The moon still had its pale light hovering across the whole lawn. Luhan said he’s downstairs but some force led me here outside. I know I have to talk to him no matter how gibberish my reasoning will be. And yeah, I told my mother that I would correct my mistake.

People makes mistake, right? Yet, I know too that we are given the chance to make it better. And this time is my chance to do it.

I spotted the one I was looking for. Heart racing, mind babbling and libido scrambling, I walked towards him. His hands were on his pocket and he was looking at the moon.

I saw him turn his head a little, as if he’d just notice a presence behind him. Before he could turn to face me, I raced toward him and hugged him from behind. I wrapped my arms on his waist and just held him tight. I closed my eyes as I waited for my heart to return to its natural pace, my breathing was heavy. It would be very impossible to loosen up things with me feeling this way. Shaking my head just to reassemble my thoughts, I whispered his name.

He made a move and tried to face him.

“No, don’t!” I stopped him and tightened my grip on him. “I can’t talk if you’d look at me. I need this kind of setting for me to be able to explain things to you.”

He didn’t speak a word.

“I’m sorry,” I began. “I was just surprised and I got scared. Cowardice got over me and I was too weak to fight it. I’m so sorry, Kris. I really do.”

“The truth is, I wanted to marry you too. But I’m afraid that you’d realize that once we get engaged, you’ve done the wrong decision. You might realize you don’t love me anymore and I don’t like that to happen. I don’t want that to happen. Because if it will… I can’t imagine the pain that I will suffer. It’s not because I don’t love you so I refused, but because I feared that you would leave me when reality hits you.”

“What reality are you talking about?” his voice was hard and cold. However, I didn’t loosen my grip around Kris. I needed him.

He managed to break my grip around him and I lifelessly placed my hands on my hips. Should I look him in the eye?

“The only reality I know is that I love you.”

I know. But it’ll change. You’re every woman’s ideal guy.

I kept staring at the ground, bouncing my spectacle on my toes to his shoes.

“I don’t care if I get rejected a lot of times. What matters to me now is that you’d realize how much I love you and that I would never ever let anyone hurt you. Not even myself.”

He cupped my chin and made me look at him.

“Don’t cry…” he whispered.

I only realized that my eyes were b with tears when he said that. “Can I… can I still change my decision” I asked, my voice cracking. I hated how my deep voice sounded today.

“I won’t force you to anything, Yul. I will wait for you.”

“But—”

“Shh,” he hushed. “I can’t take away your relationship status in just a blink of an eye. I know it wouldn’t be easy for you to be in a relationship then engaged the next day. I know you are a nostalgic person, Yul.”

“I don’t care about that anymore, Kris, okay? Xiumin, Chen, Lay, Luhan, Tao, my parents and you—” I aimed a finger to his rock-hard chest, and gave him a glare. “And even the moon, made me change my mind for good.” I chuckled. “I love you so much.”

I chuckled once again at his expressi