"She can't come along. I'll arrange the check in for her. But she will have to go to the airport in another car" Byeong Yong whispered to Seunghyun in a rush. 

Arguments were arising. We were shouting, raising our voices. And to be honest, we were so mad at each other sometimes, we forgotten what we were fighting for. 

He nodded swiftly at Byeong Yong while Byeong Yong flashed me an apologetic smile and left the room. 

"Look... Let's stop this. I need to get you in the car. We're leaving in half an hour time." Seunghyun said, fingers running through his hair in distress. I was so disappointed in him. He was just dismissing the argument. He wasn't even looking at me. 

I grabbed my bags, and went down to meet Byeong Yong, to find him smoking with Teddy. "What's up with the two of you?" Teddy asked, taking a puff. 

I don't really want to talk about it but we know Teddy; he's as persistent as he can be. I closed my eyes, while my brain rummage through itself, identifying the reason that started our quarrel. 

Right. It was about his injured arm. 

"Seunghyun injured his arm, so he wasn't supposed to drink for 2 weeks. But yesterday he came back home drunk. He went drinking with these super models and a director. Put two and two together." 

"Jealously monster eating you up?" Teddy asked. "No!" I raised my voice a little. Why doesn't anybody get it? Yes, I was feeling slightly unhappy about the super models around him. But what angered me was the fact that he drank when he wasn't supposed to. What happens if the wound gets infected? 
"Alright, alright. I was just ing around with ya. Don't worry about it, I'll go talk to him" he said. 
"Don't bother, really..." I replied. 
"Come on, don't pout, Jae. Get inside. You need to go first." Teddy said, then urging me into the black Volvo. I gave him a hug, smiled to Byeong Yong and got inside.
 

In the plane, we kept to ourselves. Jiyong knew better to just blow off. Youngbae knows nothing, but his sensitive nature yield him away from making conversations to either of us. Daesung attempted to update Seunghyun about his Japan's happenings, to be replied with mere cold nods. Seungri was unusually quiet. From the corner of my eye, I watch as he tried to fake a smile to whoever that approached him. It pained me to see him being bothered by the scandal. But neither did I go over to try and make him feel better. One, I know that nothing I say will make him feel better. And two, I wasn't in the mood to console anybody. I cursed myself for displaying such a bad attitude but I can't help it. If anything, bringing me along in the Alive tour would caused them more hassle than help. Here, I am just Seunghyun's girlfriend. I should be more grateful than ever, yet here I am, pulling a face to the undeserving crew. 


As soon as we landed in Singapore, Big Bang had to rush off for a press conference. I wouldn't say I am familiarized with Singapore but I think I remember how to get around the area. I bade farewell to the crew, throwing lingering stares at Seunghyun. I know he wouldn't be happy that I am going to be wandering off on my own. But then again, he doesn't seemed bothered at all. Being mad, I had no interest to look around. In the end, I just took a cab to the hotel.

I started writing right after I took a bath. I spent almost 3 hours updating my travel blog and checking my e-mails. Then I saw the travel proposal again. There was a weird feeling inside. 1 year ago, I would have been thrilled being offered a proposal like this. It is a milestone to any travel blogger; it is like a dream come true. But why do I feel burdened by it now?

So much happened in 2012. I used to be a bird, carefree with not a single responsibilities. I'd fly to anywhere I please; meet new people, learn new cultures and languages. Then I met Seunghyun, and I fall in love. We could have started our traveling endeavors and live happily ever after. But he's not just Seunghyun. He is T.O.P of Big Bang. But feelings are feelings and I can't run away from the truth. I am in love with him, and he is too. He opened up my heart, taught me how to love, and most importantly, to forgive and forget. On 7th August 2012, Seunghyun got down on one knee and proposed. I said yes. 

I've never regretted saying yes to him because I can no longer picture myself with somebody else, if not Seunghyun. But there was this weird feeling that was in me... With these heavy thoughts, I climbed onto bed and tried to fall asleep. 

I never like falling asleep mad at Seunghyun, but I guess today will have to be an exception. I fidgeted on the bed for at least an hour, or more. Then, finally, my eyelids drooped lower, while I feel them getting heavier. Just as I was about to drift into sleep, I felt a slump on the other side of the bed. Almost positive I felt a presence, my heart pounded fast, with my thoughts engaging it to a paranormal activity. I mentally counted to 3 and dared myself to turn to where the slump is. 

The familiar scent engulfed me while a dark silhouette laid next to me. The dimmed lights from the cityscape shaped his jawlines, and long lean body. I know this silhouette all too well. 

"How did you get in?" I had little energy to carry on fighting with him. I missed Seunghyun, actually. 
"I requested to get your second card key earlier on from Byeong Yong." He said, his lips. I gulped, heart fluttering at the peek of his tongue. His dimples formed slightly, while he pressed his lips together, "How are you?" 
I held in a small laugh, "I'm good, what about yo