Turns out that is wasn't Eli and Kibum but I can't say that I'm not happy it wasn't them. The person that entered the library was no one other then that new kid Kevin. Well he isn't classified as new kid but now the popular kid and I want no business with him. I have seen Kevin being around Eli and Kibum, I know danger when I see it. Talking to him equal my death in the worst way possible.

Yet we made communication and I feel like I can see my death soon. Why can't I just not having any communication from people? Why is it that there is always a small gap that lets people threw to come and talk to me? 

I will just write out the whole conversation/scenario that happen so you can understand. 

As I quickly logged out from my blog, I ran down one of the passage ways but somehow Kevin spotted me as I was running. As I hid in a corner facing the wall as precaution, Kevin must have already seen be do the movement to realize it was me.

"Why are you down there? Are you okay?" I heard his voice and once I realized it wasn't Eli or Kibum, I looked up to face him. 

In this situation I felt like I was looking at the angle of death for many reasons in which I don't really want to admit because I will feel weaker and stupid for. I know that it a horrible idea and that's why I don't want to express them. If I do well then I'm sure he will never leave my head..

I didn't know that to do, I knew that talking to him was the stupidest thing I can do and so I said, "I'm good, goodbye." Without wanting to do any other form of conversation I got up and was ready to leave. Only as I started to move away from him, he graved my wrist...WHY?!

When someone graves a person's wrist, the person is looking at their other face or wrist and guess which one Kevin was looking at. Yes you are right! I was my wrist and so he was the scars that was somewhat visible from my school uniform. 

He looked up to face me and I didn't know what to feel. Anger? Sadness? Panic? Ashamed? I don't understand why I couldn't look away from his eyes that hold so many emotions and for that reason I'm saying that he looks like an angle of death. I wanted to run away from his eyes but I kept my ground, waiting. Wanting to know what he was going to tell me. Waiting for the same response so many people have giving me through the years. Just waiting for a simple reaction witch I felt was taking a life time. 

"Um," He started but I could tell this was the first time he was a person so broken that cuts them self for control. "What happen? Why do you have...you know." I could tell he felt uncomfortable saying scars as he wanted to point out but didn't know how. I mean I can relate. It's hard for me to tell people that I have scars, it gave me panic attacks when I had to answer them.

Yet instead of having an attack, "I work at an animal shelter and the cats get scared alot and so I get pretty scratched up. Don't worry about these small scars. They aren't anything new." I lied. I lied! That was the first time I lied about the scars, all my life when this question came up I could never lie. I would have a panic attack and no one ever came back to ask. They would stay away yet there I was lying to him. Why? Why did I lie to him? What's wrong with me or should I say right?

I was relieved that the lie worked as he let me go and smiled. This smile was the one that got me. I felt horrible for lying to me and again I didn't understand why I let myself get carried away in how he felt. Why was I making a fool out of myself. Why do I have to feel this way....There I said it. I'm weak and stupid after all. There is nothing i can do now is there? 

Anyway, he looked at me and happily said, "Sorry I just got carried away. I must have made you uncomfortable, but where is the animal shelter around here? I want to go volunteer since I still need some credits. Oh you know what why don't we go together?" 

And that's when I notice I shouldn't have lie and my body should have had the panic attack. What am I going to do now?