"What are you listening to, Hana?"
Byul pulled out one of my earphones and put it in her ear. She immediately screwed up her face.
"Ew! 2NE1!"
I slapped her thigh, hard.
"Hey! They're better than that girl group you listen to!"
"Which one?!" She narrowed her eyes.
"......That one!" I quickly tried to think of any girl group name that I could say. "The one with lots of members!"
Hanbyul snorted.
"You can't remember, can you?"
"I can!" I said defensively. "Crown? King? You know....the poly moly one?"
Byul looked as if she was going to burst of laughter.
"It's T-ara, Hana. T-araaa."
I looked at her and we both started laughing.

None of my friends liked 2NE1, infact, the only person I knew who did was choiapple. And when I saw that they were going to release a new Japanese song, I was itching to go home and log on to tell him.

It in was May, five months since the start of school, and five months since we had started that partner project. Choiapple and I had grown close during this time - we shared a lot of interests like movies, books and music as well as taste in food and guys. I discovered that he was as big a fangirl as I was - a er for an eye smile and chocolate abs. We would watch music videos together while typing our reactions over chat. It would go along the lines of, for me, "OMG SO HOT! THEY'RE SO GOOD AT DANCING AND SINGING OMG OMG FEEL LIKE FAINTING OMG WHY ARE THEY SO HOT I CAN'T BREATHE?!!!!! GAISVAJXJADWKUEEIWDBKABD" for the guy groups, and when he forced me to watch a girl group music video, he would often spazz like "OHMYGOD SHE'S SO HOT I THINK SHE'S MY IDEAL GIRL I JUST KNOW IT OMG WAEYO?!!!!! I FEEL HOT RIGHT NOW OMGGGZZZZ!"
We talked together so often and about everything and anything that time flew by so fast when we were on chat. I would look at the clock and it would say 2am - we would be talking since after school 5pm and it only felt like half an hour.

It so happened that one day when I logged on to tell him about 2NE1's new song that I saw his emoticon was a sad face. I was scared to ask him what was wrong, just in case it was too personal to talk about to me, but I remembered that time four months ago where I was feeling sad about Woohyun, and choiapple bravely asked if I was okay. I thought I should return the courage because that time he comforted me really worked.

Choiapple >.< is everything okay?

I knew something was wrong because usually he replied straightaway. I could see him hesitating because the "typing a message" symbol kept flashing on and off.
I waited patiently for him to reply.

Nothing's wrong. I'm okay.

I grimaced. Obviously, he was not okay.

Hey, you know you can talk to me about it, right? I'm here for you :) and I don't like seeing you sad! :(

I can't type it. It's too long.

Oh :( I can wait, I don't mind !

Do you have a phone? Can I call you? It's just.....I really need someone to talk to. And none of my friends understand. Please?

I hesitated. This was the first kind of contact we had initiated. Our communication was always just over the Internet, and we never mentioned meeting up or talking because I think we were both scared of what the other would think. But he really needed me right now, so I swallowed my fear and nervousness and replied.

Yes, of course. What's your number? I'll call you!

He posted his number and I dialled the number on my phone with shaky hands. I didn't put my number on private, even though my gut instinct was telling me to because, at the end of the day, I didn't actually know him. I knew his favourite foods, movies, books, drinks, family members - I knew what pleased him, I knew the little things that annoyed him and I knew that he had a pure heart. Even though he seemed charismatic and strong on the outside, I knew that his heart was innocent, and hurt easily by things like his family fighting or his friends being excluding or his grades dropping for no particular reason.

As the phone dialled, I panicked. What was I doing? What if he was some weirdo who only pretended to go to my school, and in real like was an old smelly man who liked teenage girls? I gulped. It wasn't too late to hang up. I was so tempted to just press the red button but I heard a muffling sound on the other line. It was too late to hang up now. The person on the other line spoke, and all my fears were dissolved once I heard his voice. It

"H-hello?" He hiccuped. My breath caught in my throat. He had been crying, and my heart twinged in pain.
"Hi," I said quietly. "It's me, parkpineapple."
On hearing my name, he sobbed even harder. I bit my lip. His sobs were painful to listen to, and they seemed as of they were being ripped from his chest.
"Hey, it's okay," I breathed. "What's wrong?"
He took a deep breath. I waited patiently until his sobs died down and he was able to speak normally again.
"My brother was in Hongdae a few days ago. I told him to buy me some new shoes. When I called him to check what colour he had got, he told me already that he bought me black ones. I got really angry and yelled at him because I told him I wanted red, not black." He paused. "I guess I was feeling really angry that day. He grumbled but said he would go back I return them for the red pair. He was walking back to the shop, telling me how annoying I was when I heard a - a -"
He stopped talking and choked up a little.
"Shhhh," I cooed. "What happened next?"
"I heard a horn beep loudly a-a-nd a l-loud thump, and he had been hit! By a car!" He wailed. "All because I wanted red shoes! And now he's in hospital in an indefinite coma."
He sniffled. "The guilt I feel is indescribable....beyond words. I can't even get out of bed these few days. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't even look at anyone in the eyes anymore. I just sit in my room......." His breath caught in his throat and he sobbed some more.

I was speechless at this. How he must be feeling right now, I couldn't even begin to fathom it. I knew he felt guilty, but it certainly wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault that his brother got hit by a car. It was an accident.

"Hey," I said softly as he cried into the phone. My heart felt uneasy. I had never heard a guy sob that hard before. "Don't beat yourself up. It isn't your fault, you know that right?"

"I know it isn't," he sobbed. "I wasn't the one driving the car." He wiped his nose. "Just....if I wasn't being so selfish, he wouldn't have needed to return them!"
"You didn't know it would end up like this," I said helplessly. "Your brother wouldn't blame you for it."
"Y-you don't even know him."
I was quiet for a bit.
"You're right. I don't know him, and I'm sorry."
He was quiet for a bit too.
"No......that's right. You're right. He wouldn't blame me for this."
"Yes. See? So you should come out of your room and shower and eat something, choiapple, because your brother would hate to see him they way you are now. Is he in hospital?"
"Yes," he replied in a small voice.
"Have you gone to see him?"
He choked up again. "No. I feel like I have no right to be there," he sobbed loudly, sniffling,
"Hey, don't say things like that. He needs you by his side to give him strength to wake up and recover! Please choiapple," I added when he didn't reply. "Don't be like this. You're hurting me too."
He cried louder into the phone, sniffling helplessly.
"Why are you being so nice to me," he sobbed. "I don't deserve this!"
"No way. Of course you deserve this. No one should think of themselves in that way, and you're no exception!"
"T-thankyou," he whispered.
I smiled widely. "Hey, you're welcome. Anytime, I'm here to talk! Now, get off the phone with me and go take a shower. I'm sure you smell," I laughed.
He broke out into a choked laugh. "I think I do. It's been three days," he said.
I could hear in his voice that he was feeling better already.
"Bye, parkpineapple. Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you."
"You're not bothering me. No way. You can call me whenever you want to talk, okay? Don't do anything silly now."
"Yep! I'm going to go now," he said.
"Okay! Byeee."

And we hung up. I looked at the clock. 1am. We had been talking for over two hours already, and I was dead tired. Time for bed ! I undressed and climbed into bed.

That night, I couldn't really sleep. My mind kept wandering over how choiapple must be feeling, and how I would be in his situation. I thought of how lucky he was to have someone to talk to because his friends, I knew from our previous conversations, were proper men who didn't like to talk about their feelings.