like” she cuddles him gently.

Taeyeon looks across the room at Bella and Sophia who have befriended a girl their own age, suffering from a brain tumor. She can’t help but feel proud of their strength and kindness, and ashamed of herself.

“How will I get to the toy store? Mama says I have to be here for awhile”

“Tell you what, I’ll bring my laptop next time and we can do some online shopping”

“What’s online…?” Jamie goes to take his mask off but Taeyeon stops him.

“You mustn’t take this off, James, you might get sick”

“I’m tired of wearing it” he whines, “it’s all wet and it’s itchy on my ears”

Taeyeon rubs behind his ears and looks for a nurse. “I’ll go and get you a new mask, alright? Keep this one on until I get back?”

“Ok…” he sighs.

Taeyeon waits for him to slowly make his way out of her lap and calls Sophia over to keep him company. She walks down the hall to the nurses’ station but no one’s there. She can hear voices in Jamie’s room and approaches the open door quietly.

“I don’t know why you’re letting her see him, Sunny…”

“He loves her”

“She’s a ing selfish coward”

“Hyoyeon…”

“God, Sunny, please tell me you’re not going to take her back”

Taeyeon swallows the lump in and leans her head closer to the doorframe. Sunny doesn’t answer her sister, and Taeyeon closes her eyes, pressing her back against the wall. She tips her head back and takes a deep breath.

“Taeyeon?”

“I…” Taeyeon stutters when she opens her eyes and sees Sunny, “was just looking for a new mask”

“Oh… well, it’s time for his nap anyway; he doesn’t need to wear one in his room”

Taeyeon nods, “I guess we should get going then”

“Alright” Sunny shrugs.

“Can I… would it be alright if I visit again?” Taeyeon wants Sunny to look at her, but she won’t. Looks everywhere but.

“You’re welcome to see him anytime”

Taeyeon takes a step toward her, “Sunny…”

Sunny crosses her arms, “I should go and get him” and walks away.

Taeyeon watches her and feels a ping of hope when Sunny stops and turns around. She walks to her but halts when Sunny backs up.

“Why did you decide to come back, Taeyeon?”

Taeyeon wasn’t expecting this question. She stares at Sunny, wide-eyed and silent.

“It was Bella and Sophia” Sunny answers for her.

Taeyeon can only lower her eyes and nod, and Sunny walks away without another word.

**this fic own mine and my brother's. we worked this story together.