Yoo Ha Na?

Karam's eyes were still wide open long after midnight. He tossed and turned in his bed, but he just couldn't fall asleep. He sat up with a groan. It was no use trying to fall asleep when his mind was racing. He didn’t understand why he felt so jealous when he heard her name from Changmin’s lips.

"What should I do!?" Karam didn't even realize he was talking out loud as he thought of his brother.

"Will I always feel like this?"

Karam's vision began to blur and his heart began to race. Sitting on his bed, he brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them tight. So this was what it felt like to have a broken heart. He felt the hot tears drip down his face. He had never cried before, never. But this time, his body refused to listen to that fact as he began to sob. He didn’t care what was going to happen to him anymore as he cried it out.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Key, do you have any plans for this Saturday night? I’ll be alone. Changmin got himself a date,” Karam asked Key on their way to the cafeteria.

“A date, huh? With Miss Yoo HaNa?”

Karam stopped in his tracks and looked at his friend. "How do you even know about that?" He lowered his voice down and stared at Key with a look of disbelief.

Key tilted his head towards him, nodded his head and said, “I think everybody knows about it by now,” Key answered.

“What do you mean?” Karam asked, startled a bit.

Key raised his right hand and pointed his finger to a corner of the building. Karam eyes followed the pointed finger and saw a couple standing at the staircase leading up to the rooftop. They were wrapped around each other, either gently or tightly, and snuggled together in liplock. "That’s what I mean."

Karam clenched his jaw tightly. The sight was really an eyesore for him. “Key, I’m hungry. Let’s eat.” Karam started walking without waiting for his friend's response.

Karam didn't utter a word while they queued for their meals. Key just watched him quietly. After getting his food, Karam immediately walked to their table and slammed his lunch tray down onto it. Key, who was following from behind, shook his head as he caught up to his friend.

Leaning back against his chair, Karam tried to distract himself from the scene playing before him by playing with the food on his tray. He had lost his appetite after seeing his brother intimately kissing his so called 'new lover'. It’s not the first time he had witnessed Changmin kissing a girl, but this time it was different. Maybe it was because of what Changmin had told him last night, that he felt comfortable with older women, and it had reminded him of his 'brother'. Changmin was looking for almost the same comfort, if not the same, as what his brother gave him. He wanted someone who would treat him like a baby, who would take control over him.

“I thought you said you were hungry just now.”

Karam didn’t answer. He was lost in his train of thought.

"Hey, is everything okay with you, Karam?" Key asked him.

Karam turned to his friend. "Just peachy, he muttered, with a slight smile on his lips.

"You are a horrible liar, Karam, " Key said softly.

Key was right, unfortunately. Karam couldn't lie to his friend. "I just…I can't tell you. I’ll work things out," he said, offering up what he hoped was a comforting smile.

In return, Key sighed. “Karam, he’s your brother. You’re hurting yourself. I hate seeing you like this.”

“I don't know, Key. I’m trying so hard to fight this feeling. I know this is stupid, but I can’t.”

“I know you love and adore your brother, but it’s wrong to be in love with him. Listen here, you're just upset that, you, as his comfort zone, is being replaced. That’s all. Take some time alone to think about it. You should be asking how to get over this childish crush you have on him.”

“We are not related by blood, Key. He’s my brother just by name. I love him, Key and it’s not just a crush,"  Karam confessed to his best friend.

“I know that Changmin was adopted and both of you are not blood related, but still... you're brothers. You grew up with him and you've known him for your entire life. People know both of you as Jungs and they will see it as , Karam. You need to distance yourself from him and start looking for a relationship with someone else." His eyes focused on Karam's. "Karam, you need to loosen your grip on your brother. That will help you.” Key gave his lengthy lecture.

Karam know that look, and wanted nothing more than to give into him, but he couldn't. Karam sighed. "I don't know, Key. I don't think I will like anybody else. I only think of him. I wish I could stop this," he said with a heavy voice.

"Think about your parents, Karam. How would they feel if they know that you love your own brother? I'm sorry to say this Karam, but for some reasons, I'm glad that your brother is straight."

Karam stared at Key. He sighed again. He knew that he should not look at his brother as anything other than a brother. Karam had always known that their bond was strong, but he never knew how strong, until three years ago when he got jealous of