I jumped again, hearing the slam of the door. I didn't even have to turned around to second guess that Seunghyun had left the room. I looked at the electrocardiograph monitor, which flashed Mr Choi's increasing heart rate. I felt slightly sour. Their relationship... Is it so broken? I held onto my breath as I spoke again, "It's nothing, abeonim, it's nothing..." I said in hope that he would calm down, but his heart rate only kept increasing - it is close to a 120 beats/minute now. "Abeonim, please... Your health comes first. And if it makes you feel better, Seunghyun loves you. I'm sure he does." I paused, and thought, my hands slowly and gently the back of Mr Choi's hand. Honestly, I don't even know if Mr Choi is comfortable about me being here but I don't really know the right from wrong anymore; I am just going with my instincts now. His heart rate became more composed, "I'll come back, I promise you, abeonim." 

I ran outside with thoughts of pained Seunghyun clouding my mind. I didn't have to run far, though - He's still here, thank god. He stood facing the windows of the hallway. And for a brief moment, I'm glad we are entirely to ourselves - he needs some space, and not having people gawking at him was really a blessing. I went up to him and hugged him from the back, "I'm sorry..." I felt sorry for being so insensitive about his feelings. He must have felt so overwhelmed, but I was too. I would have never expected Mr Choi's condition to be this serious. It hurt me to see him on the bed with so many machines and tubes surrounding him, I can only imagine how Seunghyun would feel.
Seunghyun didn't respond to my touch, but I was thankful he didn't push me away. When I was running out of the ward, a part of me was so pained with fear that Seunghyun would disappear, or push me away. I shivered at the thought and pressed my cheek even closer to his back. 

"You called him abeonim..." 
I smiled - at least he's talking to me - then I turned him to face me, "I did..." 
"Why? He doesn't deserve it; you were so nice to him." He spoke, eyes still not meeting mine. His eyes, they screamed. He looked so lost, so confused, and so... hateful? Oh, no... Please, not hate, I begged silently.
"Are you okay?" he asked and I retorted his question, "Are you okay?", emphasizing on the 'you'. He grinned slightly, and I was glad I left him alone to think for a while before coming out to get him, despite the lurking fear of him leaving me. "I asked first" he said, pulling me closer to him. 
"I'm fine... I'm always fine when you're with me. How're you?" 
"I feel better now. I felt really suffocated inside - by him, by memories and by you." 
"Me...?" I asked, with no attempt to hide my surprise. 
He nodded, "You've heard all about him - how ed up he was. You don't even know him, but yet you were radiating warmth in the room, and that scared me. I don't think I can ever forgive him, Jae. I didn't even want you close to him." 
"It's okay, Seunghyun. He's not going to hurt me. And I'd prefer to forget his past. That way, all of us would be in a happier place. Baby, look at me" I shifted his face gently, waiting for him to look up, "Please. We'll try, remember? We'll try to make this work. We'll try to forgive, and forget. We'll try and even if we fail, it's okay. We'll keep learning, and we'll keep trying." 
For a moment, I thought I had him, but no, he tore his gaze away, "It's harder than you know, Jae. He had whacked the living daylight out of me, he abused my mom physically and hurt her mentally. He broke this family. He made her leave-" I couldn't listen anymore, I pressed my mouth against him. His surprise faded away, and he kissed me back, needy and fervent. 

When we finally pulled away, he held onto me so tightly, as if his life depended on it. "I'm so glad you're here." 
"I'm glad too," I reassured him, "Do you want to go back already?" 
He thought for a moment then the nurse interrupted us, "Mr Choi is awake, maybe not for long, but you can meet him once the doctors checked on him." 
I nodded at her, flashing her a smile while I felt Seunghyun stiffened around me. 
"It's okay. You don't have to do this today..." I whispered. He thought f