SH's POV - 

/flashback/

"Are you out of your mind?!" Sajangnim shouted over the phone. I didn't speak. What else could I say? I left for the obvious. I needed to get to Hyunjae. 
"Choi Seunghyun. Do you have any ideas how important this meeting is?!" 

I do, Sajangnim. I know how important this is, especially for our future plans in the United States. But there is something more important, someone more important waiting for me now.

I remained silent. 

"You crazy bastard. Are you mute?!" He shouted again, "Choi Seunghyun. You'll be the death of me." 

And he hung up. 

/end of flashback/

I closed my eyes, while the driver drove me to Hyunjae's house. 

I felt bad. How selfish can I be? Jae-sang hyung is growing viral internationally and especially in the United States, they love him. He nailed most of the contracts and performances. He did Korea so proud. Gangnam Style. The meeting is crucial if Big Bang wanted to be as wild and as hot as PSY is in United States. He was pulling strings for us with his affiliations. For that, I am thankful. But I can't attend it. Not now, at least. 

This time, even Jiyong got pissed at me. The whole of Big Bang couldn't comprehend how much I needed to leave. I can't stand the thought of Hyunjae facing it alone. I don't want her breaking down inside without me. Maybe even if I got there, nothing will change. But at least, I am there. At least she knows that no matter what happens, she has me. 

I sighed. What has Hyunjae turned me into? What happened to that kid who knows not of emotions and career is his number one priority?  

Hyunjae and I haven't contacted since 2 days ago. She doesn't know I'm coming over today so I don't even know where is she now.

"Jaeyoung? It's Seunghyun. Is Hyunjae at home?"
He sighed, "No. She hasn't come back since yesterday. I don't know where she is. We've tried to find her but Jonathan says it's better to leave her alone. Where are you now?"
"I'm in the car, supposedly on the way to your place. Do you know what happened?" I asked, trying to fish information from him. 
"Not a thing. It's ed up, really," his voice grew into a dark whisper, "Everybody knows what is going on, except me. It's ing ridiculous. My dad flew back home last night. To get him away from his business, it has got to me something major. But I don't even have a ing clue. It's... so ed up." 

Frustration was thick in his voice. I've never heard him sworn so much. I would be, too, if I were him. He cared so much about Hyunjae. 

"Hey... I know how you feel but don't do anything rash, okay? There must be a reason why they hid it from you. I'll try the cafe. I'll bring her back once I found her. Don't worry." I said, trying my best to sound like a rational elder brother. After all, I am older than Jaeyoung. Though, I kind of lied. I knew if Hyunjae doesn't wants to go home, I wouldn't force her to. But right now, it seemed like the right thing to say. Jaeyoung sounded like he was on a verge of exploding. I had to say something to make him feel better, at least. And I promised myself that I will try. 

Alighting me just by the cafe, I strolled down and into the cafe - No signs of her. Even Natasha wasn't there. I was beginning to grow frustrated. I walked up to the counter, ignoring if anybody could recognize me at this point. 

"Is Natasha here?" I was positive that it was a question, but somehow, it came out sounding like a command. 
The blonde just stared at me, "N..No." 
"Do you know where is she?" I tried again to sound more polite, but I don't think I fared very well. 
"She's out of town, to New York. 3 weeks now. I don't know when she'll come back" 

I cursed beneath my breath and with that, I stomped out of the cafe. I wasn't angry at Natasha, or Hyunjae, or the blond girl, for that matter. I was frustrated with myself. I was annoyed at my incapability to find my wife-to-be. I don't grow up here. I don't know where are the places that she would go. I don't know her hide outs. If Jaeyoung tried his best to locate her and failed, I don't have the confidence to do the same. I am nothing, but an empty vessel. I made her so many promises, but I don't even know where is she now. Angrily, I kicked the trash bags scattered at the small alley beside the cafe. People were looking, but not staring. They didn't know who I was, not yet. Clenching my fist, I got back into the car before my anger got into me again. Since I am already not at the press conference, I knew better to stay away from the public's eye. 

"Where to now, Sir?" the chauffeur asked. 
"Just drive me around." I said, closing my eyes. 

Mentally, I was tired. Too much had happened to Hyunjae and I. Sometimes, I even wonder if it's because of my selfish love that made us suffer. I am an idol, an international idol. I live under a telescope. I can never give her what she wants. I can never be there for her all the time. If I had chosen to let go of this love from the beginning, maybe things would have been better, for myself and her. But I love her. I will never be able to stay away from her. 

I know that. I didn't even have to flinch to make myself comprehend how much I love her and how much she had changed me. I love her. I've sworn my love to her. I've even sworn to her parents, that I will always stand by her, through good and bad times. Come what may, I will always love her. 

Then it struck me. Her parents. The graveyard. 

"Please drive me to the graveyard." I ordered, then corrected, "No. To a bakery first. Thank you." 

I have a strong hunch she is there. The graveyard is where she finds peace in; it is where she feels connected with her parents. Actually, I am not sure if she wants to feel connected with them now, but I am still going to try. Sometimes, you have to listen to your gut feelings. 

And there she was. I spotted her vintage Beetle. She's here. 

I walked slowly and gently, as if she could hear me. But when I was close enough, I found her asleep. Her face - peaceful and endearing. I sped up, and surrounding her were used Kleenex, and a box of letters...? Yes, they were letters, all unopened. 

 

*knock knock*

I knocked gently on the glass. 

Her eyes twitched but she didn't move. I knocked again. 
And finally, her eyes opened. Her eyes jolt to the windows and our eyes met. formed an "O". She forced a smile and gestured me to get in on the otherside. 

"Hey... I thought I'd find you here..." I said, looking into her eyes. They were so hollow and puffy. 
I kept my eyes on her. Neither did she speak. I miss her. I miss her so much. 

I leaned in for a small kiss. Our lips touched, just briefly. I felt afraid to touch her. She looked so vulnerable. It was as if I could break her with just my bare hands. 

"How are you, little warrior?" I a