#30 - Other's Life

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Yongguk stared at the small photo he kept inside his wallet. It was a bit crumpled but he can see clearly the figures in the picture. His lips curved into a sad smile as his finger traced the faces in the photo. He has failed to take care of her. The worst failure he has ever done and he is more than just ashamed to be happy that his sister has woke up. 

He still remembered the day he met you. He descended the stair with his toy guy, staring at the woman he knew for quite a while. He vaguely remember his father's explanation about the woman standing in front of him with her warm smile. He only understand that his father will be married to this woman and she has a daughter. 

He can pictured how you peeked from your mother's back and stared at him with your curious eyes and he couldn't help but to smile at the sight. He loves you of course. You were a nice little girl that he wouldn't trade for anything else. But despite the love or the urge to treat you as his sister, he couldn't bring himself to shower you with love. Your face remind him of how his father would tell him about his new sister, and he didn't like it. He was jealous but he didn't know it'll be this extreme.

Yongguk's eyes darted at the room few meters ahead of him. He wished he could just run inside and hug her like there's no tomorrow, begging for her forgiveness. But of course he couldn't. He couldn't face her after the accident. If only he was the one who picked her up that day, maybe she won't be in the accident, maybe Himchan won't be in an accident. 

"you should see her." a voice said.

He looked up to see his friend looking at him as he took a seat next to his.

"I can't." Yongguk replied and the latter sighed.

"She loves you. She misses her brother and the only thing you should do is go to that room and give her a hug." 

"You don't know anything, Himchan." Yongguk said.

Himchan scoffed.

"Believe me, i know more than you think. Just go inside and tell her how you feel." Himchan said.

Yongguk didn't reply him. Himchan pats his shoulder.

"I'm telling you the truth. She may have B.A.P as her new friends and Hyojin noona as her new sister, but all she wanted is for you to be there. Be the brother she's been missing all these years." Himchan said and went back to his own room.

*****

His grip on the doorknow tightened. He wasn't sure if he should go in or not. It was 12 pm and he doubt you were still awake.

He wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for the Kim siblings. Not long after Himchan left, Hyojin came up to him and gave him a small book which contain his sister's heartfelt confession. He didn't know it was that bad. 

And after hours of reading the diary, he finally decided to end all the misery. He twisted open the doorknob and entered the room.

You were lying on the bed with IV injected to you. He approached you and sits on the chair next to the bed. He took a deep breath before he holds your hand and a smile crept up his lips as his eyes glistened with tears.

You look so pale and sick. He traced the bandages on your forehead and put strands of your hair aside. 

"i'm so sorry." he whispered, breaking down when the guilty feeling overwhelmed him.

"Oppa?" you opened your eyes and saw your brother wiping his tears away.

"Are you crying?" you widened your eyes and lift your hand to wipe his tears away when you realize he has been holding your hand all this time.

"I'm sorry." he kept mumbling.

You couldn't say anything and just wipe his tears away.

"It's not your fault. They said the driver was drunk.." You said.

"Not just that.. I'm sorry for all this years..." 

You stared at him apologetically. He looked so weak and broken and despite his harsh treatment all these years, you couldn't help but to feel sorry for him. 

"It's okay." you blurted out, tears falling down your cheeks unconsciously.

"Don't cry!" yongguk frowned when he saw you crying.

"But you cried! And i can't help but cry too!" You cried.

A soft chuckle escape his mouth as he watched you tried to stop crying only to fail miserably.

"Let's start new." He decided, pulling out his hand.

You nodded and instead of shaking his hand, you flung your arms aorund his neck.

"I missed this, oppa." you whispered.

Yongguk smiled and his arms envelop you in a hug.

"I miss this too." he whispered back.

*****

2012/07/10 tuesday

by seoulchae