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“Common Hee Jin you can do this. Your mother needs the money. She needs a heart operation. She’ll die if you don’t send her the money. This is not the time for you to be selfish. Stop thinking about yourself and think about your family” she’s been talking to herself repeating the same thing over and over again, trying to convince herself that this is the right thing to do and the only thing she could do.

~Flashback~

Her phone rang in the middle of the night, seeing that it was her brother she hurriedly picked it up. “Neechan, something happened to okaasan”

"Why? What’s wrong with her? What happened to her?” she asked panicking. She loves her brother so much but his phone calls are going to give her a heart attack.

“The loan sharks came again and trashed everything. Okaasan had a heart attack seeing me and otoosan got beat up. Were at the hospital right now and the doctor said that she needs to have a bypass operation soon or it will lead to more complications” his voice low and full of anxiety but no more tears this time. He decided that he’s too old to cry and his family is depending on him.

She was shocked, the thought of her mother who’s lying in the hospital bed unconscious with different machines sticking on her made her head spin. She can’t bear to see her like that. She’s used on seeing her full of life, nagging at her and at her younger brother on studying and finding a rich lover to marry them off.

“Neechan, how are we going to pay for the operation? My salary as part timer is barely enough to pay for our everyday expenses and dad’s work isn’t even enough to buy a meal.”

“Don’t worry I’ll send money. I got a high paying job and my boss is nice enough to give me advances” she lied.

“What kind of job is that?” he asked a bit suspicious of her. True they really need money but he wouldn’t let her get in any trouble just for their sake. He’d rather suffer than let anything happen to his only sister who practically raised him since their parents are working really hard though their social status remained the way it was.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad and you know that I can take care of myself. Just take care of yourself and otoosan and okaasan too” she tried to assure him though she knows he’s not fully convinced

“Fine just don’t do anything stupid and be careful. My sanity could only take so much.  I’ll really lose it if anything happens to you”

~End of Flashback~

She entered the room and left as soon as possible making the least contact with people there as much as possible. She decided to borrow money from the loan sharks since no bank would lend her money and she doesn’t know anyone who can personally lend her money either.

“You’re really an idiot” she talked to herself again. She must be really losing her mind since she’s been doing that a lot lately. “You borrowed money from a loan shark. Haven’t you learned from your father’s mistake already? Did you forget that borrowing caused all this trouble in the first place? Your brother just told you not to do something stupid and here you are doing exactly that”

She let out a laugh with no humor in it, letting out the frustration on what’s becoming on her life. She doesn’t know what’s going on anymore. She used to plan her life like all other people do. What she’ll be 5 years from now, where she’ll be after 10 years and who’ll she’ll be with for the rest of her years. But all of that seems impossible right now. Like a child believing in Peter Pan waiting for him to come to take them to Neverland, never grow up and live life like it was all a simple treasure hunting game.

But she knew better, this is reality and life is unfair like it was and always will be. You have to deal what life throws at you and now life is throwing her a huge rock waiting to see if she could carry it or be squished under it. Smiling at her own mishap “you can do this. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, just work hard and everything will eventually be alright.”

~*~*~*0~*~*~*~

“Good Job everyone”

“You’ve worked hard”

They’ve been practicing at the SM studio for the past hours. Sweaty bodies sprawled over the floor and heavy breathing can be heard all over the room. They kept practicing, perfecting the steps and transitions making sure that there are no flaws and only perfection for their beloved fans. After showering they are dressed in casual clothes and headed to the company’s car.

 “I’m hungry, let’s eat” exclaimed Junsu who was rubbing his stomach.

“Yeah lunch was the last meal we had and I’m starving” added Jaejoong.

“It’s past dinner time and there probably won’t many people around. So anywhere will be fine” said Yunho who is in charge of making decisions since their manager isn’t around.

“Ohh, I know a good place.”

“Leave it to Changmin to know where the best place to eat” teased Yoochun but was ignored by everyone since their too tired to play.

Changmin took them to a place where there aren’t much people around since they don’t want any attention and want to eat in peace. The waitress took their orders and flirted with Changmin a bit. Yes, he’s tired and probably half asleep already but not that tired to turn a girl down.

“What?” he exclaimed as he realized s are staring at him. “I was being nice” he defended.

“You are really something makhnae” said Yunho whom Changmin couldn’t identify if it’s a compliment or insult. But all thoughts were forgotten when their orders are served.

They all ate to their hearts content, none of them speaking. Their minds were focused on eating when they heard hands clapping from the few customers the restaurant had. All of their attention was at the two couple with the man on bended knee holding what it seems to a ring, and from the looks of it proposing. The girl probably said yes because applause and cheering can be heard all over the room and the man was smiling from ear to ear.

“When can I find a girl like that?” asked Junsu to no one in particular. His eyes still fixed on the couple who was thanking everyone for their congratulations.

“What? I thought you love girls so much that it’s a crime to tie you down and not share the xiahtic love?” asked Changmin head buried at the menu looking for what to order next.

“Yes I love girls but someday I want to love a girl. I can’t become a bachelor all my life. Not right now but maybe in the future I want to have a girl who could love me as Kim Junsu not as Xiah Junsu of Dong Bang Shin Ki. And we’ll make lots of twins.” He said proudly, even sticking his chest out a bit. Having the twin gene isn’t something everyone has after all.

“Hey what if he really got twins and they’ll also have his duck and they follow him everywhere he goes” taunted Jaejoong followed by laughter from the others who was also imagining the scene.

“That would be soo cute” commented Yunho.

“Haha I would love to see that” added Yoochun.

“Very funny guys, I was being serious you know”

“Haha we know. I’m also looking for that person. That’s why I’m being friendly to girls.”

“Changmin you’re just justifying you being a ert” Yoochun teased.

“Hyung it’s not like you’re any different and besides how would I know that that person is the one I’m waiting for if I won’t even talk to them.”

“He’s right it’s not like they’ll come with a red string attached to their pinky or a sign that says Shim Changmin’s future property” said Yunho followed by another fits of laughter.

~*~*~*0~*~*~*~

It’s 2 am and she just got off from work. She was on her way to her house; walking or climbing just like any other poor heroine does in those Korean dramas where they live in one of the poorest neighborhood and that you have walk an elevated road and climb the stairs of an almost torn down building. She was practically dragging her feet since she was tired from working two jobs. She was almost at her doorstep when hands grabbed her shoulders. She trashed her arms and screamed but her voice was muffled as the other man covered .

“Shhesh, stop struggling were not going to hurt you. Well for now we won’t” the man smiled exposing his crooked teeth. Recognizing the face Hee Jin’s heart thumped like it would blow up anytime soon.

“I I don’t have money yet. My mother needed money for medicine and my salary won’t be given till next month and I ahhck ” her stuttering words were cut off as the man pulled her by the hair and brought her face near to his.

“I don’t ing care if your salary comes next year or next decade. I want that money by next week. You got that?” Hee Jin nodded and he let go off her, pushing her to the ground. “This as a warning, you better have the money because we won’t be so nice next time” the guy said towering over her.

~*~*~*0~*~*~*~

It’s Sunday and she’s tending a garden with the hot sun shining down on her. Endless Sweet Café is closed during Sundays so she decided to get another part time job to earn more money. After another garden to tend and a house to clean she’ll got to Mirotic which is busiest during the weekends.

“You should take a break and drink this” the owner of the house she is tending to offered her and she gladly accept.

“tsk tsk why such a young woman like yourself is working so hard. Aigoo young people at your age should be in school, dating and falling in love” she said as she looked at her with pity, a look she been getting a lot lately.

She didn’t say anything and just drunk her juice. Yes she should be in college right now finishing her studies. Learning in a classroom and holding a pen. Instead she’s tending a garden right now, her hands wearing dirty gloves holding a shovel digging soil. She still has two years left to finish and she’s planning on going back and continue her studies after she saved enough money. But she wasn’t counting on that any time soon since every plan she seems to make always have the opposite effect. Stop thinking about that and just keep working. Think about studying later and pay those demon’s first then you can live your life for yourself.

~*~*~*0~*~*~*~