12/7

Okay, I shouldn’t have ended that post like that so that’s why I’m back…I mean I didn’t even finish what happened at the animal shelter.

So as I sat there telling Yejun about everything, I didn’t make eye contact fearing that I was going to have a panic attack again. I didn’t want to make him feel more uncomfortable then he may have felt already.

I talked about how I left his house and got into the car with my parents, it was like any other day. Getting picked up at night after spending so many hours with him, such a normal thing that I wouldn't have thought anything different about it. No fear, no strange feeling, nothing that could have notified me that my life was going take a turn to the worse.

I was place on my booster seat, one of the aspects in how I’m still alive.

We started to drive away from Yejun’s house and I started fall asleep but was in so much joy for spending another day with my best friend.

And that's when I heard it...the screeching, the shattering glass, the painful yells, my name leaving my parents lips with a gasp, a bloody yell leaving my lips; one that I didn’t even know I had in me.

I yelled even before I opened my eyes because I was scared of the yells. Yet when I opened them I didn’t know what to do. My voice died out as I scanned the surroundings and all I saw was blood. So much blood that I thought it could have fallen from the sky.

I tried to yell again, I wanted my parents to tell me it was all going to be okay. Yet I couldn't find my voice. I just looked at what was felt from them and asked why was I still there. Why didn’t I wake from that nightmare. Why didn’t I just die with them. Some things that a five year old shouldn't have been thinking.

As I was saying all of this to Yejun, I was gasping for air as I was going into another panic attack. I could see my parents covered in blood, I could hear the yells all over again as if it were yesterday. The same nightmare was repaying without being asleep.

My hands found my neck and I started to squeeze the pain away. I needed to find control and I  was quickly losing it. I didn’t hear Yejun’s voice once again as the yells were taking over all outside noise. My heart beat was going overdrive and I thought my wish was somewhat granted. I was going to die there...in the same room where a complete stranger and a best friend where.

I didn’t know what happened or when I closed my eyes because next thing I knew Yejun was hugging me again and I didn’t see Kevin in the room. My hands were no longer around my neck but holding on to Yejun’s shirt. My heart was back to normal, slow but powerful beats.

I looked at Yejun and without saying a word, “I asked Kevin to leave, he didn’t want to but I didn’t care. You need me right now and I can't help you if he was here. He would have made you feel worse.” I didn’t know if he was right or not but I was glad he kicked Kevin out. I still needed to tell him everything. I needed to tell him about the granma, about the hospital, about the nurse who..did those things…I had to tell him so many things that I almost didn’t want to.

How could I just come back to broken and tell him my life when I left him. What right do I have in doing that? Just because I was so messed up didn't mean he would want to hear the rest.

“I don’t care so messed up you are, just please tell me everything….I’m your best friend…just tell me, I’m here for you.” Yejun said in a soft voice and I didn't know what to say.

I nodded my head and got ready to tell him the rest of my past. I hated to tell him but in the end I do need someone and it seems like Yejun is that person.

A/N: So it kinda sounds like its going to need but its not. Just wanted to make that clear, just in case...okay bye. >m<