Chapter 44: Put my heart where everyone can see

Heads up: Gaiss this is not a Yulsic scene. I repeat. Not a Yulsic scene. And uh, the scene goes back and forth between flashback and current. Most of the flashback would be in italics bold. Just in case ya’ll gets confused. Love ya awesome nerds, and I know you gais hates me down to the core.

 

 

 

 

“Girl, you’re crazy” her blonde haired chuckles

The tan woman shrugs and musters a smile “I am. For her”

The small group of friends immediately cringes “AWW MANNN, come one” followed by laughter. They were happy for her. She was genuinely exultant and there’s nothing that they could’ve asked for for her.

“It’s me and her against the world”

**

She stops in front of a familiar looking building.

I shouldn’t

I shouldn’t have come here

Come on Tiff, you’re helping out a friend here

Friend? Tiffany huffs, they’re not even friend to begin with.

She hated my guts, and I’m supposed to hate her just as much or maybe even more! 

Tiffany contemplated whether she should enter the building or not when suddenly someone broke her from her trance.

“Miss Tiffany? Is that you?”

“Mr Robinson, Hi!” The latter was surprise seeing the woman that he hasn’t seen for quite a while shows up in front of him.

“Hello my dear, it has been awhile. How are you? Look at you, You’re getting prettier and prettier every time I see you”

Tiffany chuckles , “Thank you Mr Robinson, you flatter me. How have you been Sir?”

“Ah same ol, same ol” The old man smiles at the latter. His face turns solemn “I guess you’re here because of the news I presume? Poor child”

Tiffany nodded “I… urm, the doctor calls. They couldn’t  get their hands on Mr and Mrs Park. They’re probably too busy, So, yah.”

The old man hums in understanding “I think you and I know the difference between being too busy and ignorant, yah?”

                Mr. and Mrs Park. The- too- busy- too- care kind of parents. It’s not like they didn’t care about their daughter. They do. It’s just that, it’s lesser compared to Kahi’s other siblings. The main reason probably because of the path that Kahi took that’s different from her brother and sister who opted to pursue family’s business for their careers. Kahi is an aspiring dancer, she even managed to open her own studio solely based on her talent and determination.

The studio.

That’s the place where she met Kahi for the first time. Tiffany was entrance by how the older woman moves and how big her smile was when she teaches a group of stray kids dancing. It was kind of like an annual program for the studio when Tiffany decided to check it out after seeing a flyer across town for the past 2 years she’s bee living in the same area.

“She never stops thinking about you, you know” Old man Robinson starts to speak again

“Ah.. yes. I’m sure she does” Tiffany smiles a little, a slight disbelief shown on her face

“It wasn’t like what you think it is Miss Tiffany” He added, leaving a sad smile on his face. If only she knows, he thought to himself as he scrutinizes the woman in front of him.

“I think you should enter now, it’s getting cold outside”

Tiffany hesitantly steps into the lobby and make her way towards the elevator.

--

I’m sure she changed her passcode by now. I’m such an idiot. How am I supposed to enter and grab her stuff??

Is it possible if I glare at this box for a while and beams comes out from my eyes and destroyed the thingy and I’d eventually able to get in? Oh God, no Tiff,

What if she hasn’t change her passcode. No. I’m sure she already changed them the moment I walk out the door.

Regardless, Tiffany slowly punches the code of her birthday, and the familiar ding and green light from the box took her by surprise.

What? She didn’t change it. Why? Did she forgot to change them?? Tiffany brush the thought off, foreseeing the fact that why would her ex fiancé even forget to change them when she needed to key in the number every day.

She slowly opens the door and were welcomed by the scent of Ocean Oasis that she’s accustomed with.

Everything was at the same place. Nothings change. As if she never left the apartment at all.

 

**

“DON’T TALK ABOUT HER USING YOUR FILTHY MOUTH YOU PIECE OF !”

The tan woman was enraged. Her mother was clearly stunned by her daughter sudden wrath.

The other woman standing in front of her unperturbed as she keeps on going “She only likes you for the money, and she doesn’t love you at all. She even brags about her latest conquest amongst her colleague.”

“I told you she was up to no good” Her mother adding fuel to the fire. “Naya was right. I saw it with my own eyes she was being all cosy with this low life guy along the street”.

Her mother took out a brown envelope from her Prada bag and throws sets of pictures on the coffee table “Look at it yourself. What kind of girl are you trying to bring into our family Kahi. Naya is way way better than this… woman. You’re crazy Park Kahi”

She didn’t even bother looking at the pictures, she gave Naya a menacing glare, and turned to her own mother. “yes, I am crazy. I’m crazy about her”

 

They can call me whatever they want

Call me crazy

You can call me whatever you want

But that won’t change me

I just don’t care what the world says

I’ m going make it

They can call me whatever they want

So what if I am crazy.

 

**

She zipped up the duffel bag after shoving in a bunch of clothes that the woman might need. She wasn’t keen on staying in the apartment for too long. There’s too much pain just by breathing in the room.

 

As she was about to leave the room, her gaze was fixated at a frame beside the bed.

She was loss for words. There it is, a picture of her and her ex fiancé that they took few days before the break up.

What the hell?

 --

Without thinking too much, she quickly ran out of the room and makes her way to the living room before she knock her foot at the side of the coffee table

!

Tiffany rubs her foot trying to easy off the pain. She was overwhelmed, her eyes was suddenly blurry. She didn’t realised she was tearing up.

No, no, no, no, Please no, god. Not again

She suddenly has the urge to run away so she hastily gotten up, dragging her feet and the duffel bag. Before she could even slam the door, she is yet again dumbfounded by the sight of another frame. A picture of her, sat nicely on the kitchen counter with one familiar pink elephant keychain.

What? She..she threw that out of the window… she..hated it.. what??

Her heart is in great pain She was struck with thousands of emotions.

What the hell is going on?

SLAM!

 

***

She was exhausted. She was basically dragging her feet, trying to reach her apartment before she collapsed on the ground.

It was slightly weird. She’s easily out of breath nowadays, probably because of the encounter with her mother and the devil this morning.

She was met with a gorgeous megawatt smile the moment she opens her door. There she was, standing in the kitchen wearing plain white shirt with short short, her hair was in a messy bun and she has her dorky glasses on. “Hey baby, tired? Look what I got for you from Bangkok” Giddily showing the other woman a pink elephant keychain.

Her sense of displeased and nagging feeling regarding the latter was quick disperses in the air.

“I’m so in love with you” she softly utters them as her voice travels in the quiet confined space that she called home.

The eye smiling queen makes her way towards her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her neck and giving her the sweetest kiss, muttering the same sentence over and over again.

 

Oh lord,

Hear me turn these words into a song

For them to sing along to when I’m gone

 

**

Tiffany was back in her own house, hugging her knees as she rest in the living room.

Her heart still bleeds after what she has to go through for the past hour.

She needs some explanations.

Some sort of closure.

Closure for what exactly? She has no ideas.

Why?

She quietly mutters to no one.

 

**

“Okay guys! That’s a wrap. I know it’s still early, but I ‘m feeling under the weather, so I might need some rest okay?

The kids smile and wave at the tan woman before exiting the studio.

“You okay? Clara, her assistants pops out from nowhere ‘You don’t look good lately K”

“No worries C, I think might be down with a fever soon”

“You’ve been coughing non stop K, should go and get em check soon tho”

Kahi nodded “yah, I will. Thank man”

The younger woman smile before leaving Kahi behind.

Kahi lets out grunts of endless pain she had held in throughout the conversation.

“FCK”

__ __

It has been months holding in the excruciating pain, Kahi refused to go and see the doctor and she was able to control her expression every time Tiffany is around.

“Babe, are you ready?”

Kahi took a deep breath and puts a smile on her face

They were invited to attend to one of Tiffany’s friend’s baby revealing party. Tiffany was fussing about the gender and was very excited to buy barbies or spaceships for the baby soon.

“Babe, don’t put them in a box. You should buy whatever the baby likes”

Tiffany gives a big smile “Yes, true. I shouldn’t do that. If he wants to play with dolls, I should get him one and vice versa”

During the party, Tiffany’s friend gives her the honour of popping the balloon that contains the gender of the baby. Too excited about being the chosen one, Tiffany has failed to see the heart-warming smile of the people around her, they too were extremely excited over Tiffany’s reaction when it finally dawn on her what the party is about.

“if the glitter is blue, means it’s a boy, if the glitter’s pink, it’s a girl” Tiffany’s friend’s explains

“I’m excited and I’m not the ones pregnant” Tiffany exclaimed which received laughter from her friends “Here goes nothing” She prick the balloon using a needle. It pops and burst out golden glitters instead.

Clearly confused by turn of the event, Tiffany has yet to noticed snickers and excitement of her friends. She also failed to realised her girlfriend of 3years was kneeling besides her holding a turquoise box in her hand.

“Wait, what’s this?” Tiffany picks up a piece of paper on the ground

“Will… you…marry… me?”

She looks around, seeing people smiling everywhere and her gaze suddenly falls to her left side.

There was a surge of emotions suddenly gust on her chest

Her eyes suddenly filled with crystal clear

“Tiffany Hwang Mi Young, will you marry me?”

The warm smile on Kahi’s face was the last thing she sees before she pounced herself muffling yes yes yes over and over again against her now-fiancé’s chest.

 

__ __ __

Kahi took a deep breath as she leans against the chair in the doctor’s office.

“oh”

The doctor’s looks at her with such grieve in his eyes.

It was never an easy task to deliver such news to people.

“We need to set you up for several appointments Miss Park”

Kahi gives him a bitter chuckle. “Wow, did not expect that at all. So, lung cancer huh?”

“I’m so sorry Miss Park”

A sudden bing comes from her phone, notification from her fiancé. Her freakin fiancé, which she  just proposed a few months ago.

Her eyes was glazed “yah, I’m sorry too”

__ ___ __

She knows that eventually she’s going to die.

Who in the in the right mind would drag their loves one into the darkness with no future at all.

Tiffany does not deserve this at all.

She deserves to live happy with a healthy lover and bright future ahead of her. She deserves so much love which Kahi cannot give.

How?

Kahi walks solemnly into a nearby café as she orders her favourite coffee.

Tears were threatening to fall down her face. Being terminally ill is painful, but whats more painful is giving someone hope and happiness only to rips them away and leave them forever alone in this world.

She couldn’t bear the thought of a heartbroken Tiffany, maybe… no! no no no

She couldn’t break this news to Tiffany. No no no

Before her thought runs wild, she heard familiar voices behind her booth. Sobs that she have heard before

“Babe what did they said this time?”

Brittany?

“the usual.” A bitter chuckles from what she can confirmed her fiance’s voice “They threatened to hurt me…”

“Which they did! The ?? Those people are crazy, they almost ran you over with a damn car. Jesus Christ. Thank god nothing severe happen to you”

Who the fck hurt her baby?? Calming herself down, not wanting the two women notices her presence, as she keep on eavesdropping.

“What else did they do to you??”

“Almost got fired this morning, Naya messed up my documents, thank god I have the copy”

Brittany huffed in annoyance “ is crazy. What does she wants from you??”

“My fiancé apparently” she mutters slowly

“Speaking of the fiancé, when are you going to tell her about the abuse that you get from her mom and the crazyass woman?”

“No. I can never tell her that”

“Why? you’re afraid that she won’t believe you?” Brittany asked

Tiffany gives a bitter smile “It’s the opposite actually. I know she would believe me. She would drop everything for me Britt. But you need to understand that she has been working hard to mend her relationship with her parents. It breaks my heart if she cut the ties. I can never see her hurting like that”

Kahi was in tears. Her heart breaks listening to her fiancé’s confession.

“But Tiff, it has been 3 years. How many times do you have to lie to Kahi about all the bruises that you get? How many times do you need to have sleepover with me in hoping that she wouldn’t see them? How long can you…”

“As long as I want” tiffany interferes “I love that woman down to the core. I would do anything for her even if it gets me killed one day”

“Jesus Tiff… you’re crazy”

Another genuine smiles shown on her face as Kahi can see Tiffany’s reflection on the mirror

“yes, I am. Crazy about her”

Kahi cried silently

She cried knowing that Tiffany would do anything for her happiness

She cried because Tiffany would die for her

She cried knowing her fiancé has been abused by her own mother

She cried because she doesn’t deserve that woman at all.

 __ ___ ___

“OH MY GOD HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??”

“AFTER ALL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH?????”

“I FCKING LOVED YOU!!!”

 

Heartbreaks

“Huh, never thought of you finding out this way. Meh, anyway, so… there’s that. I’m getting sick of putting up with you anyway. Fcking needy. God”

 

Tiffany couldn’t breathe

“No, please, tell me you’re joking… please Kahi, no…”

“Why would i? Phew, I’m glad this is over. Should’ve dump your when my mom told me. Such a sad pathetic woman”

“Don’t you dare tell me what we have for the past 4 years is all a joke to you. If this is some sick game you play, why did you stayed with me for all these years?”

Because I love you that’s why

“I thought I can finally settle down. Nope, turns out I’ m getting bored of playing doll house with you. I’m just basically sick of you in general”

Her heartbreaks seeing Tiffany’s face

“The was really bad. Oh god. It was really bad to the point that I end up having with Clara every single time  we had one”

Tiffany got on her knees walking slowly towards Kahi, there wasn’t a single anger that can be trace on her face.

“Look me in the eyes, and tell me, within the years that we have been together, you have never love… me. Not even an ounce of love. Tell me… tell me, and I would leave you alone.”

Her voice was shaky, filled with despair that Kahi was almost, almost wanted to hug her and tell her this is just a plan. She love her so much and she wants to grow old with her and she was fcking sorry

She swallowed a bitter lump in . Applying the greatest face she has practiced over the years of faking in front of her parents. Kahi smirk. She took their engagement picture, breaks the frame against the wall which startled her lover. She took the picture and tears them apart, pieces by pieces.

“I have never love you since the beginning. Your body is the only thing that I was after”

Kahi said it with such a menacing voice that she never thought she has

LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES

The word lies goes over her head like a mantra

Tiffany’s face expression right then was the countenance the she would like to forget. It was full of disappointment, dejected, desolation and everything in between.

Kahi took off her ring throw it away.

“Get the fck out of my fcking house”

And the lies continue even when Tiffany ran out of the house. Even when Clara shook her head after their so called ‘’act and her friend was clearly frustrated with her.

“I m dying” she mutters “and Tiffany doesn’t deserve to live under the wrath of my mother”

“Don’t you think she deserves to know?? You could’ve fight for her man! What happen with you and her against the world? What happen to ‘I am crazy about her??”

Kahi cries and she cries

 “I would fight for her, I would declare war against the world for her… but I am dying. I am dying Clara. And she deserves a whole new life and love for her. The love that I couldn’t provide for the rest of her life”

 

Oh lord

Let me be the one to set them free

I will give them every part of me

Put my heart where everyone can see

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author’s attempt of apologising:

Well.. hello guys : ) how has it been? Pretty bad huh?

This is a shoutout to cooljags. My awesome subscriber pm’ed me on  the 13^th July 2017, around 21;45 or something, encouraging to update and I kinda promised her an update over the weekend. But as you can see I m a terrible person. Nows December. Wow,,, I am such an . I m so sorry.

Dear cooljags please don’t be mad me. Love yaaaa

Au revoir ; ))