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Your hurtful expression was the last thing he saw before you left and he didn't like it one bit. He entered the empty house, welcomed by the loneliness that used to be your only companion. His eyes fixated at Yongguk's shoes that were left on the steps. 

"Hyung." He called.

Yongguk emerged from the kitchen and looked at him, giving him a slight nod before walking back to his bedroom. Himchan frowned. Is that how his best friend treats his own sister? he kept thinking as he took a shower and lie down on his bed, with your diary next to him.

He grabs the book and opened it, flipping some pages. It stopped at a pages filled with a long list of songs he's unfamiliar with. a small note at the end caused him to stared at the book in awe. It was all done by you. 

"Yongguk hyung sure has missed such talent." he mumbled, flipping another page.

There are two pictures of Yongguk and the rest of B.A.P. One was taken on a birthday celebration and the other one was taken when they were being their dorky self. Himchan smiled at the memories before he frowned in confusion. 

'how did she get these?' he asked himself and read the entry below the picture.

*****

'I'm going to tell you a little secret. 

i commited a crime today. Two to be exact. i stole this from the table next to the bathroom. Yongguk oppa doesn't seem to realize so i guess what he doesn't know won't hurt him right? 

i'm going to introduce you to him. He's the one holding the cake. He just celebrated his birthday few months ago and judging by these photos, they're his best friends. They look so happy, huh? My brother looks very happy with them. maybe that's why he rarely go home early. If only i could have friends like him...

anyway, i'm about to tell you another thing. You probably hate him now huh? hm, i should name you first... nah, diary sounds fine. okay then, diary...

You probably hate him now but don't. He's a very nice guy. He always make sure he picked me up after class and i'm grateful for that. He doesn't hit me, which is good right? I don't know whether he loves me or not but i don't think he hates me and i'm content with that.

Well, let's se... the one with red beanie seemed like a funny guy. and the guy with the permed hair looks so cute, he could be my little brother haha. the two with the caps look handsome and sweet while the one with a chubby cheeks looks like a prankster. idk, they look like an awesome group of friends. Not like mine.

Haneul and Jiyoon is like the B*tch. sorry for the foul language but i couldn't find any word that describe them better. Hyungseok is like the male version of Haneul. all they do is criticize people. 

Hyunah is nice. she's the nicest of them all. And i think she's not that fond of them too, but we don't have any choice. 

anyway, today is my birthday but yongguk oppa didn't say anything. i guess he must be too busy to notice. Maybe next year... :)

-yoora-'

*****

Himchan wished  he could go to yongguk's room and punched him for being such a lousy brother. That's what he wants to do but he would look crazy. His finger grazed at the slightly wrinkled paper and notice some blurred words. 

'she cried.' he thought.

Himchan bit his lip as he felt a pang in his heart.

'what kind of life did she actually lived?' he thought.

*****

He heard Yongguk left the house not so long after.

"where are you going hyung?" he opened his door and peeked his head out.

"somewhere." he replied and closed the front door.

himchan sighed and not wanting to carry such guilty feeling, he decided to call you.

"yeoboseyo?" Your voice answered him.

"I'M SO SORRY!" he blurted out.

"Himchan-oppa?"

"I'm so sorry. i shouldn't have said such things... i know it must be hard on you." he kept blabbering.

You couldn't help but to smile at the other end.

"I guess i can forgive you." You said, causing him to beam.

"Thank you! see you tomorrow! Good night!!!!!!" he shouted.

"Good night, oppa." You replied.

"And Yoora?"

"hm?"

"Yongguk didn't know what he has missed on all this time. He's being an idiot. " Himchan suddenly mumbled before he hung up the call.

A smile crept up his lips as his eyes slowly gets heavier.

*****

2012/06/09 saturday

by seoulchae