51
Their Kingdom Panorama
Monday morning when she was still choosing her outfit for work, Victoria gave up halfway through and sat down on her bed. She stared at her closet wondering how she would face Donghae. Maybe she should ignore his existence if he ignored hers? Or she could feign stupidity? Or maybe she’d explain to him that she was drunk Friday night and had been talking junk so then everything could return to normal.
Victoria laughed at herself.
“Oh…yea right,” she sighed.
/\_____/\
Donghae pulled up to the house and glanced toward the gates wondering if Victoria was ready to leave for work, if she was still eating breakfast, or perhaps she’d woken up late. Leaving the car in park he leaned back in the seat and debated about how he should react toward her. Normal, as if nothing happened? Or should he play stupid like he couldn’t remember anything Friday night?
“But who would suddenly believe that you just forgot about the argument?” Donghae asked himself.
He cleared his throat.
“Victoria, we’re still friends, aren’t we?”
He furrowed his eyebrows and sighed.
“Doesn’t sound right. How about, Victoria…about Friday…you know I didn’t mean any of it right? I like you…” Donghae shook his head. “Can’t be like that. I can’t say it like that.”
The back door opened suddenly and he jumped in his seat.
“What? Are you not ready?” So Rae questioned.
“Uh…no…” Donghae started turned back to the front and stared out the windshield.
His eyes landed upon the gate door, but there was no sign of anyone else.
“What are you doing? You aren’t driving off?” So Rae questioned.
“I am,” Donghae started the car and headed down the road.
/\_____/\
She hesitantly made her way down the hallway trying to purposely take up as much time as she could. Nearing the end of the hallway she clasped her eyes shut and took in a deep breath before starting toward her desk. What she was feeling then was as close to the nervousness of a student taking an exam they hadn’t prepared for, except at a much worse level. Luckily, Donghae hadn’t bothered to sit on her chair that morning. If he had, she was unsure how she would react to it.
Taking a seat she the computer at the moment a student would have used to grab her pencil.
“Morning,” Donghae called from behind her. She could imagine the teacher placing the exam in front of her.
Victoria slightly turned her head to make it look as if she were trying to look at him, but it had just been a simple movement to make it seem as if she was looking at him.
“Morning,” Victoria plainly greeted.
It was silent. The atmosphere was heavy. Victoria pressed her lips together and almost jumped in surprise when her phone beeped.
“Are you at work?” it was a text from Kyuhyun.
Thankful for the interruption, Victoria smiled as she replied back. Then setting her phone aside she began to browse through her e-mail on the net. The hours passed by like that.
When the clock struck 12, Victoria shut off her computer and grabbed her bag.
“Where are you eating lunch?” Donghae’s voice stopped her.
Victoria half turned around, “I’m heading out.” Her eyes shifted toward the ground before she brought them back up to his face. “Have a good one.”
Heading for the elevator she fell against the walls suddenly feeling choked up. It was harder than she’d thought.
Kyuhyun was waiting for her outside. The smile on his face helped bring one to her face the first time that day.
“It feels kind of lonely without you there,” Victoria told over lunch.
“What to say? I’m kind of enjoying my job.”
Victoria smiled at him.
“If you’re not doing anything tonight, lets go watch a movie,” he suggested.
“A movie?” she repeated.
Perhaps, it would make a great excuse to get out of the house.
“Sure,” Victoria nodded.
/\_____/\
It had been much more difficult than he’d thought it would be to get through to her. Every time he wanted to initiate a conversation, Victoria had always been paying attention to something else or she’d left the room to run an errand.
Maybe it had been impossible to pretend that he didn’t hurt her Friday night.
“Aish!” he moaned rubbing his hand against his hair.
“What are you doing?” So Rae asked.
Donghae looked up from where he was sitting and quickly fixed his hair.
“Ah…you’re heading out for lunch?” he changed the subject.
She stared at him for a few seconds then nodded.
“You seemed very distracted this morning,” she commented.
“It’s actually nothing,” he waved his hand in the air.
So Rae slowly nodded before walking away. Once she disappeared out of sight, Donghae leaned back onto the couch and tossed the pillow over his face.
/\_____/\
Donghae wasn’t there when she returned.
“Is he eating lunch in the cafeteria?” she wondered then shook her head. “You don’t need to think about that.”
Taking a seat at her desk she lightly slapped both sides of her cheek and exhaled. When she looked up she saw Donghae standing not too far away staring at her with a small frown. Straightening her back up she cleared .
“You’re back?” she asked.
“Yea…” he replied.
Victoria turned away from him and focused her attention on her computer to make it look like she’d returned a while ago.
“Your computer’s not on,” he pointed out.
“I know,” Victoria snapped before turning it on.
Had the room suddenly grown hotter? Or was it just her?
“Victoria,” he called.
“Not nervous, you can’t get nervous,” Victoria silently repeated to herself, “it can’t get any more awkward than this.”
“Your phone is ringing.” he told before walking pass her.
And when the clock struck 4 she left the office abruptly.
That evening as she sat in the theater with the large screen almost blinding her uncomfortably, Victoria found her mind cruising through another dimension. A friendship should be one where two people could talk to each other without feeling a sense of burden, it wasn’t one where two people were awkward and couldn’t speak to each other. So then why was she letting her relationship, which she called friendship, with Donghae become something like it?
“I’m heading out for a moment,” Victoria told Kyuhyun who was so deeply absorbed in the movie.
Sitting on the curb by the side of the theater Victoria glanced up toward the night sky shimmering like the ocean miles away. A wistful breeze brushed by her feet and suddenly she began to feel much lighter. Perhaps, she’d really felt stuffed sitting in a dark room. Or maybe it was just that lately her mind had been too easily clouded.
“You’re not coming back in?” Kyuhyun’s voice broke her train of thoughts.
She turned to see him taking a seat beside her.
“I was taking a breather.”
“What’d you need it for?”
Victoria shrugged, “I feel envious.”
“Envious of what?”
“That people who don’t have a home and can only eat 2 meals a day are living a better life than I am.”
“Is there something that you’re unhappy about?” Kyuhyun asked.
“It’s something they should be unhappy about because I have something they don’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“I have Cho Kyuhyun.” Victoria joked. “Come on, lets go back in.”
Walking into the theater she stopped halfway in the hallway and glanced at a couple debating over what snack they wanted. Turning away she entered the theater room silently and returned to her seat.
Tuesday she rode in her father’s car to work. Even though she’d been a hypocrite saying that she still wanted to be friends with him, she’d technically avoided him at all costs that day. Wednesday they held eye contact once but Victoria had been quick to break it off and pretended to look elsewhere. Just being in the same room with him now…was plain awkward.
Thursday night Victoria had planned to meet the Three Musketeers at the shelter and take them out for a meal, but her father had suddenly come home early.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his business bag still in his hand as he slipped his shoes off.
“No where…” Victoria lied.
He glanced at the casual outfit she’d changed into and said, “Go change into a dress and come back down.”
There wasn’t a moment she’d recalled that her father had insisted on taking her out. Was there some kind of event that night? Or did he have something else in mind? If none of those were an option then perhaps he just didn’t like the sight of her in such normal clothes.
“Why?” Victoria questioned.
“Hurry up, we don’t have time.”
He ushered her up the stairs. Unable to say anything against him she walked up the steps and retreated to her room walking out with the first dress she’d gotten her hands on.
“Is there something going on tonight, father?” wondered Victoria.
“We’re due for a meal,” her father answered adjusting his jacket.
“Where?”
“The Cho’s.”
***Next chapter, Victoria will start to feel more burdened :/
***I woke up in an ok mood. After logging onto Tumblr then watching Suju's last performance with Heechul just broke my heart. Poor Teukie was crying so hard, I bet he must be having the hardest time. Even Heechul said that Leeteuk is very tired right now =( I hope he doesn't become emotionally and physically exhausted. Our poor leader works so hard. Today Leeteuk tweeted, “I tried to be patient but this is too hard… Really.. Very.. I feel like my body’s about to break into nothingness. I think it’s telling me I should die“.
***I know Heechul will come back safe and well. Sometimes I want to cry, but I remind myself that he's not leaving the group, it's only a temporarily moment in which he'll be absent. 2 years have gone by really quickly while we waited for Kangin so the next 2 years will fly by just as quick.
***Here's something I found a while ago. If you're not an E.L.F. sorry!
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