76
Their Kingdom Panorama
Noise coming from all four sides if the mart cheered her up a little and kept her mind busy. If she wanted to make up with Donghae, maybe some food would do the trick. She heard that women could always get through men with food. After deciding on her ingredients, she checked out, and made her way back to the car waiting for her.
“I’ll get out here,” Victoria ordered and got out at the intersection just a block from the hotel.
If she was reported going into a hotel she didn’t know what would happen then. As she made her way there, Victoria somehow started cheering herself up. Pictures of them making up popped up one after another in her head.
/\_____/\
“What did you do last night?” So Rae questioned in the car.
Without glancing into the rearview mirror he already knew what So Rae was talking about. He stared ahead at the car in front of him trying to keep his concentration level constant. But why did the back of the girl in the car before him look so similar to Victoria?
“I only did what was necessary.”
The silhouette of Victoria’s shadow appeared in his mind as he started driving into a dim tunnel.
So Rae laughed lightly in the back, “So, are you ready to stand on my side now?”
Donghae didn’t answer. In his mind he could see Victoria seated next to him smiling broadly. She’d been so sincere, so great. Now he wanted to run to her and apologize. Even though he was pretty confident that Victoria had seen through his bad acting, he still wanted to clarify with her that he had only been lying. None of the words he’d said, he meant.
Stepping on the accelerator, he sped out of the tunnel.
/\_____/\
The card key to Donghae’s suite was still with her, but she’d left it behind at her house. After rummaging through her bag for the sixteenth time she sighed finally accepted the truth that she couldn’t steal her way in to prepare that delicious meal for him. Leaning against the wall she glanced at her watch before sitting down.
There was no choice but to wait for him now.
/\_____/\
When Kyuhyun started down the stairs he could hear his father laughing real loud. Making his way toward the dining room he found out why. President Bang was over. Stopping he quickly greeted him.
“Ah! Kyuhyun! Were you upstairs with the love of your life?” President Bang questioned jokingly.
Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows confused.
President Bang held his arms out and made it look like he was holding an invisible guitar. Kyuhyun nodded and smiled.
“I didn’t know uncle was coming over.” Kyuhyun said taking a seat then glanced around.
“Victoria should be here in a bit,” President Bang shifted in his seat.
Kyuhyun could feel his eyes drift toward the empty seat beside him. His mother hadn’t come down, but he’d seen the wedding booklets beside her bed. Feelings of uncertainly crept through him. Would Victoria even come? If he didn’t know about their coming over for dinner, then had Victoria been notified at the last minute? Was she with Donghae at that moment?
/\_____/\
He had sat outside of Victoria’s house staring at the gates hoping…hoping that maybe Victoria would come out to let him see her.
She didn’t come.
When the clock started ticking by he headed back to the suite. Disappointment filled him like a bucket. He felt like he was dragging himself down the hallway. Stepping out of the elevator he turned, took a few steps, looked up, and stopped. Victoria was sitting by his door clutching onto a bag of groceries.
The sight of her overwhelmed him with hope, pain, and despair. His hand gripped itself into a fist. It was so hard to hold himself back from running forward.
“You can’t,” he told himself.
Donghae had to get rid of her before he would really ruin her perfect future. He was just a nobody, he didn’t have the right to take away everything that she could have with Cho Kyuhyun. Even if he had to let her go, he’d rather see her living a better life without having to work so hard than seeing her live a tiring life with him.
So Rae was right. He wouldn’t be able to do anything for her.
Releasing the fist he’d created, he walked forward step by step and stopped in front of her. She looked tired. The dark bags under her eyes were so visible that it made his heart throb. He wanted to hold her and tell her to go to sleep, but any signs of concern right then would only show her that he cared.
Quickly getting up to her feet she said, “Are you hungry? I bought some things to cook for you. They’re all good quality…”
Donghae pushed the bag out of her hand and watched as it dropped to the ground. A mere moment of silence resounded between them. He watched as her eyes landed on the bag. The hope he’d destroyed pained him so bad.
Victoria blinked her eyes rapidly before smiling.
“5 second rule,” she picked the bag up, “the food’s still clean. Do you want to eat?”
Donghae, who had been keeping his eyes elsewhere in order to contain himself, finally turned to look at her. The deepest glare he could summon up landed on her face.
“What are you doing here?” he sneered. “Aren’t you embarrassed? Acting so desperate.”
Victoria looked at him. He could tell she was trying to strengthen herself to show him that she wouldn’t give in.
“We’re already over, what part of that, don’t you get?” he asked.
“Donghae.”
He averted her pitiful stare.
“Get out of here,” he ordered, “why don’t you go show that face to someone who actually cares?”
Stepping past her he unlocked his door and walked in. Once the door closed he leaned against it slowly shrinking to the ground. He was feeling so terrible. Victoria was making him feel so terrible.
/\_____/\
“Why isn’t she here yet?” President Bang glanced at his watch.
Kyuhyun glanced at him. He was sure by now that Victoria had no plans of showing up.
“Why don’t we eat? The food is starting to get cold.”
His father looked unsettled.
“I’m terribly sorry,” President Bang apologized, “Victoria always keeps her word.”
“I’m sure something must have come up.” Kyuhyun assured with a smile. “Lets eat.”
Victoria couldn’t be blamed, he knew it as a fact. She was, perhaps, having a hard time. The feelings of being pressured were harder to deal with than just the sound of it. It was a much heavier burden to shoulder by oneself. He’d realized long ago that no matter how much he urged her to talk to him, she would never open up to him. It was all because he wasn’t the love of her life. Because he wasn’t Donghae.
/\_____/\
It felt like one of the hardest moments of her life. Victoria couldn’t pick herself up. She couldn’t force herself to walk away. She didn’t know how long she’d been standing beside his door wishing for him to open it, walk out, and apologize. Donghae didn’t come out though.
Pressing her lips together she finally gathered herself and started forward. The ride down in the elevator was the loneliest she’d ever felt. That was the worst he’d treated her.
With sunken emotions she made her way back home.
She tossed the groceries away into the garbage bin before opening the door. Feeling a little hungry she started toward the kitchen, but the ahjumma stopped her from going in.
“Your father’s been looking for you,” her voice was heavy with irritation.
Without a word Victoria edged pass her, grabbed a cookie from above the fridge, and headed toward the stairs. The cookie melted in by the time she opened the door to her father’s study. Blankness ran through her minds when he got up from his seat. Closing the door behind her she stepped forward feeling intimated by the steep frown on his face.
“Where were you?” he sounded angry.
“I was out.”
“I know you were out, I’m asking where you went!” his raised his voice.
Victoria shrank back.
“What is it? Is something wrong?” Victoria asked.
“Did Chairman Cho invite you or not for dinner tonight?”
Her eyes inched open surprised. She’d totally forgotten about it. Victoria had nothing else to say, but stared at her father quietly. It was hard trying to find an acceptable excuse.
“How could you not show up for dinner?!” her father shouted.
Victoria turned her head away as a frown overcame her face.
“You’ve let everybody down. They were all waiting for you!” her father scolded. “How could you? I never thought you’d do this….”
He ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry won’t fix it!” her father’s voice almost deafened her. “Where were you? Where did you go? Who were you with? What were you doing?”
The words didn’t come out.
“Tell me!”
Victoria blinked her eyes rapidly.
“If you don’t tell me where you were, you better start preparing for your wedding.” he threatened.
“Dad!” Victoria shouted. “That’s unreasonable!”
“Unreasonable?” he repeated. “Who do you think is being unreasonable? I asked for an explanation, but you’re refusing to give it to me.”
Victoria stared at him hurt.
She turned away after a moment, “No, I won’t do it. I’ve decided, I don’t want to marry Cho Kyuhyun.”
“Why can’t you do anything I ask of you?!” her father shouted.
“Because I want to marry someone I’ll be happy with!” Victoria retorted turning back to him. “He doesn’t need money, he doesn’t have to have one of the best jobs, he doesn’t have to have a family, he doesn’t have to own a nice car. I only want to marry someone I’ll be happy with. If you make me marry Cho Kyuhyun, it’s like telling me to go to jail!”
Victoria was stupefied, shocked, dismayed, and astonished when her father slapped her.
“Who is it? Who turned you into this kind of person? Answer me!” he shouted.
She turned to look at him overwhelmed. The blood seeping through her veins were boiling. They were hot and about to explode.
Hee Young had slapped her, So Rae had slapped her, and her father had slapped her. This family was out to get her. She couldn’t stand it anymore. They’d hurt her, they’d pushed her around, and they’ve always told her what to do. She was tired of it.
Victoria could no longer hold back, “I’ve always been like this! This is my real self! This is me! So what?! I’m this kind of low-life person! I’ve always lived this way! So how can you match me up with Cho Kyuhyun?! But what about me, father? Have you thought about me? Where’s my happiness in marrying someone I don’t know? Money? Am I supposed to love money, but not my husband? Have you sincerely thought about me?!”
Her father stared back at her enraged. His eyes had suddenly turned red, but Victoria couldn’t sense his sadness at all. She wasn’t able to sense anything, but her own pain.
All of a sudden Victoria suddenly understood why he’d slapped her. Sarcastic laughter left and she laughed some more. She was finally furious. Seriously furious.
“You knew…and you dared to bring me here?” Victoria asked with the darkest frown covering her face. “You knew!”
Her father stared at her.
“Did you think you could hide everything about me? Did you think you could make me a perfect person? Did you think you could create a better life for yourself by giving me a future I would have never gotten? Do you think my mother would be able to rest peacefully in her grave if she knew my husband didn’t know a thing about me?” Victoria suddenly felt so lost, so confused. “Is that what you wanted?”
She was unsure if she was more sad than angry now.
“I can’t believe you,” Victoria told.
Without another word she turned around and burst out the door. Running down the steps she ran the rest of the way out of the house.
/\_____/\
Mi Sun found Kyuhyun standing underneath the street light outside of his house. Closing the door of her car shut she walked toward him.
“What?” she asked standing beside him. “You don’t usually call me out in the middle of the night.”
He watched as she reached a hand into thin air to catch the dust trailing down from the beam.
“You should stop now,” Kyuhyun told.
Mi Sun turned to look at him while crossing her arms.
“The wedding, I’m not going to do it anymore.”
Mi Sun didn’t reply.
“I’ll tell So Rae, so you stop first.”
Mi Sun smiled, “We can’t stop now. The wedding’s going to proceed, and it’s not like you don’t have any feelings toward her.”
“That’s not the point here,” Kyuhyun stated, “maybe you don’t care about Victoria’s happiness, but I do. It’s one of the first things I think of whenever I wake up. Do you know how it feels? When you know you’re troubling someone with your feelings and because of that they can’t talk to you about anything. So you’re always wondering if they’re going to be happy with you. And you’re always worried about how they feel toward you, what they think of you. I don’t want…Victoria to look upon me as a burden. One look at her, and I know she doesn’t want to get married.”
“You think I don’t care?” Mi Sun questioned with a tone full of contradiction. “But we can’t do anything about it at this point. Since the beginning we all knew you were going to marry her. How can you think of ending it now when you’re already so close to getting married?”
A loud sigh escaped him.
He turned away frustrated then turned back to her after a second, “What do you mean we can’t do anything about it now?”
He stared at her expecting an answer. Mi Sun shuffled her feet uncomfortably as if she were trying to avoid him.
“What is it?” Kyuhyun questioned.
“I…I can’t say it,” Mi Sun stuttered, “but Victoria knows it.”
“Knows what? Can’t you say anything straight?”
Mi Sun swallowed, “Soon enough, Victoria will agree to it. Just wait till then, so don’t give up your feelings just yet.”
With that Mi Sun turned around quickly and started toward her car. Kyuhyun watched her leave without a word. Mi Sun was hiding something…
/\_____/\
Victoria paused in front of the shelter panting. The others were sleeping, but as always there were always some guys who were awake in the corner. She gazed around and discovered the Three Musketeers huddled together on the cold newspaper.
With nowhere else to go, the shelter was the only place she’d thought of. She’d rather sleep outside with the wind than back at the house with tension flying through the cracks of her door. She also knew she could have gone back to her grandmother’s house, but she didn’t want to be alone.
Trudging forward she ignored those who turned to stare. Sitting down by the three she laid her eyes on the sleeping Ryeowook, Yesung, and Eunhyuk. Their comfort was much needed at the moment.
As if Eunhyuk had heard her, he stirred in his sleep before his eyes opened. When he turned his head and noticed her, he let out a horrible moan as he jumped to sit up. He stared at her for a few seconds then cleared his throat coolly.
“Victoria?” he asked.
“Yea, it’s me.”
He frowned, tilted his head, then scratched his scalp.
A few seconds later they were sitting side by side staring at the still sleeping Ryeowook and Yesung. Ryeowook was curled up into a fetal position and Yesung had his arms crossed over his chest.
“Why are you here?” Eunhyuk asked.
“Because I’m losing hope,” she answered after a moment of peace.
The wind fluttered by.
“Why? Something happen?”
“A lot.”
“But you’ll be ok, right?”
Victoria lowered her gaze to the newspaper that was barely readable anymore.
“I don’t know why everybody seems to think I’m superwoman,” she told, “they think I can always hold my head up high, that I can withstand anything coming my way, but I can’t always cover for others. I can’t protect everyone. I’m not that strong.” Victoria felt her voice go weak. “I feel so weak, Eunhyuk.”
Eunhyuk turned to look at her.
“Sorry, I don’t know how to comfort you right now. You’re the first person I’ve ever seen so troubled. What should I do?” he asked.
“Can I…lean on you for a second?” Victoria asked quietly.
He stared at her astounded by her request. With a slowly shake of the head Victoria leaned her head upon his shoulder. Eunhyuk couldn’t quite help but feel embarrassed. It was the first time he’d ever offered his shoulder to anyone.
***Honestly, I was deciding if I should have Victoria run over to Kyuhyun, but I changed my mind after some contemplations and had her run to Eunhyuk :) That scene worked out nicely though. She's finally breaking...well she's not breaking yet, but she's reaching her breaking point.
***Watch out for Vic's change in the next chapter! She hasn't thoroughly changed yet, but we're getting close to the point where Vic will make a personality transformation :D
***And once again, I've come to realize that Donghae's character's personality is really different compared to the one I gave him in You Said Remember Me haha!
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