37
Their Kingdom Panorama
Victoria finally made it to her room after all those hours she’d been out. Laying down on her bed she twisted her head to the side and stared at the glamorous closet which stored her perfect brand named clothes.
Too much was coming up at all once and she had been there barely 3 weeks. The kind of reality she wasn’t used to was now beginning to slowly and slowly feeling heavier. There hadn’t been a time before in her life where so many forces, all at once, were trying to get at all. Everything had always come one by one, that’s how she’d grew up.
For a father who never knew of her existence, even she had to stay for someone who couldn’t protect her. And So Rae’s mother who had begged her to take all the pain in So Rae’s place. In the end even So Rae would still probably hate her forever. What had she done wrong in the first place? If there was one sin she’d committed then that must have been being born.
Victoria snorted at that thought.
Not to add to that, stupid Donghae was sticking to So Rae’s side like termite to a piece of wood. How much did they all want her to carry alone?
Victoria tossed herself over to stare at the clean ceiling above her and gave a loud shout.
“Never will I fall,” Victoria told herself, “I’m not going to let even a satisfied smile climb onto their face. Yea, that’s right. You go, Victoria! You show them that they’ve underestimated you.”
For how long she dozed off, she didn’t know. The knocking and shouting at the door woke her up, though. Sitting up she climbed off the bed to pull the door open. The short nanny who’d lied to her twice stood there with a cranky look on her face.
“Everybody’s waiting for you. Just how long are you going to make them wait?”
“What?” Victoria asked sleepily rubbing her eyes.
“Dinner has been served half an hour ago.”
Victoria’s mouth opened in surprise and she hurried out the door. Who knew how many people would be angry at her when she would finally make her way there. However, when she reached the entrance of the dining room her stepmother and So Rae were just taking their seats.
“What’s with you? Have you been running in this house?” her stepmother questioned.
Victoria’s one eyebrow shot up.
“Sit down, we’re just about to eat,” her father gestured her toward the chair next to him.
Still in shocked disbelief that she’d just been panicking a minute ago she slumped down into her seat and cracked her fingers.
“Would you stop that? That noise is so irritable,” her stepmother half scolded.
“Oh…” Victoria mumbled then apologized, “sorry.”
“Did you fall asleep? I didn’t seen you around,” her father asked.
Victoria nodded and glanced at So Rae to find that she was avoiding them easily.
“Eat some of this, it’ll be healthy for you,” her placed some food onto her empty plate. “How are you and Kyuhyun getting along?”
Victoria half winced at the question. Just how much more would So Rae hate her if she answered that question?
Pressing her lips together she said, “We’re just friends.”
“That’s good then,” her father commented, “if you ever need help with anything, you can always So Rae. They grew up together.”
“I know.” the answer was told without emotion.
She could see then, that So Rae sent glares down at the white rice on her big plate. The bottom lip tucked underneath her teeth had turned measly white.
“I want to announce something,” Hee Young broke the minute of stillness. “Since we are a family, well at least for right now, I shouldn’t hide this since pretty much all of us know about it.” A brief pause. “I’ve filed for a divorce this afternoon.”
No one offered any response. Victoria’s heart ticked in unison with the minute hand of the clock. If was as if someone had pressed the pause button on the remote control and if there were really one for life Victoria would have paused it at a long time ago.
Then the sound of someone setting down their utensils clattered with a loud echo in the ear. An alarm went off in her ears and Victoria wondered if she’d gone deaf for the moment.
“Just get out then,” So Rae spoke.
Victoria found her eyes resting on So Rae’s enraged face. The hair she’d messily tied up seemed to be falling apart now. She gulped not wanting to be a part of the argument nonetheless even witness it. The day had been long and she was tired.
“So Rae,” her father warned.
“No! I’m not stopping!” So Rae’s angry bell went off. “How could you do this to me?! I’ve never been thought of! I’m even worse than an animal abandoned by her mother! Why can’t you ever tell me what’s going on?! What’s so wrong that this family calls for a divorce?! I don’t get it!”
“So Rae,” her mother tried very calmly that even Victoria was surprised, “there are some things that you probably wouldn’t understand even if we told you…”
“See! This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’ve never bothered to share anything with me!” So Rae shouted.
“Listen to me,” her mother tried, “your father and I have been through numerous struggles, but we’ve decided it’s time to end all of this.”
“Why? What have you gone through that would make you two like this?” So Rae gritted her teeth.
“Honey,” her mother reached an arm out to her, but So Rae pushed it away.
From that moment on Victoria wasn’t witnessing just an argument. She felt like she was watching a movie, an unstoppable one.
“If you don’t even want to be part of the family why are you here then?!” So Rae screamed from almost the top of her lungs as she shot up from her seat.
Her mother stared at her bewildered.
“What is wrong with you?” her mother asked almost flinching from her daughter who was towering over her.
“What is wrong with me?” So Rae’s voice shook from pure hurt. “You made me like this. You and dad…if you don’t want to be part of the family, I might as well not have even existed in the first place!”
With that Victoria watched as her elder sister ran out.
“So Rae!” the nanny chased her down the hall.
Stunned, Victoria was unsure of what to do. Her slow brain from just waking up was still processing the whole argument into her head. She could see the camera spinning around her before it angled so that her back view could be seen and her stepmother stared forth at her. Those cold blanch eyes.
“What are you doing?” she scolded. “Why aren’t you going after her?”
Victoria stared back at the woman. It was just that her legs weren’t moving.
“Go after her! She’s your elder sister for God’s sakes!” she screamed.
“Hee Young!” her father’s heavy voice interrupted.
Finally blinking her eyes awake, Victoria got up from her seat and looked at her stepmother who stared back so angrily.
“The pain in the family is meant to be carried by you, not So Rae.”
Turning away, Victoria headed for the door, slipped her shoes on, and raced across the yard toward the stairs. Not watching her steps Victoria tumbled down the last 6 steps and landed upon the ground.
“Ah!” a shout leaked from her lips. “Why me, why me?”
Getting up onto her knees with palms against the ground she could feel her hair slip down her shoulders. She could feel the pain from her face and hands extend down her whole body.
“In my world, I don’t want a Heaven or Hell. I want a world in between where everything can exist together.”
Her words lurked back into her memory and an exasperated laugh escaped her.
“But it sure does feel like Hell right now,” she told herself before getting up to her feet and pushing the door open to find that the road was now empty.
It was long and winding and curbed around the corner endlessly. Where could So Rae have gone?
“As if I know her enough to guess where she’s gone. For who knows could have flown out of the country right this minute,” Victoria scowled and started making her way down the road on foot.
After she turned around the corner, her hands suddenly landed on her pocket. A smile grew on her lips when she felt her phone.
/\_____/\
Kyuhyun turned away from his music book at the ringing of his phone. Reaching for it he smiled when he saw that it was Victoria who was calling. His heart jumped when he realized that this was the second time he was calling her.
“Hello?” he answered enthusiastically.
“I hope you’re not busy right now,” Victoria said.
“Uh no, I’m not. Is there something you need?”
He hoped so.
Victoria hesitated before she began, “Actually, something happened and So Rae ran out. Her mom wants me to look for her, but I don’t know her well enough to guess where she’s gone.”
The smile that should have still been there at just the sound of her voice disappeared. So Rae was being childish again.
“I got it. Don’t worry about it and head back home, it’s not safe on the roads. Or…do you want me to come get you?” Kyuhyun offered hoping she would say yes.
“I’m fine. I’m not too far from the house,” Victoria became silent then said, “I’m sorry and thank you.”
“Don’t thank nor apologize,” Kyuhyun told, “have a good night.”
Victoria was about to hang up, but Kyuhyun didn’t just want to leave it there.
“Tomorrow is still on, right?” he asked.
“I’ll see you,” Victoria finished before hanging up.
Kyuhyun felt a sense of disappointment enter his veins before he got up from his chair.
What was So Rae up to? Why would she have left the house and why would Victoria have gone to look for her? He hoped that it wasn’t because So Rae had argued with Victoria. For once, he felt useless that he couldn’t be of any help to Victoria.
Kyuhyun drove around the streets and stopped by a few places where So Rae usually frequented. She wasn’t there. Getting back into his car he heaved a large sigh and placed a hand over his closed eyes.
“So Rae is the most pitiful in this family. I’m going to trust in you to be her shield.”
Why had her mother placed such a burden upon him? So Rae was just hardheaded, revengeful, and couldn’t accept things the way they were. She was just stubborn and wanted more than she could have. But what she couldn’t have was what Kyuhyun couldn’t give her.
Starting the engine he sped off toward an old park he’d visited often in grade school. Stopping his car in the parking lot he calmly walked out. The two rows of street lights helped him avoid the little play sets around the playground. He paused by the swings when he noticed So Rae hugging herself by the sandboxes; his favorite play spot.
Pressing his lips together after a sigh he started toward her slowly.
“Are you here to visit old memories?” Kyuhyun asked.
So Rae lifted her head up from her arms. Kyuhyun was surprised when he realized streaks of tears were running down her face. Sensing that something must have really been wrong he sat down in front of her.
“Why?” he asked. “You ran out abruptly, didn’t you?”
So Rae looked at him with half a glare.
“Still so childish,” Kyuhyun commented.
He watched her grit her teeth together.
“You have to stop running off when you don’t like what you see,” Kyuhyun told, “because we don’t always like what we see. Now, are you going to tell me what happened? So Rae, doesn’t usually cry.”
He smiled as a loud cry escaped and ruffled her hair playfully.
“You’re not alone, I’m still here. During the hard times you can still make your way to me,” Kyuhyun offered, “I can be a sounding board for you to lean on. I’ll listen to your every complaint. Just because things have changed doesn’t mean that I’ll ditch you.”
So Rae’s body shook as she leaned forward to hug him. Wrapping her arms around his neck she dug her face into his broad shoulder.
“Mom,” So Rae sobbed, “wants a divorce with dad. I’ll really be all alone in that house. They have no need for me.”
Kyuhyun’s eyes moved toward the street lights. He hadn’t heard anything about the divorce. He wondered how Victoria was faring in the house with all the tension going on. If she had anyone to talk to, if she had anyone to lean on. He started feeling sorry toward Victoria.
“Your parents must have their own story they couldn’t share with you, but you also need to understand them even if you don’t want to. If this is the way they want to regain their happiness then you should support them So Rae, instead of objecting,” Kyuhyun said.
“It’s not fair!” she wailed. “What about me?!”
“It’ll be ok,” was all Kyuhyun could make out.
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