Somewhere over the Atlantic, Taeyeon looks down on the clouds and sips on her second glass of champagne. She’d closed her eyes after take-off, trying in vain to sleep for the first hours of the flight. But thoughts of Sunny, thoughts of what she’s heading home to do, wouldn’t allow it. She’d hoped when she asked for the drink that it would quell the knot in her stomach.

But it didn’t. The second glass, however, is doing…something.

The flight attendant comes by and asks her if she’d like anything else before she takes away the empty glass, and if Taeyeon didn’t know better, she’d say she’s being flirted with. But it doesn’t interest her in the least, because all she can see, as her eyelids grow heavy, are the four sets of sad eyes as she said goodbye.

...

...

…

“you want to sell Seorae?”

“No, I want to give it away, to your Granny. She’ll make good use of it, or she might sell it and use the money for some wonderful project”

“You don’t want any reminders of her whatsoever, do you”

“If that were true, I wouldn’t want you”

“So you’re asking us if we agree, if we care that you get rid of it”

“It is yours; Mummy left it to the both of you”

“What would we do with a big, damp house?”

“Live in it, if you wanted to. When you’re older, if you were to visit Seoul…”

She jolts awake, and echoes of her daughters’ voices slowly fade away.

“I’m sorry Miss, we’ve arrived and it’s time to deboard”

Taeyeon clears . “Right, thanks” she says, stretching a bit, and running a hand through her mussed hair. Lifting the shade to the window, she looks out and sees the familiar sight of Incheon airport fog. The corners of twitch, followed by a lip bite, and Taeyeon unbuckles her restraint, takes a deep breath, grabs her carry-on bag, and walks out of first class as confidently as she can.

...

...

Even though it’s only been a short time, it’s a bit overwhelming at first. It always is. Being back; smelling the smells, hearing the sounds, seeing the haunts. It’s where she grew up; where she discovered who she was, where she loved and lost, twice. And now, it’s where she’s come back to do something that she knows is long overdue.

“Thank you” Taeyeon hands the taxi driver a note and steps out of the car, inhaling deeply as she steps onto the curb. The driver sets her case next to her and drives off, leaving her standing in front of the building she grew up in; a place in which she knows she’ll be comforted and safe.

She waves to a neighbor she recognizes, who’s peering out at her from behind a thick curtain, and laughs when nosy eyes disappear in a flash.

Her heels click against the old wooden stairs as she climbs them to the top floor, and she lingers on the second step from the top – the one that’s always creaked as if it’s about to give in but never does.

At the top, she leans against the dirty wall and knocks on the old green door she helped paint, the one she remembers running in and out of day after day.

“Who is it?” she hears from the other side of the door.

“Open up, old woman”

A series of locks and chains rattle the old door and it flies open.

“What the…Taeyeon!” Her mother’s arms open wide, and she doesn’t have the chance to say anything else before those familiar arms wrap around her and squeeze, as a warm cheek presses against her own. “What the hell are you doing here!” Arms drop and her mother’s steps back. “Where are my granddaughters?”

“May I come in, Mum?”

Sooyeon rolls her eyes, bending down and grabbing Taeyeon’s case and bag from her hands and pulling her inside. Taeyeon closes the door behind them, locking them in, and slides off her long coat, hanging it on a hook by the door.

“The girls are with Sunny, I came alone”

Sooyeon beams, and Taeyeon has to look away so as to not smile.

“I thought I’d surprise you” she says, reaching out to a shelf on her right and picking up an incense holder she made for her mum when she was seven, “I know how much you love surprises” she adds with an impish eyebrow, replacing the trinket.

“As much as you do, dear” Sooyeon replies, stepping forward and kissing her daughter on the cheek, then patting it a bit too hard.

Taeyeon just smiles.

...

...

“Yes darling, and Granny sends her love. How are things over there?”

“Sunny’s making breakfast, Emma’s on her way to get us”

“Getting ready for school, then”

“Yeah”

“Can I speak to Sunny, please?”

“Ok”

“I love you. Tell your sister the same”

“I will, Mom. Bye!”

There are some scratchy noises and the distinct sound of a stirring spoon being hit against the edge of a pan.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“How was the flight?”

“Long”

“How’s your mum?”

“How do you know I’m with my mum?”

“Just a feeling”

“…She’s good. Making tea”

“And how are you?”

“I’m good. Yeah…good”

She hears Sunny’s muffled voice telling Jamie to find his glasses.

“You sound busy, I should let you go”

“Yeah, it’s a bit chaotic at the moment”

“Not too much, is it? Because I can call Jessica and Yul and…”

“We’re fine, Taeyeon”

“Sure?”

“Yes”

“And are you feeling alright?”

“Just fine”

“You would tell me if you weren’t”

“I would tell you, yes”

“Then I’ll ring back later on”

“Ok”

“Bye then”

“Bye”

...

...

“If you sign here, it’s yours”

“I can’t take their home, Taeyeon”

“They don’t want it, Mum. They don’t even consider it their home, really. And they said if they come to Seoul that they’d much rather stay with you”

“What sweet girls” Sooyeon pours more tea into Taeyeon’s teacup and hands her the milk. She stirs her own tea and looks knowingly at her daughter. “What’s all this really about, dear?”

“All what? I’m trying to do something nice for you and your charity work. A place like that could be very useful to you financially”

Sooyeon raises her eyebrows.

“And I…”Taeyeon pauses and sighs, “I need to let it go, Mum. I have to. For me. For Sunny. For our future…if there’s one to be had”

“Of course there is, love” she pats Taeyeon’s knee. “And I’ll accept your very generous donation, if that’s what you really want”

“It is, Mum”

“Ok, dear” Sooyeon smiles, “ok”

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