Failure to Apologize
Only You
You head to Chen’s house after school intent on explaining your thinking to him. As you walk, you practice what you’ll say.
“Hey, Chen, so…I just- no, that’s weird…”
“Hey, Chen! No, maybe I should be sad…oh, the shy girl approach…”
“Um…hi, Chen. Could I talk to you? Oh that’ll definitely wor-” You break off as you near Chen’s house.
Taking a deep breath, you go up to the front door and ring the doorbell. You’re left standing for a minute or so, and then you ring the doorbell again. The door remains shut.
You frown. Had Chen’s family gone out? Or-
“Oh,
“Ah, you went grocery shopping, ahjumma?” You ask her, taking some of the bags from her hands as she struggles to open the front door.
She fumbles with her keys for a moment, and then looks up at you. “Oh, what? Yes, I did.” She says, distractedly. Giving up on her keys, she stuffs them into one of her many bags and bangs on the front door. She smiles apologetically at you, and then looks impatiently up at her house.
“CHEN!” She hollers. “Aish, where is that boy?” She mutters, reaching for her keys again.
You quickly take them from her, sliding the bags further down your arms and slipping the key into the lock. With a satisfying click, the door swings open.
Mrs. Kim smiles at you gratefully, and ushers you inside. She takes the groceries from you and walks off. As she returns, she calls out, “Chen! You have a visitor!”
Suddenly Chen was standing at the foot of the stairs looking haggard. You're not sure how he had changed so much between yesterday and today.
“Why don't you two go up to Chen's room?” Mrs. Kim says sweetly. “I'll bring up some tea, okay?”
You nod and smile back at her. Chen just turns and trudges back up the stairs. With a frown, you follow him.
“Why are you being like this?” You demand, once you are safe within the confines of Chen's closed room.
Chen shrugs. “Why'd you come here?” He asks lazily.
You feel furious. You had never seen him act like this before, let alone experience it first-hand.
“Chen, I came to talk to you. As a human-being to another. But if you're gonna keep acting like this, maybe I should leave.” You say in as harsh a voice you can manage.
“Maybe you should.” He says hollowly, flopping onto his bed.
“CHEN!” You bark, and he barely glances up. You put your hands on his shoulders.
“Chen, look at me. Look at me, I said. Why are you doing this?”
“Look at you? Look at you?!” Chen finally shows some emotion, knocking your hands from his shoulders. “What have I been doing all this time?! Ever since I came here, I only ever looked at you! But once, just once, did you notice?”
“Chen! What the hell?” You yell. “How is it my fault if you don't make a move until someone else comes along?!"
"You freaking coward!” You scream.
There's silence, and your words echo in your brain. You immediately regret them.
“Chen! Chen, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-!”
Chen's lips turn up into a forced, ugly smile.
“When people are angry, they say their true feelings.” Chen states in a lifeless tone.
“Don't apologize if you're not truly sorry.”
I originally planned for this chapter and the next to be one, but it got really long... so the chapter preview that was in ch 14 is actually the preview for ch 16 :D
thanks for all your support! remember to comment,
(and thanks to those who wished me good marks on my presentation :P)
Double update today, so no preview~
Comments