If I told you that I didn't care that Minki chose to go dance with Jia, that would be a lie. I cared a lot. Too much in fact. I couldn't stop him. I couldn't ask him to come back. That would make me selfish, he has every right to go dance with whom ever he wants. I have nothing to do with his decisions. He can make them on his own. I don't need to be there, I don't need to help him. He doesn't need my help. I'm not important in his life. I'm not special. I'm just another girl that fell in love with him. That's it. Just another girl in line. That's all I'll ever be. But why do I care so much? Why does my heart feel like its been shattered into millions of millions of pieces? I told myself it was impossible for him to like me back? I told myself not to care. I told myself to give up...

 

I stood there. I did nothing. I couldn't do anything is what I mean. Minki chose to go dance with Jia. And I watched Jia walk away with Minki her arms locked with his.

 

I kept telling myself it was just a dance. A simple dance. He could have just agreed to be polite, or just to be nice. But why am I still feeling this terrible feeling? I shouldn't be feel this way. I told myself to never be this way again.

 

I always end up this way...

 

I always rely on hope...

 

Even if my chances are very low...

 

This always happens...

 

I wonder why I do this to myself...

 

I looked down at the ground were my simple shoes were. I felt tears building in the back of my eyes. I didn't want to cry. No, I can't cry. Not here at least. I kept my head low as I quickly yet casually walked towards the nearest exit. The closest door seemed farther than it actually was, but I didn't pick up my pace to get there faster. I let my heart fill with regret. It was what I did when I was sad. I let myself feel the worst of pain right at the beginning so that it would only be getting better afterwards.

 

Once I finally felt the door knob in my grasp, I didn't hesitate to swing the door open. I took my first step out of the gym. There was no one in the halls, it was completely empty. I heard the door shut behind me. The music and chatting were all muffled behind the door now. I could hear the sound of my heavy breathing and my heart beeting. I felt miserable. But I kept telling myself that I shouldn't feel this way. Minki's love life had nothing to do with me. I shouldn't be acting the way I am now. But I am. And I can't do anything about it, because I felt the first tear fall. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop the rest so I swiftly made it to the exit of the building and walked out into the cold night.

 

My heart was pounding, I wanted it to stop. I kept wiping the tears away, but they didn't seem to stop. I felt weak. I felt like a wimp, like a loser for crying over something as stupid as this. I should not be crying. But I am. I am...

 

 

--

 

 

I ended up sitting at the top of the dorm building, watching the starry night before my eyes. There weren't a lot of busy streets or lights anywhere near here so the stars seemed extra brighter than usual. I sighed to myself. I stopped crying a while ago. But my heart was still twisted in thousands of knots.

 

I didn't even know what time it was. But I didn't want to leave this spot. It was very quiet and beautiful. Today was Friday, or maybe it was already Saturday. I didn't know. But I was guessing it might already be past midnight.

 

I could still hear music from the gymnasium. It was very faint, but it was still there. I didn't think the dance would be ending anytime soon.

 

I wonder if Minki's still dancing with Jia...

 

I brushed off that thought. Well, anything including Minki at the moment. I didn't want to start lamely crying alone again.

 

I took a deep breath as a calm breeze passed by. It felt good. The weather was getting colder, but it still felt nice. It calmed me down.

 

I closed my eyes. They felt heavy and stung because of the salty tears. My throat was dry and soar. I think if I would have made any sort of sound, only a sob would be able to escape. I was currently emotionally unstable.

 

I hated crying. It , a lot. I usually never cried. I would always try to avoid the things that hurt me. The only times when I cried this much was over my first stupid crush, and, when my mother died. That was it. I never cried over clothes or objects. I didn't cry because of physical cuts or wounds. I always shed tears over the cuts and wounds you couldn't see. The ones that were directed to my heart. The place where it hurt most. I loved my mother a lot, and when I knew she was gone and would never come back. I fell apart. When my first crush told me he had a girlfriend, it made me feel like all the feelings I was working so hard to keep, were all for nothing. And when Minki was being taken away, it made me feel like he was never going to come back. All my feelings for him felt rejected and thrown away.

 

I shook my head.

 

“Stupid, you're so stupid.” I mumbled to myself. I swallowed deeply as I felt a new set of tears finding its way to my eyes. I blinked them away as best I could. Thankfully I had enough self control to prevent myself from crying again.

 

“Stupid?” someone spoke up. I gasped while quickly standing up to turn to whoever that was. I almost tripped on my own feet when I saw Minki standing a few steps away from me. I was so shocked to see him I couldn't find the words to answer. All I could do was stare wide eyed. “What?” He asked. I heard the confusion in his voice.

 

“Uh...” I lamely muttered still in a daze of the situation. “W-what are you doing here?” I questioned, my voice was weak. I think he noticed. But I kept my face looking as straight as possible.

 

“Why are you here?” he repeated keeping his blank expression.

 

“U-um...j-just enjoying the view.” I answered.

 

I actually came here to cry...but no way in hell am I telling you that.

 

Minki slightly nodded in understanding. I awkwardly looked to the ground. Thinking he was going to leave, I turned around and sat down in my original spot. I didn't want to see him. I just didn't want to see anyone. I wanted to be left alone to eat away at my hopeless misery. Unfortunately, Minki sat next to me without a word. We weren't touching like last time, we were about arms length apart.

 

You're so close...yet so far away... I swallowed the sad feeling that began building up in my heart. What is he doing here? I questioned myself. I'm pretty sure I look like total crap right now...I hope my makeup didn't smudge too much...That would be embarrassing...

 

I didn't look at him, and he didn't look at me. He seemed a little disappointed for some reason though. I tried not to think about it too much, but by doing so, the only thing I could think of was him.

 

It started getting windier. But the breeze was nice. I watched Minki from the corner of my eye. He was gazing out into the night. His eyes were slightly squinting because of the wind. His hair was still up with my hair elastic. My heart leaped with joy when I saw it.

 

Maybe I was just over reacting with the Jia and Minki thing...Maybe he actually was just being kind. But he's never kind...not that I've seen...well, he is nice. But not like-

 

“W-what?” Minki suddenly asked. I flinched at his voice. I had just realized I was completely staring at him. My cheeks burnt with embarrassment.

 

“O-oh, s-sorry...” I apologized strangely unable to look away. Minki blinked his eyes cutely slightly looking away for a moment. His cheeks became pink a little bit. I swallowed at his odd actions.

 

“I was,” Minki began, but first cleared his throat, “looking for you.” he finished. He sounded like he was trying to act cool and calm. But I noticed him fidgeting in his spot.

 

Wait...he was looking for me?

 

“W-why were you looking for me?” I asked. I heard him swallow.

 

“W-well,” he stuttered, bitting his lips, “you left,” He paused for a a couple moments. He tried looked me in the eye a while, but quickly broke it off. My heart was beating like crazy at this point. I was confused with what I was feeling, I wanted to believe in that little bit of hope, yet half of me was telling me not to. “a-and, um, I w-was, worried...” he quickly ended turning his head away from me.

 

“Worried?” I whispered to myself.

 

I was happy. No...that wouldn't be the right word. I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe my ears. Minki was worried about me. Me. Mink. Worried....Minki was worried about me. Minki. MINKI!

 

Oh my God Minki was worried about me...I don't know how many times I need to tell myself to actually believe it...

 

--

 

“Hana?” I heard a girl voice call. I groaned at the uninvited sound to enter my ears. What was that? Who was that? What did they want? I slightly opened my eyes. I was so comfortable I didn't really want to. But I felt someone poking my shoulder.

 

“What?” I grunted raising my head from wherever it was leaning on.

 

“Sh!” Manwah gestured bring her finger over her lips. I blinked at the girl.

 

Manwah? What's she doing here? What time is it? Where am I?

 

I looked behind Manwah, I realized I was still on the roof. Jr was standing next to Manwah with a weird grin on his face.

 

“What's going on?” I whispered.

 

“Look beside you.” Jr chuckled. I raised an eyebrow at him, but did so none other the less.

 

My mind went blank.

 

Minki was sleeping soundly right next to me. His head resting on my left shoulder.

 

“Oh my God...” I squeaked, feeling my face turn bright red. Minki's eyes fluttered open. He raised his head away from my shoulder slightly tilting head up to me. Our lips were barely touching.

 

“S-sorry!” Minki blurted, shooting to his feet.

 

My face was screaming red, and my heart was pounding like crazy.

 

Were we sleeping...

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

On each other?

 

 

I blinked my eyes in disbelief.

 

 

JR POV

 

 

Manwah and I left the dance because people started to do some 'crazy stuff' and we got tired. We weren't able to find Hana or Minki anywhere. I knew Minki completely ditched Jia once he finally lost her in the crowd a while ago. But Hana was no where in sight. I hadn't seen her at all except when we greeted each other. Maybe she left early? I don't know...

 

Manwah was very worried and started spazzing out. We looked everywhere for her. First we went to the washrooms, well she went to the washrooms and I waited outside. Then we went to the library and looked around in there. We didn't see her so we searched around the field and near some big tree. Afterwards we went to check in her dorm. But she wasn't there. Her room was very neat by the way. Well, compared to our room...

 

We suddenly found ourselves peeking through the roof top door watching Hana and Minki sleeping. Minki had his head resting on Hana's shoulder while her head was resting on his own.

 

Manwah was squealing so much I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable she was acting. She was really the talker. She was chatting the whole night and I couldn't bring myself to hate it. She made me laugh and have the greatest night of my life. We talked about her old school in China and how she moved here. I told her about my arranged marriage with Jia, making sure to explain to her how much I disliked her. But I almost confessed to Manwah. I could have had a heart attack if she would find out. But thankfully I realized where I was getting at and changed the subject.

 

Manwah then told me that it was getting late and she was tired. Then she yawned. I almost died at how cute she looked while doing so. Anyway, Manwah tip toed to Hana's side and poked her unoccupied shoulder. I followed behind keeping my steps as quiet as possible. Hana woke up easily. I could tell she was clearly confused with what was going on.

 

“What?” she grunted rather loudly, raising her head from Minki's.

 

“Sh!” Manwah panicked, lifting her index finger to her pink lips. Hana blinked several times then noticed me standing behind Manwah. All I could to was grin at how clueless she was. I just wanted to yell 'Minki is right there you idiot!' and make her all nervous and flustered and stuff. But I didn't, because she could do that herself.

 

“What's going on?” Hana whispered.

 

“Look beside you.” I laughed. I saw her turn her head to Minki. She completely stiffened and let out a yelp in surprise. She mumbled something, but I couldn't hear what she said. I could see Minki waking up. He tilted his head slightly upwards, it felt just like in a kdrama at that moment. You know? Whenever the girl or guy would look up just at the right moment and right place so that their faces are barely touching and that they could dreamily stare at each other. But I don't watch kdramas, the only reason I know this is because of Baekho and his annoying rambling.

 

“S-sorry!” Minki blurted. He startled me to be honest. He shot up to his feet looking more flustered than ever. I've never seen Minki show any sign of weakness except today. He would usually keep a blank face, but that popular expression was now all red. He looked so unlike him I couldn't believe my eyes.

 

The first time I saw Minki was him handing an assignment to Manwah about a year ago. But because I was so stupid back then, I sort of over reacted and thought he was hitting on her. From that day neither of us really liked each other. But, now I feel really stupid. I knew Minki wasn't trying to hit on her. I was just acting like a stupid bum. I even spazzed out on Hana. Which I feel really bad for doing because of how much she helped me actually make some progress with Manwah...

 

What the hell is wrong with me? I'm such an idiot! I shook away those thoughts noticing the red light radiating from Hana's face.

 

“Hana?” Manwah asked, concern found in her tone.

 

“Y-yes?” Hana stuttered finally snapping out of her little daze.

 

Manwah whispered something in her ear. I couldn't hear it. I really wished I heard what she had said because Hana's flustered state twisted a bit. She seemed more sad and confused, yet she was happy at the same time.

 

I wondered what really happened up here.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

omg I updated so fast! wooo! It's because of the comments.

All because of the comments.

Anyway, did you like this chapter? or no? I wanted to get more of Hana depressing feelings in here.

It seems that Minki really didn't want to dance with Jia hmmm

I wonder why Minki was feeling disapointed before.... *taps chin*

-LonDon323