That night I tried to call Gikwang. At first he wasn’t answering but after a few hour I tried again and finally he answered.

“Gikwang-ah, did you found her’

“Yes…But wait a second” Then I heard a door sound.

“Is Sooyoung at your apartment?”
 

“Well, yes and you should be grateful that I found her as soon as you called me. But Yoseob…is it true??”

“She already told you, did she?”

“Yoseob, I know what kind of person are you. I don’t think you would do that to her…”

“I have my reason…”

“WAIT!” Gikwang said that as soon as he heard the door sound. He was silent until I heard another door sound.

“Yoseob, I don’t know why you do that to her but I want you to explain to me later. I want to face to face with you. Sooyoung might hear me so I’m off first”

Well at least she safe with Gikwang…

(….)

This morning Gikwang called me and told that he’s going to take Sooyoung to his parents’ house. Well, I know that Sooyoung always went to Gikwang if she had problems…maybe Sooyoung doesn’t know about this, but Gikwang always told me what she told him.

She’s always like that…in front of me, she is the perfect girl…sometime I do think why she doesn’t show me her true self…

“I’m sorry for disturbing you, Yoseob sshi. Today you need to be examined again for your eyes” said a nurse that came into my room.

“But yesterday I already done that…”

“I know about that but this is an order from Dr Chaewon” the nurse tried to explain.

Chaewon noona?

“Well, if she said so…”

The nurse accompany me as she helped me with the eyes examination. Dealing with many machine, I do get bored. After a few hours, it’s done. Then I went to Chaewon noona’s room.

“Noona…” I said that as soon I opened her door.

“Oh, Yoseob-sshi. Are you looking for Chaewon?” A guy named Hyunseung greeted me. He was Chaewon assistant.

“Yes, where is she?”

“She went to the examination room to look at your eyes test result” he told me.

“Ooo…Hyunseung-sshi, can I asked something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Is it hard to get an eye donor??”

“Well…” he took a sit on a chair. “…that depends on the situation. If there was an accident and a person died, we usually asked the guardian whether we can or cannot take that person’s organ. In another way, there are some people who register to donate their organ, but that only happen if that person is already dead. Sometimes, we asked another hospital whether they got any donor” Hyunseung explained in details about it.

“It must take much time…”

“Yes indeed. After you found a donor, you need to examine whether the eyes is suitable or not to you. If not…you need to wait for another donor. Yoseob-sshi, I know that you want to recover and Chaewon really does work hard on it. So, don’t worry. We will try our best to find one for you.

I took a sit and looked at him. “I might don’t have any chance, right? All I can do is wait. Chaewon noona work really hard for me, but what can I do…nothing” I looked down. For once I thought that if I got a donor, I want to tell the truth to Sooyoung.

“Don’t be like that, Yoseob-sshi. We don’t know what will happen in the future, there will be a chance for you. Oh, yes. I also want to ask you. About that black out thing, in a day how many times do you experience it?”

“I think about 4-5 times. It happen for at least 2-3 minute”

Hyunseung wrote something on a file. “Well, I can see that it become longer, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“According to your report last 2 week, it only happen for 1 minute…”

“I don’t really notice it until you said that…is it a bad thing?”

“I can’t assume anything yet until the result is out. So I should advise you something before you discharge tomorrow. From now on limit yourself from driving car because you might get that black out when you are driving. This is very dangerous as it can lead to accident…”

“Ok, I’ll do that. Thank you, Hyunseung-sshi…” I stepped out from that room and slowly went back to mine.

Well, it’s getting worse. Maybe that why Chaewon noona want to do the test again.

(….)

The next day, Doojoon sent me home after a bit argument with Chaewon noona. The house was quiet and dark. After unpacking my stuff, I sat on a sofa in the living room. Looking around the house with memories playing in my mind.

“Yoseob-ah…welcome home…” Sooyoung came towards me and greeted me with her beautiful smile.

“Jagiya~~ what do you want to eat for dinner??” She asked me from the kitchen with her beautiful voice.

“Seobie-ah, let’s go to the park and have a picnic there…” she sat beside me, holding my hand.

“I LOVE YOU~~~” She hugged me tightly.

“Yang Yoseob-sshi, I will hate you for the rest of my life!!” she shouted at me as her tears fall down.

I wake up from the fiction world and back to reality. Sooyoung was not here. I’m alone in this house. Tears started to form. I never been so lonely before…

I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened again, it was as if I’m still closing my eyes. Dark, I can’t see anything. It’s blackout again. Then suddenly my phone rang.

Oh, no. My phone is in the room. I stood up and walked slowly to the room. First, I hit a table. Second, I broke a vase. Third, I slipped and fall down on the cold floor. I stay in that state. I’m too tired, too hurt to even reach my room, as if it way miles away. I hugged myself and started crying like a baby, thinking on how to take care of myself. If I can’t even take care of myself, how can I love Sooyoung?

After a few minutes, the blackout was gone but I still lying there.

Then I know what I should do now. I got up and change my clothes. As I want to take my car key, I remember something. I need to limit myself from driving. I left the key and quickly opened the front door.

For a moment I saw Sooyoung was standing there. I was too amazed…then ‘Stop it, Yoseob. She is not here, Stop imagining her’ said my inner voice. I quickly walked away while brushing off my eyes.

___________________________

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