77
Their Kingdom Panorama
The sun rose into the sky. Victoria was still awake. She’d made it back home at the crack of dawn. Getting up, she dressed herself into the branded clothes in her closet, and walked out. Victoria made trips to the donut store, coffee shop, and the snack corner. By 7 she headed back for breakfast.
It was quiet, but it wasn’t as if she’d expected any chatter from So Rae or her father. Edging forward she bravely entered the dining room to find her father and So Rae at the table as always. Their routine never changed.
She stood at the side of the table in between her father and sister. The fact that they didn’t greet her nor turn to look at her wasn’t surprising. Slowly, Victoria bowed a deep 90 degree bow. The clattering of forks against the plates dissolved into midair and she knew then, that she had their attention. Standing straight up she looked at them.
“I’ll repent, if that’s what you want,” Victoria started, “I’ll do as you say.”
She allowed her eyes to scan the two before her.
“I will marry Cho Kyuhyun, if,” Victoria looked over at So Rae, “unnie stops looking for Man Shik.”
From the corner of her eyes she noticed her father’s eyes widen. So Rae turned to stare at her.
“That’s the only condition I’ll ask for.”
Silence overwhelmed them.
So Rae turned away.
“You’ve made a good decision. Thank you.” her father said.
Minutes later when Victoria reached the top of the stairs she heard So Rae behind her.
“Are you sure you’ll keep your word?” So Rae asked.
Victoria stopped.
“You won’t run away, this isn’t another lie of yours?” So Rae was at her back in seconds.
Victoria pressed her lips together, “Then tie me down on my wedding day. I’ll allow you to at least do that.”
So Rae stared at her, a frown threatening to cross her face.
“I’m tired. Let me take a shower before work.”
/\_____/\
Donghae started the engine right away when So Rae got into the car. A frown was creasing her forehead with wrinkles.
“I don’t trust her,” So Rae said aloud before turning to face the front. “Victoria announced this morning that she’ll marry Kyuhyun.”
He was silent. His heart was practically squeezing itself. It hurt. Had he really hurt her last night? It hadn’t been a week since they’ve broken up and Victoria had already given in to their pressuring? He couldn’t believe it.
“You’re not saying anything?” So Rae asked. “Your girlfriend’s getting married.”
“What do you want me to say?” Donghae questioned. “This is what you wanted.”
So Rae didn’t reply.
“She wouldn’t have changed her mind so quickly,” So Rae said aloud, “not unless something came up. Not unless she knows something.”
Donghae’s mind turned into a drizzle of imaginative raindrops.
/\_____/\
Victoria headed in for work as usual. When she reached her desk, she spotted Donghae standing over by the windows gazing down at the street below. Honestly, the sight of him still bothered her.
Stowing her feelings away, she set her bag down before walking over to stand beside him. Crossing her arms she also stared down at the road below.
“Did you wish you were one of those carefree people down there?” she asked.
He didn’t reply.
“I’m getting married.” Victoria told before turning to him coolly.
He still didn’t say anything.
Victoria exhaled loudly as she tilted her head up.
“Well then, I’ll see you tomorrow. I only came to see you for a bit,” she told before turning around.
Grabbing her bag off her desk, she headed down the stairs.
/\_____/\
Donghae turned to watch her disappear down the stairs. His heart was on the verge of breaking. It was throbbing so hard. Pressing his lips together he tried to keep his feet in spot, but they didn’t listen. He darted off after her.
He had to catch her before she left through the front doors. He needed to talk to her. He need to yell at her, ask her why she’d agreed to it. He needed to ask her why she was already moving on when they hadn’t broken up for long.
When he ran through the front doors he quickly halted.
Kyuhyun opened the passenger side of the door for Victoria and she got in willingly. The car left the street in within a minute and Donghae felt his heart sink lower than usual.
“Why don’t you put up a fight?” he asked aloud.
/\_____/\
“My father told me this morning,” Kyuhyun started. “I think we need to talk.”
Victoria turned to look at him. The look on her face saddened him much.
They found an empty bench nearby the jogging trail and sat there. Neither spoke, neither took the initiative to greet the other. Kyuhyun didn’t mind, he couldn’t mind it.
“Why…” he started.
“Someone told me,” Victoria cut him straight off, “that giving up might hurt less than trying to fight and getting hurt along the way.”
She turned to look at him.
“Don’t do it.” he told.
Her eyes were so solemn.
“Lets not get married.”
Victoria smiled before turning away.
“Is this what high class people do?” Victoria asked. “They say one thing and something different the next. Is wheeling someone back and forth fun?” She turned back to look at him, “They can never make up their minds. If you don’t marry me, what am I supposed to do?”
His heart ached for her. He felt so bad.
“I’m sorry.”
“My father says that sorry doesn’t fix it.”
Kyuhyun stared at her. He wanted to reach a hand forward and her hair. He wanted comfort her so bad, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it because he wasn’t the person who could comfort her.
“Lets get married,” Victoria said, “I’ll learn to love you, we’ll have a family.”
Even if she’d tried putting effort into making herself sound cheerful he could still sense the depth of sadness behind it.
“Should I send you back to work?” he asked.
“Why?” Victoria asked. “You don’t want to spend the day with me?”
Kyuhyun looked at her guiltily.
“You need some time by yourself.” he said. “I want some time to think as well.”
He dropped her off at her house before he drove back to the Investment company. There was no way he could allow Victoria to marry him. He didn’t want her to live such an empty life with him. Perhaps he couldn’t do anything for her, but if he tried, maybe he could give Donghae back to her.
Walking down the winding hallways he got into the elevator and went up to the 5th floor. Exiting the hallway he spotted Donghae tracing his fingers across Victoria’s desk. He stared until Donghae noticed him. Getting up from the chair he was sitting in, Kyuhyun headed toward him.
“Lets talk.” Kyuhyun suggested.
Donghae averted his gaze.
The wind swept pass when they made their way onto the balcony. Kyuhyun had a feeling that Donghae resented the sight of him, but he needed to do what he needed to do.
“I’ll start off easy,“ Kyuhyun said, “I don’t want to marry Victoria.”
Donghae turned to look at him.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve decided, I don’t want to marry her.”
Donghae snorted.
“Take her back,” Kyuhyun told, “I know she doesn’t want to marry me.”
“You think?” Donghae questioned contradictorily.
Kyuhyun calmly glanced the man before him, “Victoria wouldn’t have just made her decision within one night.”
“One night isn’t very different from one week.”
“So Rae and her father must have put her in a position where she had no choice but to say yes. Victoria’s probably dying inside right now.”
He watched Donghae lower his gaze.
“I’ll help you.” Kyuhyun offered.
/\_____/\
So Rae stared at Kyuhyun and Donghae from the doorway with arms crossed. She knew she couldn’t trust Donghae. He would have done it sooner or later. He would have turned his back on her.
/\_____/\
“Dinner?” Victoria repeated. “Ok. I’ll see you there.”
She hung up the phone, set it beside her, and stared out the window.
The sun cast its dark shadow over the sun darkening her room then relighting it once the clouds decided that it had tired of staying in one spot. Time passed, flowed by like the beating of her slow heart. When she looked at the time again, she got up.
Stopping beside her desk drawer she took off the necklace Donghae had gifted her not so long ago. Pulling open the drawer she discovered her mother’s necklace with the ring attached to it inside a neat case and next to it the necklace with the ring Kyuhyun had handed her. Taking that one instead she placed it around her neck.
What had been said needed to be done. Victoria had to keep her words to her father this time around. Boarding the car she closed her eyes to gather herself and took a deep breath before reopening them.
The car stopped in front of the restaurant Kyuhyun had told her about and she got out without a moment of hesitation. Waiters greeted her at the door and when she walked in another one led her toward a table draped in magenta. She assumed that Kyuhyun wasn’t yet there, so while waiting she ordered a glass of water and turned to stare out the window.
Pure blankness passed through her mind before she turned at the sound of footsteps. A pair of feet dressed in neat dress shoes was what she saw before she looked up. Her eyes trailed his handsome dark blue suit and paused at his face.
Victoria surprisingly held herself steady. Not even an expression of shock nor surprise filtered her eyes. She calmly turned when the waiter came back with two menus.
If she left, it would only mean she was avoiding him. If she avoided him, it would show that she still had feelings. Inhaling slowly she grabbed the menu.
“Sit down,” she told.
She was shaken by the fact that Kyuhyun had set her up. Anger at being played so easily crept into her steep veins as she ordered the priciest rib eye steak. When the waiter walked away she sipped at her water coolly.
“How was work?” she asked looking at Donghae.
He seemed uncomfortable staring back. Her attitude must be making him nervous. Why? Did he expect her to tremble and walk away after scolding him?
“The usual.”
“Why don’t you come over sometime,” Victoria suggested, “as So Rae’s boyfriend, shouldn’t you visit her more often? If my father suspects of your relationship, there will be trouble.”
“Victoria.”
Victoria raised an eyebrow urging him to go on silently.
“I’m sorry.”
She stared at him expressionlessly before smiling gently. It was a smile that she sincerely meant, though. To hear him say sorry for hurting her patched up that little scratch in her heart. At least he cared enough to apologize.
“I don’t know why everyone is apologizing,” Victoria traced her hand across the tablecloth, “I don’t dislike you. You did what you did only because you cared, ok. A lot has happened this week, I never lived this way before because I always had my way, so all of this easily stresses me because I’m not used to it. Lee Donghae, I chose to marry Cho Kyuhyun because going along this path will make things easier for me. I hurt a lot when I was with you, did you know that?”
His stare burned her.
“Be happy for me, because I can be happy for myself.” Victoria smiled. “I mean it.”
The front door opened and Victoria stared at Kyuhyun with a menacing glare. Without mercy she her hand forward slamming it into his chest. He let out a deep “Oopf” as he staggered back from the impact.
Victoria stepped through the gates staring at him.
“Who do you think you are?” Victoria questioned angrily. “The knight in shining armor that I never asked for?! You’re a hero?!”
He stared at her with a frown.
Victoria gritted her teeth angrily.
“You can’t do this to me. I didn’t think you were such a cold jerk,” Victoria spat, “don’t spin me in circles, tell me to go, then pull me back! I’m not a dog! I’m already ready, I’ve spent the whole night thinking about you and you won’t appreciate a tiny bit of my feelings? What are my feelings to you? A joke?!”
He was speechless. Just moments earlier he’d been strumming away at his guitar peacefully before the doorbell started ringing. And now, Victoria was at his doorstep angrily scolding him. Wasn’t she supposed to be with Lee Donghae?
Feeling bruised up she took a step forward and locked her arms around him leaning her head against his chest. It was so bitter. Everything was so bitter. Closing her eyes, she hoped that at least she receive some form of comfort.
“Don’t be another one of them.”
“If you’re continuously getting hurt, then why don’t you let go?” Eunhyuk had said. “They say that if you let something go and it comes back to you, it’s yours to keep.”
Victoria thought about it.
“What are my feelings worth if I easily toss something I love away just to experiment its love for me?”
“You decide then, if you want to accept its love for you. Sometimes, we have to lose one thing to gain another,” Eunhyuk explained, “perhaps, maybe to lose your sadness means giving up what made you most happy.”
/\_____/\
It was so quiet. Not even to buzzing of his refrigerator could help comfort his lonesome heart. He stared outside the large clear window. His own reflection appeared before him and turned away from the eyes that almost sparkled.
He had done something really bad. The consequences were more difficult to carry than he’d imagined. Would chasing her back mean anything?
“I hurt a lot when I was with you, did you know that?”
Had she meant it? Was she really hurting when they were together? Turning around to stare at the emptiness around him he dropped his back against the window. His heart hurt so much. He’d never felt that way before.
If he went after her, tried to get her back, would she hurt even more?
/\_____/\
Victoria was missing. It was late, the food on the dinner table was getting cold, yet her father still insisted on waiting for her. So Rae was annoyed, angry, and unsettled. If she’d made up with Donghae she should be happy and So Rae wouldn’t be able to take it if that were the case. Victoria couldn’t be with Donghae. She needed to be miserable with Cho Kyuhyun.
Finally footsteps neared and So Rae looked up to see Victoria walk in.
“You haven’t eaten?” she questioned quite cheerfully.
So Rae narrowed her eyes, “Where have you been? Because of you the food is now cold.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun appeared from behind her like magic, “I slowed Victoria down a bit.”
“Ah! Kyuhyun!” Dae Jung stood up excited. “Come sit down. Ahjumma! Get another set of plates.”
Her father moved over to the empty chair at the end of the table.
“Sit, sit,” he repeatedly said.
So Rae watched Kyuhyun put a hand Victoria’s back as they started toward their seats. What was this? Were they actually happy?
“I didn’t know you were coming over,” her father commented.
“I apologize for not informing you beforehand,” Kyuhyun said, “it was a last minute decision.”
“Did you two accidentally meet up or something?” So Rae questioned. “I thought Donghae was meeting with Victoria?”
So Rae noticed Victoria’s pair of eyes fly toward her.
“Indeed, we did meet up,” Victoria coolly retorted, “but it was only to talk about how to better the relationship between the two of you.”
So Rae felt her eyes turn into a glare.
“So I suggested a double date or that he should come over for dinner.” Victoria then turned to her father. “Would it be ok if unnie’s boyfriend comes over for dinner sometime? You wouldn’t mind, would you?”
***Woohoo! Victoria's starting to bite back! But she hasn't gotten all the way there yet :/
***Now that Vic has made her decision to the agrement of the marriage, Kyuhyun suddenly changes his mind. How frustrating can it get?
***“perhaps, maybe to lose your sadness means giving up what made you most happy.” <<<---- Now this, is a philosophical way of thinking (grr even though the thought of philosophy makes me hate it, cause i dread that class seriously). Anyway, what makes you most happy is what makes you most sad. so Vic is giving up her happiness in order not to suffer anymore - that's what she's thinking. Eunhyuk made a good point that she's never thought of before, but he's not always right.
***So Rae who doesn't trust Victoria will be out to hurt her again, not surprising eh?
***Vic is internally bleeding at this moment, not literally though, just saying xD
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