All through the night, all Karam could do was calm himself.  Changmin had told him and had made it clear. That he forever would just be a brother to him. Changmin just loved him as a brother. He was wrong. He was totally wrong that Changmin would love him as much in return. And now, Karam was too tired to think about it anymore. He found it easier to just block out the noise and the pain. Even if it made him feel lonely, it helped make things numb and therefore, bearable. He closed his eyes and let sleep overtake him.

When Karam slowly opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the soft pillow beneath his head and his blanket pulled up to his chest. He didn't remember what time he fell asleep, but for sure he remembered lying on his stomach, on top of the blanket and without his pillow.

'You came here last night, Baby. You cared about hyung.'

Karam reached for the table clock and saw it was time for him to get ready for school. Slowly, he slid out from under his blanket and went into the bathroom. As he stood in front of the mirror, he noticed that his eyes were swollen. It hurt him so much now knowing that his brother didn't love him the same way. But why did he have a feeling that his brother loved him more than that? Because Changmin kept saying "I can't." and not 'I don't.'.

"I hate you, Jung Changmin. Why do you have to be my brother! I don't want you to be my brother. I hate you!"

Karam blinked a few times. It wasn't a dream. It was real.

'What happened to me?' he thought. "He's my brother."  His ran his fingers through his hair as he mumbled. After finishing with his shower, he put on his clothes and went down to the kitchen.

Changmin was sitting at the table having his cereal. Two mugs of hot coffee were ready on the table.

"Morning, Baby."

"Morning, Hyung. Here, drink your coffee first. I know you need it." He pushed the coffee mug to Karam and then continued eating his cereal.

Karam nodded, marveling at his brother's calmness. He wondered how things had changed so quickly for him. 'Did he really mean what he said last night and now he can just forget everything overnight? Because of our parents?’ He sighed. 'Maybe he was right. I'm just a brother to him.'

Karam felt a twinge of regret for all the horrible things he had said last night.  "Baby, last night... hyung... is sorry. Hyung didn't mean to say that. Hyung doesn't hate you. You...you're my brother....."

"It's okay, Hyung. I understand. I'm not angry at all. Yes, of course you're my brother." Changmin cut him off. "Hyung, have your breakfast. Kyuhyun is coming to fetch me. I'm going to school with him." Just as he finished speaking, a car horn sound. "Yup, that's Kyu." Changmin took his bowl to the sink and washed it quickly. "Bye, Hyung." He kissed the top of Karam's head and walked out of the kitchen.

Karam just watched his brother's movements without saying anything. He knew how hard it must have been for Changmin to face him after what had happened last night.  He also knew Changmin tried to be tough and act like nothing got to him. But deep inside him, Karam knew that that wasn't true.

Karam leaned back in his chair, pushing his cereal bowl away as he took a deep breath. "Okay, if you want to pretend like nothing ever happened, let's pretend then, " he mumbled.

It took nearly two weeks, but the brothers did eventually return to normal. They both had been pretending like nothing had happened. Perhaps they were healed, or perhaps they'd only made their peace with it. Before, they felt secure when they were with each other. Maybe it was because they knew each other already, that it was never awkward between them because they understood each other on a level that most people wouldn't understand. But things had changed to a different level now. An awkwardness came between them. They distanced themselves from each other. Even so, they still joked around. Karam would wake his brother in the morning and they would have their breakfast together, but with limits.

It took every ounce of willpower Karam could muster to maintain his composure from pulling Changmin into hugs and planting kisses on his cheeks whenever he saw Changmin wasn't in a good mood. Karam found it really hard furthermore, since it was his common routine and now he had to stop it. But, he had learned to accept the limits of their relationship.

Meanwhile, Changmin had often observed a goofy grin plastered on Karam’s face whenever he became lost in thought. If Changmin had not known him better, he might have thought he was simply in a good mood, but he recognised that look. It really hurt him to see his brother like that. But he had to stop himself. And now, Changmin felt he missed his brother. He missed his gentle touch. His soft and warm kisses on his cheeks. Their laughter together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karam saw Seungho sitting alone having his lunch in the cafeteria. He walked to the table and took a seat in front of Seungho. “Seungho, I... I have something to ask of you," Karam stammered, as Seungho's eyes looked at him.

Seungho stopped eating and looked up at him. Did he hear him wrong? "You have something to ask from me? Am I hearing correct?"

Karam nodded.

"So…you need something. From me?"

Karam forced a smile on his lips. "More like want." He blushed a little, but didn't look away from him.

Seungho put down his spoon and tried not to think too much about what this could be. "O-Okay."

"I wanted to ask you if you want to skip the rest of the classes today and go out for a walk with me."

Seungho felt butterflies in his stomach. "A walk? Skip classes?"

Karam nodded. "Yeah, just to get out of here." He felt so desperate.

Seungho couldn't help the huge, dopey-looking smile that spread across his face. For months, he'd actually wanted to spend time with Karam alone. They spent two days a week in the library, but that was meant purposely for his tutorial lessons and Karam made it very hard to talk about non-related subjects; only the lessons planned. Shivers ran up his spine at the thought of being alone with Karam. "Yeah." He looked at Karam and smiled. "That sounds perfect." He tried to remain calm and relaxed, not wanting Karam to know how much this one little question meant to him. "Let's finish our food first. Its gonna be a long day."

They