===============

He once again managed to find another excuse to get away from his new friends and sit under a big tree. His hand grabbed the diary from his bag and he opened it, revealing another entry he was so eager to read.

'hey diary...

do you think i'm ugly? I am, aren't I? ugly and fat and despicable...

i knew it... i hate myself too :(

I saw Haneul with her boyfriend today. He was pretty good looking i suppose. Not my type but he's okay...

And it was like a stab in the heart when she told me to get one too since i'm too "LONELY"

am I?

Is it really wrong to enjoy this life without being bothered by boyfriend issue? I'll find one eventually, right?

I read books. i wrote, i draw. I do things she might not be able to do... Does she even have the right to insult me like that? NO.

But i can't help to be so conscious of everything.

I met Chaerin today... She said i'm skinnier :D

although i don't think i am, but still XD i think it's one of the best thing i've heard.

She brought me LOTS Of things, and we hung out like old times..

She's a good friend of mine, diary. Despite her snarky and blunt personality, she's very nice. We have so many things in common.

Too bad she has to leave soon too .. i couldn't talk to anyone other than her.. well i have my other friends but they're scattered around the country, which is not very helping.

And diary, can i tell you another secret? please, this one is something you can't tell anyone..

I'm bullemic. :'(

*****

Himchan silently gasped at the entry he just read. Impossible, he thought. But then he started to realize some things. How pale you look, your sad expression, and other things he has missed the past month he knew you. 

"HIMCHAN~!" Haneul's voice broke his train of thoughts.

He cursed silently and tucked the diary back into his bag before he greeted her back.

"why?" he asked.

"can you take me to get some ice cream?" She batted her eyelashes.

"I'm sorry i can't . i have to go somewhere..." he said.

"where? To that stupid looking girl?" She snapped and rolled her eyes.

"You better shut you mouth, Haneul-ssi. I don't like it when you insult someone important in my life." He hissed and his eyes darkened.

Haneul looked at him and smirked.

"What's so good about her huh? She's not skinny, she doesn't have big eyes like me, or small pointy nose like Hyunah.. She's so plain.." Haneul said.

"at least she's not plastic like you. and to be honest, you're not that pretty to me. your eyes are too big, it's scaring me. You're not tall, heck you're short. And your personality? It'll take hours to list everything that i hate about you." Himchan coldly said and left her dumbfounded.

'who is that yoora anyway. Hyungsik and hyunah said he's single. idiots.' haneul's grip tightened as she watched the guy she tried to approach walked further away.

*****

"You okay man?" Hyungsik asked.

"You should teach your girlfriend how to control ." Himchan hissed.

He didn't know why he was so mad when Haneul insult you. You can't even hear her. But he got angered at how badly you were spoken by your own friends and he hated it. He already read another entry and it started to form a certain story. 

you weren't happy. You weren't being yourself. Despite how calm you might look, you weren't inside. 

But he asked himself for the nth time, why is he THAT angry?

is it because you're his friend? Because you were going to go back living with them again? 

He doesn't know, but one thing for sure, his heart ache every time he read your diary entry and every single moment they talked bad about you.

*****

His anger seemed to vanished the moment his call got answered. Hyungsik and Jiyoon watched him in amusement as his face brightened.

"You came? With who? ALONE?! it's dangerous pabo!" he scolded.

'well i'm sorry, KIM HIM CHAN. Everyone have class and they don't know you...' they heard you answer him.

"That's OPPA for you! i'm coming down now. Don't move!" he said and hung up.

"I better go. See you!" he waved and left the class abruptly.

Hyungsik watched him left and turned to jiyoon.

"Who is he talking to?" 

"No idea. Wanna come and see?" Jiyoon asked.

*****

You were sitting on a bench near the gate, looking at the building, hoping to catch a glimpse of himchan when a shadow fell over you. You look up and smile.

"yes?" you asked.

"Who are you to himchan?" You raised your eyebrows at how cocky she sounds.

"Well, i don't think it's any of your business. What did he say?" you replied.

"Don't try to act smart with me, you ugly thing. Let me tell you something. Stay away from him. He doesn't deserve an ugly-fat-worthless girl like you!" she spats.

You didn't reply her and just stared at her with hurtful expression. Is that what she thinks of you? all this time you tried to think positively of her, and yet this is what she told you. She smirked.

"What? Cat got your tongue. So you do admit you are ugly didn't you? I can see your expression. Why would himchan be with you anyway? I'm prettier, obviously and i'm way better than you." she continued.

You blinked back the tears as she spatted venomous words, insulting you by any means possible.

"You really have the nerve to say that after what i told you huh?" A low voice surprised both of you.

She jumped and turned around, flashing her innocent smile.

"Himchan! i was just saying hi... right?" She turned to you and glare at you.

You looked at himchan with your hurtful eyes and turned away, enough for himchan to know how hurt you were.

"I have never hate anyone as much as i hate someone like you, haneul. You're a B*tch." He said and took your hand.

"Don't try to mess with my girlfriend anymore or you will pay for it. I'll destroy that plastic face of yours." He glrared and pushed her aside roughly, draging you with him.

*****

2012/06/14 thursday

by seoulchae