85
Their Kingdom Panorama
/\_____/\
Turning around, Kyuhyun stared at his lonely guitar sitting on its stand by the wall. Getting up from his desk he reached for it and sat down on his fluffy bed.
“Just how long has it been since I’ve used you to comfort me?” he asked aloud. “The only real friend I’ve got.”
He ran his hand along its fine surface. Looking up toward his tinted ceiling he recalled Donghae who’d been intent on learning how to play it. Thinking of it, he’d never asked why he wanted to play it. Had he wanted to do it for Victoria?
Sighing he clutched onto the guitar remembering Victoria’s reaction when he’d first suggested fair play between him and Donghae. The two of them must have gotten nervous because of him and Victoria must have felt guilty seeing that she hadn’t told him the truth. Had he somehow pressured the two of them into breaking apart?
Whatever the answer to the question was, he couldn’t deny the fact that such a heavy amount of guilt had been dropping down onto his shoulders. No matter how hard he thought about it, there was still no answer to why Victoria had changed her answer within one night. Being near her now felt different. She felt cold and she didn’t even think about anyone, but herself anymore. The Victoria he knew had never been like that.
His bedroom door opened and the ahjumma poked her head in.
“Dinner’s ready, why aren’t you coming down?” she questioned.
“I was just thinking.”
“Victoria’s not here tonight,” the ahjumma walked in and took a seat at the desk, “I was kind of hoping she’d be here tonight.”
“It’s a good thing she isn’t here.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Hasn’t she been coming over too much?”
“Oh? But having dinners with your in-laws aren’t a bad thing. It’s actually good. This way Victoria can adapt to us faster and once you two get married there’ll be no difficulties. But why do you say that?”
Kyuhyun became quiet as he rearranged his thoughts.
“I feel like I’ve wronged her and someone who’s very important to her,” Kyuhyun started, “how do you get someone to return to who they were before?”
“Oh? What’s this?” the ahjumma sounded surprised. “Has something happened between you and Victoria?”
Kyuhyun set his guitar aside and leaned forward grasping his hands together, “Ahjumma, Victoria and I can’t marry each other.”
“What are you talking about? Haven’t you been very excited for this?”
“I was, before I was,” Kyuhyun answered, “but not anymore.”
“Why?”
“Ahjumma, is it still possible to put together something that has never been there?”
“Kyuhyun-ah,” the ahjumma cooed as she got up and sat down next to him, “my poor boy. Don’t be so down, everything will be fine. Everything will turn out alright.”
/\_____/\
The air felt damp, the steam floated toward the ceiling nonstop, and the air ventilator in the restaurant had been broken for hours. Victoria couldn’t breath, she was sweating, and her clothes were strikingly soaked.
“Aish! How are we supposed to deal with this?” Victoria wondered grabbing her shirt.
“You should have worn something more comfortable,” Eunhyuk pointed at her with his chopsticks. “Or maybe we should have gone to the sauna with Ryeowook and Yesung. Why are you always giving them money?”
“And you,” Victoria pointed at him, “should learn to wash more often. It’s disgusting sleeping in the same filth and sweat everyday. Where’s the allowance I’ve been giving you?”
Eunhyuk scratched his hair, “I’ve been keeping it safe.”
Victoria placed some more meat onto the grill and fanned herself with her hand.
“Are you ok?” Eunhyuk wondered.
“I’m just hot.”
“Not about that,” he pointed out. “As in general, are you ok?”
Victoria looked up at him with a frown which dissolved when she finally understood. For some reason it reminded her of the time when Donghae had asked her if she was happy.
“I’m good,” Victoria replied.
“Donghae’s been coming by lately,” Eunhyuk began, “although he doesn’t say it, but I feel that he comes to look for you.”
She turned away after stuffing some meat into .
“We’ve been telling him that you haven’t come by though,” Eunhyuk cleared himself up, “but, honestly I feel a little sad for him. You two really haven’t talked at all?”
“We’ve talked,” Victoria nodded looking at him, “he’s going to be attending my banquet this weekend.”
“Banquet?”
She nodded, “He said he wouldn’t come, but I know he’ll be there.”
“Is that good or bad?” Eunhyuk asked confused.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged, “but Lee Donghae’s no longer in my line of sight. I already have a fiancé.”
“I know,” Eunhyuk told, “what was his name again?”
“Cho Kyuhyun.”
“That…I don’t know,” Eunhyuk said, “but his name sounds…friendly.”
Victoria laughed at his silly comment.
“I’m sorry, I can’t invite you Musketeers,” Victoria apologized, “after it all ends I’ll pack some leftovers for you three.”
An hour later, Victoria climbed the rest of the walk up toward her house. If she hadn’t changed so dramatically she would have paused to stare at Mi Sun who was waiting for her, but now since things were different Victoria walked toward the door without even stopping. Mi Sun turned around to star at her back since she refused to acknowledge her existence.
“Victoria,” she called her name out so fearlessly.
Well, maybe because she hadn’t been awful enough toward Mi Sun. Victoria decided to do it just then.
Unlocking the door she said without turning around, “Not now.”
“Just a few words.”
Biting her bottom lip Victoria turned around, “If you’re going to ask if I’m up to something, I’ll answer you ‘Yes’, but it seemingly isn’t any of your business. Why don’t you stop ordering me around and go protect your friend, So Rae?”
“What?”
“You don’t get it?” Victoria questioned stepping away from the door. “About who Man Shik is, about me protecting So Rae, about me taking all the pain for this family, at this point in time I’m done with it. It’s all crap you and everyone in this family has decided to throw onto me. I thought you were a fine person from the start, but you don’t seem any different from them. I don’t want to associate with anyone of you because after I get into the Cho family I’ll never look back.”
Turning around Victoria slammed the door after her.
That night she lay in bed restlessly. Her eyes wouldn’t close, nor would sleep come to her. Staring up at the ceiling Victoria could only see the darkness of the night around her. For once, she couldn’t differentiate the feelings flowing through her. Were they good or were they bad? Sad or happy? Angry or depressed?
The mind itself was in a blank standstill. Was this how it felt to be empty after just a short while? Turning onto her side Victoria stared outside the window toward the full moon escalating above her room.
There really had been no meaning to her life, had there? Victoria had actually wanted to live life well after she’d left prison, but because she’d been pulled into this world she hadn’t been able to do a single thing. All this money she was earning weren’t coming from her own job, it was coming from her own family. All this gazillion money that could have saved her and her grandma from poverty had only decided to come too late. But now, it had no real meaning to her.
She had no wishes, no real determination that would do good for her. Her heart wasn’t as pure as it was before. Now, she only wanted to hurt others. She only wanted to triumph over the people who’ve sent daggers and arrows her way. She only wanted to show the people who’d oppressed her that she was capable of doing just the same.
But these days, it was all work in the office. When would she be able to take So Rae out of the company? When would she actually get married with Cho Kyuhyun? When would this life leave her?
“No, Victoria, your life did have meaning to it,” a voice at the back of her mind told her, “you had meaning to it when you loved.”
Victoria urgently threw her arm over her eyes.
“Stop it,” she thought.
She wasn’t going to love anymore, because loving was the center of pain. Victoria didn’t want pain anymore. She only wanted revenge against those meaningless pains she’d been given.
Victoria had fallen asleep for a short few hours. In the end, she forfeited to her awake mind, dressed, and left the house. After some short hour that went by she finally opened the old creaky door and walked into the home she’d shared with her beloved grandma. Slipping her shoes off she felt her eyes gaze through the rooms inch by inch. It had actually felt like years since she’d been there. The love she could feel for her grandma didn’t cease as she walked through the only room she’d began decorating, but never finished.
At last, she reached the bedroom and sat upon the bed staring at the small closet that hadn’t been enough for her. It was empty now, but she could still see the neatly folded shirts her grandma had stacked up in there. And after some time Victoria fell asleep.
/\_____/\
Donghae finally got up from his comfortable bedroom and walked toward the wide window to gaze out at the stars. He’d never gone star gazing with Victoria before. Suddenly, he wondered how it would have been if they’d done it together.
He was beginning to find himself staring out at the night sky the past few nights. Maybe it was because he felt lonely and felt that the stars would be able to keep him company. He was starting to feel old, weary, and lonely. Like a man who’d lost his loved one. Like an old man who was no living alone.
Pressing his lips together he tucked his hands into his pockets after heaving a long loud sigh. Victoria was leaving him. She was more than prepared to move on and that one fact was what pained him most. Victoria wasn’t looking back upon him. It was as if she’d tossed away everything they’d been through together. All those moments had become dust blown away by the evening wind. Once gone, it wouldn’t return.
If she wanted his blessing, he knew he’d give it to her. But if she wanted to see him watch her have a family and grow old with Cho Kyuhyun, he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t be able to do it without breaking into pieces first.
Because Victoria had been that one person who’d really made him feel like a king. Without her, he couldn’t find his place anywhere.
/\_____/\
“Where’s Victoria?” Bang Dae Jung questioned the next morning.
“She isn’t in her room,” the nanny replied, “she must have gone off somewhere in the middle of the night.”
“Can’t be,” her father shook his head, “she should be at the Cho’s. They must be preparing for the banquet later in the day.”
So Rae walked into the room and sat down quietly.
“So Rae,” her father called, “don’t forget to bring your boyfriend with you. We should all do everything Victoria asks of us. You got it?”
She watched her father smile before getting up to walk away. Her eyes narrowed into slits before biting onto her bottom lip.
The nanny walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder.
/\_____/\
Donghae awoke from the floor when he recognized the ringing of the doorbell. The pain his back raced through his body as he tried to get up. Placing a hand on his lower back he started toward the door with a yawn. Simply opening the door still rubbing his eyes he found So Rae staring back at him.
A frown crossed his face as she glanced at her watch.
“It’s afternoon and you’re still sleeping?” she questioned.
Walking away from the door Donghae went to lay down on the couch. Was it Saturday already? Pulling an arm over his face he shut his eyes hoping that maybe So Rae would get the hint that he wasn’t going anywhere.
However, he could still feel her shadow looming over him.
“How long are you going to keep this up?” she questioned.
He didn’t reply because if he did she’d know that he wasn’t really asleep.
She told, “My father insisted that you go since your dear girlfriend demanded it. Today, Victoria is going to finalize her name as Cho Kyuhyun’s fiancée.”
Donghae opened up his eyes from underneath his arm.
“Should I undress you and find something suitable for you to wear? Then we can really tell Victoria that we slept together,” So Rae threatened.
Victoria would believe it. What wouldn’t she believe in now?
Donghae sat up, “If you’re planning on ruining things for her, then I’m not going with you.”
“Me?”
“I’m just going to give her my blessings then leave,” Donghae told then got up to make
his way toward his bedroom.
Closing the door he fell against the wall. So after today everybody would know Victoria as Cho Kyuhyun’s fiancée. The road to falling apart was really approaching him. Reality couldn’t have made itself any clearer.
/\_____/\
Victoria finally awoke when her phone began ringing. She found herself sleeping in the most uncomfortable position and when she got up she found that her legs were asleep. Grabbing her phone she answered.
“Where are you?” it was Kyuhyun.
Victoria looked around the room and scratched her head.
“What is it?”
“My parents are looking for you,” Kyuhyun replied, “they’re starting to set up the tables for the banquet. Everyone’s asking for you, be here soon.”
“Ah…I know,” Victoria got up and almost tripped over her own feet.
“I’ll see you later.”
***Stay tuned! Because Victoria will do something much more that will shatter Donghae's heart at the banquet! And poor Kyuhyun...
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