34
Their Kingdom Panorama
He laughed uncertain, “Was I too direct?”
Victoria only smiled in reply.
“I really look forward to the day when you and I will become close,” he honestly expressed, “I really do.”
The birds cried in the air and Victoria purposely took the chance to look away.
/\_____/\
So Rae woke up angry perhaps because she’d gone to sleep angry. She couldn’t bring herself to walk out of her room. Bitter anger from last night’s talk with her parents soared through her boiling blood. And the last thing she wanted to see was Victoria.
Pressing her lips together she drew open the curtain and peered outside. Yesterday’s busy backyard was now empty and blank. Strings vibrated in her ears and she could see two young children sitting on the grass. Kyuhyun with guitar in hand and So Rae sitting nearby.
“That’s enough, now lets play,” child So Rae in her white laced dress with a flower at the shoulder called.
Child Kyuhyin did not turn to look at her but said, “Listen, this is the song I’m going to play in the future.”
Child So Rae listened as he strummed his small guitar clumsily with his small fingers. Uninterested she grabbed the guitar from him and started running around.
“So Rae!” he called as he got up to chase after her.
The memory drifted when So Rae turned back to stare at the empty vase beside their framed picture on her desk. It was all so different now.
Cho Kyuhyun didn’t want to be near her. Her didn’t want her. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Instead, he wanted someone else. Someone who was far from her. Someone who was different from her. Someone who wasn’t on the same level. Someone who would never catch up to her.
Why? What about her did not fit him? What about her did not suit him?
The marriage she had so looked forward too was still trailing emptily behind her. She had wanted it, dreamed of it, and wished for it. To hold him, hug him, kiss him, fill him with her love, have him by her side, always. So Rae had so wanted to do everything for him. To fulfill his every desire. For him to always need her, want her.
But why was it so different? Why was her first love so much more pitiful than anyone else’s? Why did Kyuhyun have to want someone who was far below her? Why did he have to be that way when her heart still desired him? Watching him call for someone else just simply outraged her.
And to add to all that, her parents were getting a divorce. Why? Why? Why? Why!
Why couldn’t they ever put her first? Why couldn’t they ever ask her for anything? Why couldn’t they confide in her? Why did they like making her feel abandoned and useless? Why did they have to be that way?
And it all came down to Victoria who’d entered the house behind her back according to her father’s wishes. Everything, even her father, would belong to Victoria.
So Rae knew she would end up empty handed in the end if she didn’t do anything. If she couldn’t do anything.
Feeling too suffocated she decided she needed out. If only Mi Sun were there to support her back, but the girl had decided to take a few weeks off from being her personal assistant. Reaching for her phone she dialed for Donghae who answered gladly.
/\_____/\
Victoria turned to look at Kyuhyun then turned back to the windshield before her. She wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t playing stupid nor was she playing hard to get. Last night’s kiss was still so vibrant in her mind that she could still feel his lips pressed against hers. The many wonders circled her mind. In the end it would all come to one question: How was she feeling?
It wasn’t a lie when she’d told him that he wasn’t that bad of a guy. He was ok and on a much kinder level than that stupid minded jerk, Donghae. Kyuhyun seemed graceful, kind of like a princess but on a much more masculine level. It wasn’t as if she could pinpoint a person’s personality from first glance, but Kyuhyun gave off that aura of a peaceful person who had always had luck with him; the kind of luck Victoria had been lacking.
Kyuhyun was the kind of person that could do anything he set his mind to. Like those kind who knew their limits, but still tried to overpass them. The kind of people who kept their promises and would go through with whatever they’d said. The kind of people who made others feel like they were needed; the greatest person in the earth. The kind people who filled others up with warmth.
Her ears attuned to his humming from beside her and she recalled finding him playing his guitar at the back of the house.
“Do you like rock music?” Victoria asked.
“Why?”
“Rock artists use guitars.”
His lips grew into a smile then into a nice laugh, “I’m tilted more toward the acoustic side of music.”
“Ah…” she nodded.
They turned silent.
“Are you an only child?” Victoria wondered.
He nodded with an, “Mmmhmm.”
Victoria nodded again.
“It must be nice with a sibling,” Kyuhyun told.
“Is it?” Victoria asked.
“At least you’re not alone.”
Really? Victoria turned back to looking out of the window. Even at a house with 4 souls, Victoria still felt alone.
“But you know,” his voice entered her ears, “if you ever feel alone, you can come to me.”
It was obvious, wasn’t it? He was too honestly straightforward with her.
When the car pulled up in front of the gates, Victoria unbuckled her seatbelt, and got out pausing when she saw that another car was there. The car door opened and Donghae stepped out. A no-expression expression mocked her face as she stared at him.
“You’re here too?” Kyuhyun’s voice intruded upon their staring contest.
“I’m here for So Rae,” Donghae explained the obvious.
“I see,” Kyuhyun said then turned to Victoria, “I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
She nodded and watched as he got back into the car before driving off. For some reason she felt as if Donghae’s presence didn’t have a good meaning, so she stared at Kyuhyun’s car for as long as it stayed in sight.
“You playing hooky?” Donghae started.
Victoria’s lips tightened and she turned back to him with a frown. “Are you jealous?”
He snorted.
“Being called out by a woman must feel good, huh? That’s why you’re acting so mighty,” Victoria muttered.
“Go ahead and think what you want,” he retorted, “but didn’t I tell you before that he’s not yours, but So Rae’s?”
Victoria’s jaw tightened.
“Besides, what’s going on? What’s the reason why So Rae needs to get out of the house so early in the morning?” Donghae questioned in the tone assuming that Victoria knew everything.
She could only stare back at him.
“Are you trying to be a white knight in shining armor?” Victoria mocked. “Then let me tell you, you’re far from the likes of it. So Rae unnie probably only called you out because you’re the last thing she thought of. But, trust me, you’ll never be able to steal Cho Kyuhyun’s spot in her heart.”
Donghae grimaced at her.
“You don’t even know her, so why are you trying to act so high and mighty trying to protect her from everything?” Victoria added.
“At least she’s not as awful as you.”
Victoria felt her heart burn and choke up.
“Irritable, feisty, always angry, always shouting, no manners, and you’re never nice,” he pointed out, “So Rae, she needs someone to talk to more than you do. You aren’t even comparable to her.”
Victoria gritted her teeth, “You like her that much?”
The expression on his face was full of surprise, but he pressed his lips together then said, “Yes.”
Victoria discovered that she was now biting onto her bottom lip to get a hold of herself. She swallowed the pain in her clogging throat and looked away.
“Why?” he asked still sounding angry.
“You jerk, after all this time you don’t even see it,” she mumbled then screamed, “you’re just like a fly flying around cow poo!!”
Victoria turned and walked in through the door slamming it shut behind her. She stomped the rest of the way up the stairs and into the house only to come face to face with So Rae putting her heels on. So Rae stared back at her with those angry eyes full of blame then walking out. When the door closed, Victoria exhaled a breath full of mild sighs.
Holding in her anger, disappointment, sadness, and hurt as best as she could she speed walked through the hallway. Voices from the waiting room stopped her.
“Well who would have known that she overheard us?” Hee Young’s voice screeched.
“Why would you call her down here anyway?” her father sounded angry, upset.
“I just wanted to ask if she wanted to come down to the gallery with me,” Hee Young explained.
They were quiet. Victoria gulped.
“About the divorce, how should we explain it to So Rae?” Hee Young worried. “That girl, I didn’t know it’d be like this. She didn’t grow up right because of me, but if you’ve invested some more time into that child she wouldn’t be so stubborn!”
“Me? Are you blaming me?” her father asked angry that his wife was accusing him. “It was you who decided to have her! Who begged me? Who begged me to help? You should be thankful for all the years I’ve wasted just to house you two.”
“Why is it my fault? Why!” Hee Young raised her voice. “That Man Shik died? That I couldn’t prevent his death? Because I should’ve died instead of him?”
Silence. It was very quiet and Victoria almost felt the urge to peek in. Then her father groaned angrily.
“Go file the divorce papers, I can’t stand you either,” her father finally said.
Victoria’s world became mute. What was going on between her father and So Rae’s mother? What had they been arguing about? Who was this Man Shik? Why was the divorce taking place? Did they really hate each other this much? What would So Rae do? So Rae, who Victoria knew, would be most hurt?
Turning away Victoria walked toward the kitchen and grabbed the food she’d packed, and exited the house.
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