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I crept back into the room after tucking the kids into bed. Carefully, I pulled the covers off my side of the bed and settled myself beside the sleeping figure of MinKyeong. I gently tugged a strand of hair out of her face and pushed it behind her ear. With the aid of the night lamp she had beside her, I noticed two tear stained cheeks. Upon that sight, I felt my own eyes sting with tears. Unable to contain my emotions further, I hurriedly slipped out of bed and scurried out of the room again. I leant back on the door as my eyes finally gave way. Cupping my face in my hands, I tried to silent my sobs, as I didn’t want to wake my children and MinKyeong up. Wiping away my tears, I braced myself up and decided against going back into my own room at the moment. Instead, I pushed gingerly at the white door of my children’s room and tip-toed cautiously into the darkness. Allowing myself to sit on the edge of MiEun’s bed, I gently her hair and cooed over how much she has grown in size, compared to when she was just an infant. I have always been curious about this: Life, growth, and death.

It’s weird how we can go through so much, and had them all taken away in just a second. Maybe, life is just mysterious like that.

MiEun twitched in shock at my touch, causing me to withdraw my hand almost immediately. Patting her slightly on the back, she quickly calmed down and her breathing became slower.

JunHyun.

Slightly loud and hyper.

 Protective, especially when it comes to his family.

Bossy, but takes good care of his little sister and is exceptionally confident for a boy his age.

At age five, he enjoys any kinds of sports and getting himself muddy and dirty, especially in a game of soccer.

Tall and slender, with soft facial features. His body lost of the baby fat he once possessed around his abdomen and limbs and in its place, are improved tones of muscles any active 5 year old should have.

He has a brilliant smile that never fails to make those around him happy as well.

If I may say so, he may just be the most handsome boy in the world.

MiEun.

A bubbly two year old.

Relatively quiet and has a sweet nature, and enjoys calmer activities like playing with her toys.

Surprisingly comfortable and alright with being knee-deep in mud admiring flowers and chasing after birds.

Doesn’t talk much for a girl her age (which, honestly, did worry MinKyeong a little), but does think a lot on her own.

Despite her quiet nature, she is active as well and a hugger.

Short for a toddler her age. Has doe eyes that always seem to be beaming at whoever she looked at as though saying, “you are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen!”

Definitely my little princess.

At age five and three, the two have an undying passion for stage performance despite the differences in their personalities. They always took pride in their works and were always so excited about giving Appa and Eomma a short performance after a long day of work. The smiles on their faces as they skipped about in front of us showing off a new move or song they learnt in school always makes my day. They are, without a doubt, my pride.

I tilted my head back, unwilling to let my tears fall even though I know no one was watching, as I allowed these thoughts to run through my mind. I am amazed by how much they have grown since the first time I cradled them and looked them in the eyes, saying delightfully, “Look at me, I am your appa!” But at the same time, I wondered what my kids will have to go through in the future. Will my bubbly kids still stay the same? Would they still jump around and proclaim their happiness like every other children do? Or will they retreat into quiet, introvert kids?  I very much knew MinKyeong didn’t have much longer, although I prayed every time that a miracle would appear. I was afraid my children to go through the same pain that I did when I was a child. Losing my mother at age 7 was definitely no picnic. Having my father brought my two brothers and me up by himself made me realize even more, the importance of a complete family, and the impact it left on the children in the family. I very much knew that half of the pain that MinKyeong felt, wasn’t the disease itself, but also the thought and fear of leaving us behind.

I remembered the previous night, she tucked herself into my arms thinking that I was asleep as she whispered softly about how she was actually afraid of leaving us behind. She knew very well the pain I felt when I was a kid and knew how I longed for a complete family. But I couldn’t blame her. Nobody wanted this to happen. Not her. Not me. Not the children. Her voice was eventually muffled by her sobs as she continued to mumble in an inaudible manner. Unable to tolerate it further, I opened my eyes, wrapped my other arm around her body and soothed her back. I didn’t know what else was there for me to do.

In my arms, we both talked deep into the night, where we eventually confessed our fears and how the future seemed to be coming so quickly. I never remembered myself crying that much since the day my mother left us. Knowing that I will eventually be losing someone I love to an incurable disease scared me further. As she looked me into the eye, right before she drifted into sleep, she promised that no matter what happened, she would never give up on herself, and that is all I could ever ask for now.  

Hey all! hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter!!!!!! this is sorta more... emotional? i guess ^^ anyways still, enjoy! ^^ Two updates on two consecutive days, i think thats an accomplishment :P 

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